Is the end really that near?

Earlier in the week I was commenting on the lack of true motivation I have right now. When I first started grad school, I was a machine. A machine I tell you! I was used to being a research technician where your job is to "just" do lab work, so I kept the momentum going and have a publication to show for it.

I also have a bunch of random data towards the next paper.

When I didn't want to keep going with the analysis earlier in the week, I did a little each day and began to realize why I did the experiment in the first place...also that I really needed to look at the whole experiment before I presented in a joint lab meeting this morning. So, I did. And there was one part of the experiment that wasn't clean and needs to be repeated. No big deal. I still put together a story and explained the gap and my intentions to fill it.

This is a meeting with members of about 6 different labs that work on completely different stuff. It isn't a talk to give a complete picture, but rather present a work in progress and hopefully get feedback. My project is probably the most foreign of all in the group and usually people just smile and nod. This morning I actually got a lot of questions and feed back today though!

One faculty member gave some good ideas/questions about trying to measure the affected hormone in the pathway I am suggesting may be affected or performing some sort of rescue experiment to cancel out the effects I see.

After not realizing what one faculty member was asking, she said, "If you were to go on an interview, what would your take-home message be?" [Who said I was going on an interview???]

At the end of my talk, another faculty member, who I respect a lot, came up to me and said essentially, "First of all, great job. You spoke very clearly and explained yourself well. Pretty soon you'll be taking this on the road so I have a couple of suggestions for when you speak to a wide audience." [Taking this on the road???]

Interestingly, my actual advisor said nothing to me about the presentation.

When I was in my second year and had been working on my project for two semesters, I presented at this joint meeting and a visiting speaker was there. She later asked my advisor how close I was to finishing. When my advisor told me this story, she didn't convey that she was glad or proud that I made a good impression, rather said something to the effect that the visiting speaker was just trying to be nice. Thanks.

Today two other grad students who are ahead of me asked me when I was finishing. Um, this is only my fourth year in grad school, and I at least expect it to take me 5!

I'm not sure if this makes me more motivated or scared/worried about what I'll do next. I keep saying that if I have nothing tying me to this area (aside from my family who lives in New England of course), that it would be a great time to move somewhere. Try something new. That would mean I start looking. Now.

100 things: 51 - 57, My boyfriends

No, I'm not going to describe multiple relationships I've been in. These are my famous boyfriends who I have to share with women around the world (not to mention their real life girlfriends or wives).

51. My movie star boyfriend: Matt Damon. I've always been a Matt fan, not a Ben fan.

52. My (current) second movies star boyfriend: James Marsden. I'd totally do him after seeing 27 Dresses. (Pardon the expression.)

53. My baseball boyfriend: (was) Johnny Damon. Like back in the day before he became a Yankee, all the other women in the world, and he looked like a painting of Jesus.

54. My (American) football boyfriend: Tom Brady. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Much like Johnny, Tom and I go waaaay back to 2001, thank you very much. My Mom even had a dream for me in which Tom and I were together and met up with my parents for lunch.

55. My soccer (football) boyfriend: Landon Donovan, thanks to the 2002 World Cup.

56. My music boyfriend: Dave Matthews. I actually really disliked his music until I went to a concert in college. Those "I'll back you up" lyrics? That's about me.

57. My TV boyfriend: Used to be Pacey, now I don't know...I don't watch a lot of TV...I guess I'll stick with Pacey/Joshua Jackson.

I almost forgot my one-year anniversary!

I recently wrote that I am sometimes a stereotypical man, in that I forget dates easily. Well, I'd been thinking about how January 29th has been coming and it would by my one-year anniversary. I did remember during the day, but not until about 12:30, that the 29th is today. So happy anniversary to me!

Lest you get confused, it's true I am single.

I had my thyroid out a year ago today. As I remembered this, I thought, "I really wish I was laying in bed all day just like I was a year ago today." Okay, so surgery is a bad reason to get to lay in bed. One of my fellow grad students commented that they only way they could get me to stay home was if I had surgery. I do go through some pretty intensely dedicated phases in lab (right now not being one of them), so it was nice to watch daytime TV, movies, and read for a week last year.

You can still see the scar, even though I thought it would be hardly visible by now. I've seen other's scars less visible after a shorter time. I should not complain though. I am sure in a couple of years it will be hardly visible, as it's improved a LOT over the past few months and I have been sure to not let it get sunburned, etc.

