So much to say

So many titles I can give the randomness could be this post, but it's getting late and I need some sleep so I can try to get some work done tomorrow. Three weeks tonight until I am living in a new place. It's crazy. Scary. I try not to think about all the things I want to do before then. All the things I could have done.

But enough about work.

My sister is a smart lady. She saw this crush happening and was worried what might happen if I pursued it. Never fear. I wanted too much to be back on the right coast near friends and family to let the possibility of a relationship pop up on my radar for real and keep me in this Midwest town.

As I type this, I am on the FB with one of my favorite contemporaries joking about redecorating his bathroom next week when I will be the second adult with my other favorite contemporary at summer youth "group"/hang out while the former goes to some show he wants to go to. We chat every other night or so on the FB. Sometimes during the work day. Minimally at church because I'm awkward like that. Le, sigh.

The other night, he informed me this should be my new theme song.

Aw.

Last night I think I started saying good-bye to people. It was the year-end handbell dinner. People gave me cards and hugs and it is kinda sad. We met at the home of the woman with whom I was paired prior to joining the church. Her daughter lives in a neighborhood of Boston and teaches school in a town near my sister. Her husband passed away several years ago. She herself was a teacher and just took early retirement at the end of this school year. She encouraged me to ring bells. She feels sorta like an aunt. She keeps track of me and what is going on in my life. I was in my car as one of the last three and she and I ended up talking for another 30 minutes while the mosquitoes had their fill. Over the course of the conversation though, she informed me that the one contemporary, RM if you're still with me on this random story, is going to miss me. I think she meant because I have started being involved with the youth at church and am mostly willing to take on organizational/leadership-type responsibilities and will say yes when asked as long as I do not have something else specifically planned. There is the other 'what if' side still...see the song suggestion he gave me above and any previous discussion of avoiding the over-thinking college woman I was so I don't get wrapped up in the what-ifs and get my stuff written and my apartment packed and my butt moved so I can start my career for reals.

I'll take it

It is good that I have enough good to even out the car repairs that necessitated a rental car because they could not get the parts early enough in the day. For the record, my rented Chevy Sonics is tiny! Oh, and I need to submit my research paper somewhere. You can send science magazines a description of your paper and they will give you a perspective on whether they think it would be good for their journal. So far, several have suggested that my paper is not a good fit, but not to let that discourage me from submitting to their journal in the future. Okay.

On with the good! I have an on-campus interview next week, and will see turns out another phone interview at another school. I may have choices in this whole job search thing!

I remedied a failed Loft visit with a post-Sandy celebration of buying Loft clothes when their website went online. Best part? I now have dress pants that fit correctly for one of my interview days.

I tried on some of my dress pants at the end of the summer and they were a tad snug. Inappropriately tight. So, I decided more exercising is necessary. I have been jogging every once in a while when it is still light out because it is faster than walking. The time change makes this difficult. Yesterday I left work early and fit in a run. I realized that if I run a little slower, I can run further. Go figure. I did a 2.85 mile route without walking. I am quite proud...and still refuse to become a "runner". Pants are still tight, so the next step is to lay off the chocolate...or not buy more when it is gone...

I am heartened by the results and the numbers from the recent election. And that is all. Except for what I posted on Facebook that I have repeated to myself many times:

I promise to put myself in your shoes and recall the disappointment of my candidate losing if you promise to put yourself in my shoes and understand that this is what I think is best for our country.

My friend told me that he thinks I am ready to be a professor because I handled a small situation well and did not make a big deal out of it. He also told me that he still thinks I have become funnier, except that he feels there is something negative underneath. Like I will crack one day. He is not entirely wrong, as any of you regular readers may know. But at least I am funny.

I have done a couple of research things the past week, which is great. My friend (the grad student in the lab) and I have had some great science conversations. I am often the go-to person because our lab manager is splitting her time with another position on campus. This has been a great experience and just emphasizes to me that I am ready to move on.

I have a job talk that is almost ready to go. It has taken me over a week to get it to this point, but I think about it a lot so when I sit down to work on it, it is relatively quick. What I have NOT done is prepare for meeting with people at the college. It is going to be a stressful couple of days getting ready to go, but I have new clothes (see above point).

The whole point of this is that I'll take it. I am reminding myself of all the good to help let go of the bad and it seems to be working. Go me.

