Turn that frown upside down

It has been a struggle to try to find the good in my current situation - you know being trapped somewhere I do not want to be just because, despite fulfilling my obligations and training, my advisor needs to use what she can to maintain some power dynamic she thinks is important. I have pushed to set a defense date and failed and been miserable in the meantime. Since I had my last break-down (I was going to say melt-down, but it was way more than that) the beginning of September, I have had to decide to let it go for the sake of my mental and physical health. Pushing and trying to get out is not worth the mental anguish. I have a funded job, one published paper, one being resubmitted, one coming back from review and my full dissertation through two rounds of revisions. People in academia who I have told my advisor's publishing rule and all that I have accomplished are shocked that this situation is not more flexible.

But because of my efforts to let go of the anxiety and anger, I am very sensitive to other negativity right now. And this may seem like a random segue, but I promise that the feelings I have in response to the shock many have over Obama receiving the Nobel Peace Prize are very similar in frustration, sadness, and almost anxiety. I am not saying that perhaps the committee could have waited until he had had success in his international diplomacy, but I think that people get caught up in their feelings about domestic policy and their overall disagreement with him being president, and that is not what the Peace Prize is about (unless I misunderstand this whole Peace thing).

So here are the questions I have:

Even if the suggestion that the committee is interfering with the health care policy being developed now in the United States by honoring Obama this way, who cares? Aren't we getting involved in another countrys' politics when we and other countries essentially send our military to places around the world? Or support one politician in a foreign election over another?

Again, not arguing that Obama doesn't have a long way to go in his efforts, but isn't it possible that the committee is trying to build momentum to actually achieve nuclear disarmament and international collaboration? How are these bad things? If children are constantly told to stop fighting and just get along, why can't countries be held to the same simple standard?

I think it is important to acknowledge that this is not something Obama did. This is a decision made by a foreign committee. You can not lay blame on someone for receiving a Peace Prize, and it feels like that is behind some comments I have read. Is it so bad that America is rising in the esteem of the international community? That they are encouraging his efforts in international diplomacy, and perhaps domestic issues, because they already hope for change as he does? Are stagnancy and isolationism good things? It is promising to me that foreign countries are encouraged by the difficult discussions going on in the American political arena.

Truly, I am sitting here tearing up because I struggle with being hopeful for myself every day - hope that I can move soon, that my post-doc will work out, that my relationship will work out, that someday I will have my own family and career and be happy. I wish all this negativity and skepticism could sometimes be redirected into positive and hopeful expectations for the international community, because it is really difficult to avoid all the negative around me.