A new home?

I was pretty involved in my church growing up - bell choir, choir-choir, recorder ensemble, youth group, search committee. It was a great community. Some of my teachers went there. Some of the adults would always give me big hugs when I was home from college.

I never really found that after leaving for college, and living in Boston only tried halfheartedly. When I moved to the Midwest, I thought church would be a good way to get to know people...only the ones I was interested in were too far away for me to get up and get there on a Sunday morning.

Now that I am closer to work, I am also closer to some churches I would want to visit. So I did! Not only that, but I went into it intentionally looking for a new church home. The greeters were super friendly, and given my intent was happy to be a little social. They invited me to their brunch they were having to raise money for a new Christmas tree, and also a meeting after the service for the young adults in the congregation. I went to the latter, but had to get to work so skipped the brunch (bad move, I am sure, because you could smell it during the service and one of the greeters told me they eat well in that church). They had great music; I smiled to myself about the teenager complaining to her mother about her hair conditioner behind me; they seem to have a nice mix of traditional and more modern aspects of a Protestant service.

AND I got home today to a nice note from one of the greeters and his wife in the mail.

I think I will go back.

Take a hint?

Last weekend I headed into lab to finish an experiment. A regular, six hour-ish day in lab to finish up the repeat of an experiment I have done before. No big deal. Then it did not work. This is a 'control', which means we use it to show that the other parts of the experiment DO work. No control = no data.

Wasting one day of lab time is not a super big deal in the grand scheme of things. I do not mind repeating an experiment if I can figure out what went wrong. The frustrating part is if the only option I have is just to repeat it again with no changes because I did not do anything different from usual. This also came after realizing why a different experiment was not working. So in addition to feeling like I have someone squeezing my chest half the time (which I can only assume is some sort of stress/anxiety type feeling), I am hitting that point of wanting to quit science again.

I have a theory that science makes you come really close to wanting to quit, but then gives you good data. This has happened to me many times before.

However, some failed undergrad lab mentoring experiences aside, the teaching and mentoring aspects of my life have never made me want to quit.

As I put my job applications out there and wait to hear back about a training grant (which several people have all but told me I should get after the good review of the grant), I go back and forth about whether I should go with a primarily teaching undergraduate school or one with "equal" parts teaching and research. I am applying to two undergrad institutes and two with grad programs this month. I do not have a grant or paper yet, which makes me less competitive. I do have some good teaching experiences though. I think this makes me a stronger candidate for the undergrad institutes. We will see what happens!

P.S. All of the jobs are in the Northeast where my family and friends are. Never mind that CF is starting a job a Great Lake away from me in a couple of months. I am sure there will be more about that at a later time.

Two sides

There are two sides to every story. I get the whole "occupy where ever" thing. Some of those people are unemployed, but some have also decided that this is more important than their job right now.It is impossible to see the whole picture if you are not there.

There are some aspects of news coverage and opinion pieces I value over others.

For example, it helps when you talk to people to figure out what they are about though, as this woman did. [And yes, I linked to a Fox story!!]

...rather than accusing parents of raising their children more poorly than you do and all entitled and pierced. I actually feel sorry for this woman's children. She says nothing is "free". I wonder what they have to do for her respect and love. It she did not write this when she was having a bad day, I would hate to see what she writes if she IS having a bad day.

Feelin' the same way

I seriously feel like I am in my last year of grad school all over again. I desperately want to finish the experiments I am working on so I can finish my paper so I can submit it and work on other experiments I want to do [so that other people in lab stop getting to do the experiments I have been talking about...a post for another day].

I spent a month trying to figure out why I could not detect a particular protein after an experiment. Come to find out, I think there was a problem WAY back when I set up the experiment. The problem is, the other post doc thought there might be a problem but had not said anything about it for a month. Awesome.

I need to finish applying to jobs. My grad advisor was quick to respond that she would write letters. Another former committee member has not responded to two emails about it. My former boss from when I was a tech is traveling and responded that she will get back this weekend and would like to talk about the letters. I immediately had a tightening in my chest and had to take deep breaths. The only *problem* I can anticipate is that another former member of that lab is applying for some of the same jobs. She and I have emailed about jobs and I emailed her this week that I was applying to them. Although she had previously emailed about them, I already knew of these jobs so as far as I am concerned there is no reason why I should not apply. She is likely a more competitive applicant anyway. Now I am worried that the boss lady will not feel comfortable writing letters for both of us to the same jobs. We will see.

I then work to convince myself that I am competitive enough, even without all the magic pieces applicants for tenure-track positions might possibly have. I try not to give in to the notorious Imposter Syndrome.

Earlier in the week I actually went for a run hoping that it would help me deal with stress (of course ongoing exercise is what would more likely help). Tonight I am going for the yoga. If that does not work, I will have to drink...after those job applications are ready.

I'm a fan

Listen if you have not heard it before.

Randomness

Saw this on someone's wall on the FB just now:

Sometimes people cry not because they’re weak. It’s because they’ve been strong for too long.

(A quick g--gle search attributes this to 'Anon')

Also saw someone write 'iDead', and while I should not have, I laughed.

Also, in the past week I made pumpkin bread, pumpkin cookies, cheese and veggie soup, and sweet potato biscuits. Yum.

Now back to work.