Fingers crossed

I have all these *things* swimming around in my head. While I should be finishing up revisions of a research manuscript, I want to just write these down so I can let them go (for now). After the manuscript, it is on to job applications this weekend. That makes me think about life, and what I want out of it. If the job search goes well, I will be moving next summer. That is crazy and exciting.

A while back I was reflecting on why the holidays were difficult for me last year.  Those things are all still true. I spend a lot more time thinking about them than I should. The funny thing is, that every time one of my good friends has a baby, gets married, or gets engaged, I am not sad at all. I am excited. And happy. And wish I lived closer to them. In fact, after my trip back to Boston this summer, my friend/the grad student in the lab told me he thought I had gotten funnier. I think I just happened to be happier than I usually am after seeing so many people who I miss! Oddly, when people I am not close with, or with whom I was once closer, I get sad when any of these things happen. Give me a while, and I can let it go.

What I am having more difficult containing is hope. This sounds silly. Who tries to contain hope? When I think about getting my next job though, I hope that life will finally click. There are quite a few jobs that fit my area of research quite well. They range from small liberal arts colleges to larger universities. A couple of them are larger schools than I *think* I want, but you never know until you get a chance to visit them. Many (maybe I am up to 10 on the list) are from D.C. to Boston. This is prime friend and family land. 10 may not sound like many, but when I was watching the job listings last year, the ones to which I applied were not good research/interest fits. I think this is promising. My CV is better than last round, particularly if I get this paper submitted the end of the month. I have hope that one of these will work out.

I have basically decided that when I get a job, I will get a car. Mine is dying a slow death, but I have a hard time thinking about taking on a car loan right now. The engine seems great, it is all the other extras, like the air conditioning, that make me worried something else is going on. Much to my sister's chagrin, at the moment that ugly Prius is high on the list. I have hope that I can get a great hybrid car. If I get a job at some of these schools, I may need an AWD vehicle though.

I am reaching with the submission of this paper to a high impact journal. Nothing related to this aspect of my research topic has been published, so the story our data make is that much more exciting. The grad student's project that we have always planned to include is starting to work, and that will make this journal less of a reach. He works hard and has been working A LOT to get it done. I have hope that he can get it done, and this journal will like the story.

Maybe this weekend I will give y'all an update on what I have actually been *doing* if you are interested. Off to uncross my fingers and get those manuscript revisions done.

Check! The Manuscript Version

I am pretty good at procrastinating. Many of those things needed to be done; some did not. BUT, I finally drafted, edited, updated, referenced, pdf'ed, and emailed a draft of my paper to my boss and another co-author. My boss is out of town, so I do not know when she will get to reading it.

I finished a draft of the paper on Tuesday and then got a great break with my sister, niece, and nephew visiting. It was good to not think about the paper and go back and revise some before emailing it out.

For now, it is on to another training walk, maybe some baking because it is in the 70s (F, obviously), and job applications.  That's right - more writing and applying. A year from now, I might be living in a city/town near you.

Just do it.

I MUST FINISH MY RESEARCH PAPER.

Here's the deal. I need to apply to jobs, and the academic hiring process starts in August for the following school year (2013). I have found really relevant jobs in VT, PA, and WI so far, and it is early in the job posting season. One of my friends in academia thinks there may be one at school near Boston because she has some insider info too.

Since last year I: Got a fellowship, mentored two undergrads, took a short-course on teaching, and gave a talk at a meeting, among other smaller stuff. This is all good for my CV

The icing on the cake will be a paper. I had hoped that I would have a draft done in May before my undergrads started for the summer, but that did not happen. Putting together the data in the figures/pictures is almost done. Most of it is at least outlined. I am in a good position to finish it SOON.

Today my boss and I talked to the grad student with whom I overlapped briefly. I had emailed her twice about her data that we wanted to include in my paper - it makes it stronger, and more would have to be done on her project to publish it and she works on something different now. When she emailed back about her data, she emailed my boss and did not copy me. I worried that it would be an awkward conversation.

But, it was not! She had looked at the data, thought about my figures, and said it was a very thorough analysis and a good story. She is a very intelligent and hard-working woman. That was a relief.

And now I must finish my paper. And I hate starting sentences with 'and'.

Sometimes I get into the groove at home and get work done. Tomorrow is the one-monthiversary of my car's AC dying, and it is supposed to be in the 90s, so I think hitting the town's coffee shop will be the best bet to GIT 'ER DONE, as they say.

PI

PI = Principal Investigator in science speak. It is the person who runs the lab. On two or three occasions over the past couple of weeks, the grad student in the lab has informed me that I will make a good one (compliment #1). But, I do hope there is a difference in what "being a PI" and "being a post-doc PI" is like.

I leave for a meeting on Wednesday at the crack of dawn, and I have SO MUCH WORK TO DO in the next 24 hours. Realistically I cannot get it all done if I expect to be coherent at the meeting, so I cannot miss out on too much sleep. Being coherent would be good because I am giving a talk and really need to make professional contacts. Luckily, something about the summer and daylight allows me to be perfectly (hah) functional on less sleep than I manage in the winter. I know a couple of Moms who are probably laughing at my management of my sleep right now.

I have an undergrad who started a few weeks ago. I have her up to speed enough that she can get stuff done while I am gone! She took introductory biology, but had essentially zero lab experience. She has good lab hands though, which is a huge bonus and means she seems to pick up the way you do things in lab easily. Today, after talking about what she would do while I am gone, she wrote a color coded detailed list of what she will do every day. No joke. My PI (the actual PI of the lab) came in, commented that the UG would be busy while I am gone, and also that she notices that I keep people busy (compliment #2).

I found out at about 6 this evening that my second undergrad will start tomorrow. At 8:30 a.m. She has only taken an introductory biology course for non-majors (read: VERY LITTLE BACKGROUND). I will not be able to get her up to speed enough in one day for her to do anything productive while I am gone. I did print out a bunch of papers for her to read though!

In addition to these two undergrads who are directly under my care, I have helped another undergrad over the past month learn two new techniques for his thesis, and regularly consult with the grad student, the other post-doc, and (yet) another undergrad. Oh, and the lab manager has started splitting her time in lab with another on campus job because our PI will be retiring in the next 5 years, and it was an opportunity she could not pass up. So at least 1 1/2 days a week I am the one "in charge" in lab anyway. OH, and I have a work study student finishing this week (who will luckily be back in the fall) who does what bench work I wish I could do right now. He has been invaluable.

So back to the post-doc PI thing.  If I count back, I am directly in charge of three undergrads, supervise 2 others 1.5 days a week, and also consult with, oh, everyone in the lab. And I am working on a paper. And I am giving a talk this week. And I lead an undergrad journal club every couple of weeks. And I have stupidly volunteered to present at the last two lab meetings. The only thing I am missing from being an actual PI is worrying about budgets and paying people (Difference #1)! To even out the time commitment that budgeting requires, I will start looking for a job.

Also, as a PI, I will actually be in charge, rather than wonder if it is my place to tell the OTHER work study student to reallocate his time to something more useful than what he is doing. (Difference #2)

And here I am procrastinating on my work by posting. Whatevs.

Step it up

My research has gone well enough over the past year that I should be able to put together a decent manuscript of my work. This is great for many reasons: disseminating your research is important to your funding source, your career, your ability to get funding/jobs. Plus, it is exciting to have enough data to put together a story about what you think it all means.

I still have some stuff to do in lab, but my boss would like to start revisiting the beginnings of a manuscript I started last summer/fall. I had two analyses I intended to finish this week on Wednesday and Thursday that I did not do.

I had a dream last night that I was sitting in a seminar, and my boss and her colleague (a nice man who gave me great feedback on my grant application that was funded) were sitting behind me. I heard the colleague say to my boss that I had really good ideas and my research was headed in a good direction (YAY! even if it my brain making up the dream conversation). Then his voice hushed a bit as he said something to the effect of, "But she hit this peak of productivity and isn't getting as much done now," as he made a dramatic up and down motion with his hand. The only thing missing was some sound effects.

I guess my subconscience thinks I need to start working harder, or at least having more evidence of my productivity. Admittedly, my conscience agrees.

The Day to Day

Nothing too exciting around here really. CF's moved 17 days ago to start his new job. A seven-ish hour drive or a $400 flight (and 40 minute drive on either side of the flight) away. What have I been doing to try to keep busy? Some random stuff of which I thought to take pictures...

CF gave me a crock pot for Christmas. He bought it when he was with his family, and apparently his mother was not so sure about this as a gift. I have used it quite a bit though! I made apple sauce Saturday morning, then a beef stew (secret ingredient = a beer) for the evening when some friends came over, then chicken and dumplings Sunday to get me through most of the week. Here are the chicken and dumpling ingredients for the most part.

The soup part of the chicken and dumplings was good; the soup part was not hot enough for the dumplings, so they ended up a bit mushy. Still delicious though.

The cat tried to swat at me and ended up sitting like this. Hah.

Amaryllis that CF bought is in full bloom now.

I have been quite straightforward when talking with CF about how I am not all that happy with life right now and it is not very exciting. I received a dozen of these yesterday from CF with a note that hopefully this would make my day exciting.

Stuff I did not take pictures of?

I did not shave my legs for two weeks. TMI? I figured there was not really a point. Then I did shave because I had a massage coupon to use the other night. I had a massage.

I have been to the church's "young" adult bible study a couple of times. I keep thinking about what to write about this, and I surely will at some point, but really what this has made me realize is that I am not versed in the Bible at all. I did not really expect to be, but the other people who come totally are. Last week, I resolved to call friends. I called one who had called me two weeks ago. That is apparently my current turn around time. What am I so busy doing? Nothing really; just don't feel like talking about me at all.

I got a new work-study student to train who will help do some of the non-data-generating work I have to do.

I now check Pinterest obsessively when the blogs to which I subscribe do not have new posts. I tried a banana bread scone recipe I had pinned, that turned out okay. The freezer step did not freeze it enough or the texture was not right; regardless it was more like flat non-quite-cooked banana bread. I still ate it, of course. I also made this delicious smoothie. I highly recommend it!

I keep working during the day and vegging out in front of the TV at night. This is not conducive to getting my paper done. I am having a difficult time feeling like I need to work harder though.

I got out some t-shirts and picked up some supplies to work on a t-shirt quilt. I will have to take pictures as I go for some final post about it. These are t-shirts from an MS Walk I do every year. My Mom offered her t-shirts, but I said if mine looks good, I will make her her own quilt. SO, photos along the way is a GOOD idea.

Went to see the new Sherlock Holmes with a college classmate who just moved here.

That is all the randomness I can think of at the moment. I have been eating healthier, thanks to large batches of healthier crock-pot meals. I still have toooooo much candy and chocolate around the house. I am bringing the non-chocolate candy into work tomorrow.

Executive decision

Our lab manager is going to be splitting her time and transitioning to a new position at the University. This is a great opportunity for her, and one she could not pass up even though the head of our lab will not be retiring for at least three more years. As a result, the lab manager will be out of the lab for about 1 1/2 days every week for the next six months before they reevaluate how busy she is at the new job. I have been appointed the go-to person for lab emergencies during this time. I cannot really imaging much people would need me to do while she is out unless someone needs a reagent for their experiments ASAP, and then I can place an order, as I have done in the past.

I knew this was coming for months, because the lab manager and I are friends. Most of the other people in the lab did not know. The official lab email announcement was sent at the end of the day on Thursday and mentioned that the lab manager would be out Friday, Monday and half day on Tuesday. This happens to coincide with the head of the lab being out of town for those days as well. I was officially put in charge.

Putting in a few hours of lab work on the weekend definitely makes me feel more productive during the week. I have been going to church Sunday mornings then working in lab in the afternoon in recent weeks. (I consider Saturday my "day of rest" mostly.) I planned to work this afternoon to start a couple of things for the week.

I am going to take this opportunity of "being in charge" to make the executive decision* to stay home and catch up on work reading and data analysis. Plus this is what I get to look at from home! Time to make another pot of coffee.

* I could have made this decision regardless, but whatev. I MUST get work done. I MUST get in the habit of being work-productive at home. Today seems like a good day to practice.

Take a hint?

Last weekend I headed into lab to finish an experiment. A regular, six hour-ish day in lab to finish up the repeat of an experiment I have done before. No big deal. Then it did not work. This is a 'control', which means we use it to show that the other parts of the experiment DO work. No control = no data.

Wasting one day of lab time is not a super big deal in the grand scheme of things. I do not mind repeating an experiment if I can figure out what went wrong. The frustrating part is if the only option I have is just to repeat it again with no changes because I did not do anything different from usual. This also came after realizing why a different experiment was not working. So in addition to feeling like I have someone squeezing my chest half the time (which I can only assume is some sort of stress/anxiety type feeling), I am hitting that point of wanting to quit science again.

I have a theory that science makes you come really close to wanting to quit, but then gives you good data. This has happened to me many times before.

However, some failed undergrad lab mentoring experiences aside, the teaching and mentoring aspects of my life have never made me want to quit.

As I put my job applications out there and wait to hear back about a training grant (which several people have all but told me I should get after the good review of the grant), I go back and forth about whether I should go with a primarily teaching undergraduate school or one with "equal" parts teaching and research. I am applying to two undergrad institutes and two with grad programs this month. I do not have a grant or paper yet, which makes me less competitive. I do have some good teaching experiences though. I think this makes me a stronger candidate for the undergrad institutes. We will see what happens!

P.S. All of the jobs are in the Northeast where my family and friends are. Never mind that CF is starting a job a Great Lake away from me in a couple of months. I am sure there will be more about that at a later time.

Feelin' the same way

I seriously feel like I am in my last year of grad school all over again. I desperately want to finish the experiments I am working on so I can finish my paper so I can submit it and work on other experiments I want to do [so that other people in lab stop getting to do the experiments I have been talking about...a post for another day].

I spent a month trying to figure out why I could not detect a particular protein after an experiment. Come to find out, I think there was a problem WAY back when I set up the experiment. The problem is, the other post doc thought there might be a problem but had not said anything about it for a month. Awesome.

I need to finish applying to jobs. My grad advisor was quick to respond that she would write letters. Another former committee member has not responded to two emails about it. My former boss from when I was a tech is traveling and responded that she will get back this weekend and would like to talk about the letters. I immediately had a tightening in my chest and had to take deep breaths. The only *problem* I can anticipate is that another former member of that lab is applying for some of the same jobs. She and I have emailed about jobs and I emailed her this week that I was applying to them. Although she had previously emailed about them, I already knew of these jobs so as far as I am concerned there is no reason why I should not apply. She is likely a more competitive applicant anyway. Now I am worried that the boss lady will not feel comfortable writing letters for both of us to the same jobs. We will see.

I then work to convince myself that I am competitive enough, even without all the magic pieces applicants for tenure-track positions might possibly have. I try not to give in to the notorious Imposter Syndrome.

Earlier in the week I actually went for a run hoping that it would help me deal with stress (of course ongoing exercise is what would more likely help). Tonight I am going for the yoga. If that does not work, I will have to drink...after those job applications are ready.

Communication

I am actually working on my teaching philosophy, but was writing about communication in the classroom and kept coming back to a post I keep meaning to write.

I have interacted with a LOT of non-native English speakers over the past 10 years. Teaching English in China being the most intense period, but after that working with many non-native speakers, tutoring non-native speakers, mentoring and teaching non-native speakers, etc. So it is INCREDIBLY frustrating to me when non-native speakers feign ignorance about specific communications. Specifically email communications in recent experiences.

My fellow post-doc, as nice and smart as she is and in spite of the wonderful science conversations we have, just does not read emails. Seriously. Sometimes they are about things like the department retreat. Additionally, if she notices something is broken or not right, she often will not mention it to the lab manager. (I know this because if I find the problem and ask her if she noticed anything previously, she says yes.)

My boss had apparently initially intended to put the other post-doc in charge of coordinating with 4 people to have lunch with a speaker last week. I was in lab when the boss came in and ended up being the one doing it. Not a problem at all. In the email I gave the details and specifically requested people let me know if they could make it because of the limited space and extra people on the list. The day before the spots filled up and I had not heard from one post-doc. I specifically emailed her to say I had not heard from her and the spots were now filled so there was not room for her at lunch. And then she showed up. And we were short one sandwich. And it was awkward.

I have known firsthand how difficult it is to be in a country where you are not comfortable speaking the languages. I have done it three times. It does not make it okay to not try, especially when certain communication is critical for your job.

I am done venting. Back to attempting to write and going to bed...

Writing?

So I have a million things to write (for work) and got little done tonight except going through some job postings I had flagged.

-- The University where I work there are several labs who work on topics similar to the lab in which I work. One in particular is actually a "rival". This is sad because we are at the same school and collaboration should make all of our research progress, right? Due to previous transgressions within the rival lab, the PIs no longer speak. The rival lab just came out with another paper. I need to get my butt in gear on my paper! I have a good start, but it is not nearly ready to submit to a science journal yet! Today I wrote two sentences and changed another paragraph*. This can hardly be called progress.

-- My PI can support my salary until next summer. In about four weeks, I will hear back about a grant that would cover my salary for two years. This is AFTER many application deadlines for tenure-track faculty positions that I have seen online. I have been looking at job postings, but am not feeling the pressure to find THE job yet. However, a high school friend called tonight and asked if I had found anything closer to them...so I checked at specific schools instead of looking at a central site...and found a job at the University where I had really wanted to apply for grad school but then missed the deadline. (I have been frustrated in the past few years when I get spacey and mess something up, but clearly this is nothing new.) AND the deadline isn't until later in October. WOOHOO! Just because of the location and size of the school, I think it would be a great job, and I have more time to get my materials together!!

One might wonder how my teaching and research statements are going for said job applications. (Luckily I keep my CV up-to-date, so that is just a matter of tweaking for a job application.) In a moment of inspiration last night, while reading "How to write your teaching statement", I wrote a chunk of that but then did not finish it. The research statement explaining my immediate and long-term ideas for a research program is still a blank page. AHHHHH!!! I do think about these things when I am not actually writing them, so I like to think that when I do write them I get a lot done at once. Wish me luck.

*I did not ONLY do that today. I also did some experiments and figured out what an undergrad left me with, and fixed an old piece of equipment and figured out some new stuff to order and...

Categorization

I have worked with or around several undergrads. I think they can be categorized in a couple of ways. The combination of the below determines whether or not they are worth your time.

 

Sometimes, even if they are worth the time, you do not get a chance to work with them. Unfortunately, even if they are totally not even close to worth your time or aggravation, you still have to work with them. No surprise that if you want to abbreviate 'under-graduate', you get 'UG'.

P.S. I apparently think I'm too smart to get they're/their/there correct. Fixed in an update. 

Must. Focus.

I have mentioned before about how I cannot seem to get myself to just work hard all the time. I just do not want to. And by work hard, I am talking about work-work. After being away from home 11 to 12 hours a day during the week, I do not want to do work at night. A few hours each day on the weekend (dispersed over the course of the day usually) is all I usually do unless I have a hard deadline approaching. Actually the number of hours I work-work dramatically increases when I have a hard deadline (probably not unusual). This is not because I do not work towards that deadline ahead of time, but rather 50 to 60 hours a week of work-work is not enough time for me to do my own research, commute, deal with my undergrad, in theory read (I am really bad at reading publications like I should), and finish a grant application or paper manuscript (as these are usually the two ongoing things I have needed to do over the past six months). Then you add planned vacations into the mix and I put in longer hours when I get back to do work-work and resent the vacation.

BUT if you talk about home-work, I am all over that. I do not know if it is because it is not work-work or if I really do like cleaning, weeding, laundry (minus the folding and putting away), etc. Yesterday CF had (the longest ever) volleyball tournament. He wanted me to come with him but, 1) I do not do volleyball (I will go hiking or swimming any day though. I do not like physical activities I am not good at.), 2) I did not want to spend money I do not have on food and beer at a bar volleyball tourny, and 3) my boss comes back Tuesday and wants a full draft of a manuscript (not going to happen). I ended up having 12 hours by myself at his house, and because the tournament went so late we ended up not having people over for a bonfire (sad because I was looking forward to a s'more). I managed to finish some counting I have been working on for months for work-work (BORING) that should have taken me only a couple of hours. That is all I did though.

In between I cut down some little trees that had grown in front of his picture window, weeded and put grass clippings around the tomatoes/parsley/chives he has out back, built the bonfire we ended up not burning, got gas, went to the grocery store, wasted a ton of time on FB/farmville, thought about writing this post (and did not), made dinner, made hummingbird food (and one came and ate after not having the food up for a few weeks!). I found this beautiful moth when I was tending the tomato plants. My grad school friend has a butterfly garden, so I asked him if also does moths - this one is a Virgin Tiger Moth.

I also finally figured out what a weed is that I remember eating at my grandparents' house growing up. It is always in gardens and my Grandma cooked it and added lots of butter and salt. It is called purslane and there are lots of ways you can cook with it! CF had some spaetzle I had bought and then found out he did not like, so I used it to make a pasta salad with purslane, carrots, red pepper, salami, leeks, and a creamy italian dressing. It was quite tasty and CF liked it (when he got home at 11:30 p.m. and had some).

And all of this is to say that I should actually be working right now but am a pro at finding other distractions. I am in lab and have some stuff going, but should really FOCUS and do some reading and writing. It is in the high 80s and sunny out, so I actually do not mind being in the air conditioning...if only I could use the time a little more productively...

And I wait

I resubmitted an application for a training grant this past spring. The original reviews were generally quite positive about my research plan, and the negative comments were about either research that I have now completed or my mediocre undergraduate grades from ten years ago.

My supervisor is optimistic about the resubmission because of the new data I have and the changes in the proposed research.

I am cautiously optimistic.

The grant applications were reviewed last week, so of course I am obsessively checking the status to get the score and feedback to have an idea about whether they felt the application was improved, and hopefully fundable. Every time I log in, my stomach does a little somersault.

It would be nice to know this before I head out for a long weekend Thursday morning so I can stop worrying.

Fresh air (updated)

Update: I kept fixing the grammatical errors in the post. And then I was going to see if I could catch fireflies with my camera and discovered other photos I had taken over the weekend and added them in.

The flowers are a little behind this year, probably because of the cold spring. Check out what my yard used to look like.

Now it has been blossoming over the past couple of weeks though. These are perennials a previous tenant planted. Behind this one is some mesclun I planted.

The sunflowers I planted continue to grow! There are the two giant ones in the middle, a few smaller ones around, and then marigolds around the edge. The marigolds are blossoming now. The sunflowers got blown over a bit in the storm we had yesterday. When I got home today I put some sticks in and tied the flowers up so they will not get irreversible damaged. I want flowers!!

Over the weekend, I was quite productive. I did a few hours of work each day in my outdoor office. I did laundry, cleaning, cooking, etc. in between as breaks. The flower bed to the left is the one in this previous post too.

I had some visitors during my afternoon.

Some helped out.

Others were busy eating. Looks like you don't have to be early to get the worm!

Others hitched a ride in on my laundry doing unspeakable things (i.e. making little baby fireflies).

AND it is strawberry season. CF and I picked ~12 pounds in maybe 20 minutes. If I had space and the canning jars, I would have picked more and done some canning. Instead, I have had strawberry shortcake with homemade biscuits almost twice a day every day this week.

I proceeded to dump them on the floor. I stepped on one. Oops. I cut them all up and froze them in small batches so that they would not go bad after being bruised.

Whirlwind-ish

The first exciting thing that happened on my vacation, was that after 13 hours of driving to my parents' house, my 2001 Jetta finally hit 100k. I smiled a little to myself because it happened at the top of this big hill that has lots of stop lights and my car is a standard. I remember driving up that hill the one time I got to drive my Dad's Saab and worrying that I would stall and/or roll back and hit the person behind me. Didn't happen in the Saab nor in the Jetta.

The second exciting thing was at my parents' house. They live on a mountain. In the woods. With woodchucks and bear as neighbors. In the winter you can almost make out the next house through the woods. Well, my parents were not home (I knew this, but wanted to break up the drive to RI). I got there after dark and hurriedly brought my bag into the car, shut the house door, and rearmed the alarm. Then I spent a couple of hours telling myself the sound on the windows was bugs. I did sleep in the bedroom closest to my car with my key (and car alarm button!), my cell phone, and the house phone near by. Then there was a BIG old thunderstorm and wind. Normally I do not mind thunderstorms, and this would not have been much different. Except the TV turned on by itself. Twice.

My car had a bunch of leaves all stuck to it from the wind, and I survived. Then I headed off to my college reunion in the morning. I have pictures of people, but we will stick to a couple from around campus.

 

I got to see Danielle after many years at the end of the weekend, and her friend Sea Queen, who did a fair amount of my training when I was a research tech when she was leaving and whose father apparently works in my field.

Then I headed up to the Boston area and went guest-room hopping and eating and pretending to do work occasionally because my PI wants my paper done (and I do too, but not really on vacation).

THEN on Thursday of last week, CF flew into Boston for the Jack and Jill shower for my Bro and his fiancee. My sister made a great cake (mango spice cake with coconut cream frosting and homemade fondant letters) and cookies. Because she can.

I managed to coerce men into playing gift bingo by telling them there were prizes. My niece and my nephew got to work their first keg - I am pretty sure no cup was empty all day. I do not know about my future sis-in-law, but my brother seemed pretty excited about getting home-boiled maple syrup and a fancy shmancy vacuum. And the night was topped off with a fire in the fire pit, complete with weiners and s'mores. Somehow CF and I hit the road in the morning to drive the 13ish hours back here...not until 9:30 a.m. though.

Anyway. I think I got a lot "done" while I was back East. In no particular order, I got to:

• Catch up on the good and not-so-good with friends from many stages in my life - college, research tech years, and grad school
• Put on a fancy dress and test my shoes for my Bro's wedding
• Visit several restaurants from college and grad school that I miss
• See things I have missed - a friend's house, friends' 14 month old pivot (she saved the first steps for just after I left. Jerk.), another friend's six month old (and a grad school guy friend who refused to put said baby down?!)
• See things I got there just in time for: a friend's ultrasound photo of her growing "parasite" that they just started telling people about, an engagement, a new apartment
• Finally get frames for my college and graduate degrees
• Drink too much on three distinct occasions
• Experience about the best weather I think Boston has had in a row in a long time

Not bad, huh?

Back to life

After about 10 days away from lab, I have spent about 32 hours there so far this week. Why bother with vacations, really? Just today, my-favorite-grad-student-who-needs-a-blog-name and I were discussing how you are not compensated monetarily for your effort in academia. And if you think you can get by happily on tenure alone, more power to you. Anyway.

I was going to make some long post with photos and stories, but that will have to wait until perhaps tomorrow night when I am making CF's birthday cake for his postponed party. For now, I think I should leave you with that amazing song and hit the sac.

Whose responsibility?

1. The other post-doc at work is not a native English speaker. While I understand how difficult it is to live in a foreign country and not be able to communicate, I struggle between things that I should do for her, and things that are not my responsibility. I was lucky when I lived in China, because my job was to speak English. Here, though, her job is to do science. She came to the lab about six months after me, but has more research experience in our field than I do. I constantly wonder if I should make sure she reads the department emails about when the water is being shut-off in the building for repairs (for example). Or, follow up with an on-campus symposium that was free, but for which you should pre-register. Or, coordinate submitting poster abstracts for said symposium because our boss was out of town. I struggle with this because while English is not her first language, reading emails about these things should be on her to-do list, but I know that she does not always read them. Blissfully unaware is not always a good thing, and I cannot make sure she is keeping track of these non-experiment but somewhat important aspects of work.

2. Being that CF has managed to keep himself alive to 35 years old (almost), I am not inclined to do everything or make decisions for him. Nor do I appreciate the implication that he does things for or because of me (like leaving somewhere at 1 in the morning because I am tired). At some point he needs to stop acting like an early 20-something. He has taken to try to make me make decisions, like should he come to my college reunion weekend or the shower weekend? I told him I want him at both, but know that he can't/won't so he needs to decide. Both are important to me. This past weekend he managed to get in two bachelor parties in Milwaukee: my brother's and a friend's. Apparently Friday night he stayed at the baseball game while the rest of my brother's bachelor party crew went to a bar. We had a text discussion about this (probably because he was alone at a baseball game). I think his decision was weird (and kinda rude). I told him so. His response, "They were pretty toasted already." So? He also would have been toasted had he left on Friday to get there when he originally planned to. Not my problem. (Being that the Brewers are his favorite baseball team, I understand not wanting to leave halfway through, and I would feel the same way at a Red Sox game. I did not know he viewed the weekend as a baseball weekend instead of a bachelor party weekend though.) Then he tells me that my dad indirectly mentioned going to a beer fest the night before the shower in a couple of weeks and did not pay for part of the hotel room. What the hell am I supposed to do with this information? They say men don't want mothers, but really....