I have been lucky too. I did not have to undergo radioactive treatment, as the pathology was benign. The first dose of thyroid hormone they put me on has been perfect.

Friends gave me flowers.

The (then sort of) ex brought me a balloon (a week after surgery, but whatever).

My office mates gave me a care package with a Blockbuster gift card, chocolate, hot cocoa, girlie magazines and a sudoku book. My parents gave me a nice pair of earrings. I got lots of emails and cards. Everyone was very caring and helpful. I know wonderful people.

So, happy one year anniversary to me!

Update on the poll question

POLL: How to close out the online dating?

Send last message to one interesting guy, close the rest.	3 (50%)
Just close all the matches and be done with it	0 (0%)
Leave 'em open. Who knows when you'll want to jump back in to the online dating thing?	1 (16%)
Close 'em all. Leave 'em all open. Whatever. Just pick a different service next time.	2 (33%)

Poll closed
***************************
Apparently, unless I explicitly cancel my membership to the online dating service of choice, it auto-renews. So I've turned that matching right back on until February 28th. That's right. One more month of this crap. ;) Yesterday I got 8 matches that weren't all that impressive. Is that mean? I really just mean they weren't the kind of guy I'm looking for.

Closed matches: 513

That's right, there are at least 513 men in my area that this service thinks I might be interested in, but it just hasn't worked out. That is a LOT of men.

Way to motivate...sort of.

As any of you out there in science know, research can really try your patience and motivation.

I got some potentially interesting results, which helps boost that motivation and hope that I will indeed finish grad school someday. I think that an enzyme that breaks down a hormone is downregulated in one of my treatments.

But, as a grad student, I don't want to appear toooo motivated.

Instead of pushing through scoring and photography my experiment today, I left myself in suspense until tomorrow...

Is the corresponding enzyme that essentially creates the active hormone upregulated? Who knows? The answer is sitting in four little vials in the lab.

You'd think I still lived in the Green Mountain State!

Two weekends in a row I headed to Vermont. This weekend I got to see one of my friends from high school, her husband, and my godson. You'll have to take my word for it that he is the cutest thing ever, along with all the other kids I know, of course. :) He's a little over two and looooooves books. I read a million this weekend and kept spinning him around to get him dizzy. That was the extent of activity. We also sat by their wood stove and watched "Sliding Doors". This is a great movie that I highly recommend if you've never seen it.

Anyhoo. I did take this picture at a rest stop I usually use on my way up (the drawback of drinking coffee at the start of a long drive). It's the wall of a Vietnam Memorial.
Alright...busy week. Hopefully I'll think of some good stuff to post and not just random crap. :)

Taken out of context (Part 1?) (Lyrics #14)

Here's some lyrics to guess:

French, no less much less of them then us
So why do I feel like something's been rearranged?
You know, taken out of context I must seem so strange

Here's some funny quotes taken completely out of context from the first few job candidates we have had interview in our department this semester:

"Here they are, enjoying their dinner, until I pluck them out and stick them in liquid nitrogen" ~job candidate referring to fruit flies
"When you're stuck in a dessicator, the last thing you want to do is think about laying an egg" ~same job candidate, same fruit flies

"Saying someone else's brain size is genetically different from someone else's is problematic." ~different job candidate, same job search, talking about human evolution.

And some classics from college:

"In Michigan, speed limits are suggestions." ~RAW

"She seems so nice," KHC
"Yeah, nice and bored," Jenski

Talking about an FTP site

"So did he say it's up or that he's getting it up?" ~SR
"He said it's been up," ~KHC
"So it's been up?" ~SR
"Yeah. Does it add up to 180?" ~KHC
"What do you mean does it add up to 180?" ~SR

"Well, you gave us your meat on a Saturday night, so I feel like I should do something," ~Molly

"Is it okay that I have my pants on?" ~Molly
"WE HAVE OUR PANTS ON!!!" ~Carolyn & KHC

ATTENTION: Survey!

K. I think I am paid up for 3 more days of the online dating service I used. If you want any background, just click on the 'dating' label.

The "interesting guy" mentioned in the survey is one with whom I've sent messages. He's in law school and recently had finals (I think, thanks to online stalking of which I am only slightly ashamed). I haven't heard from him in a couple of weeks, and I had given him my phone number previously, but he hasn't used it.

Who wants to weigh in?? Survey is to the right. If you have any other great ideas for the end of my subscription, do tell!

Isn't exercise supposed to do a body good?

I joined a gym that just opened up near me - it had great charter membership deals, is close to home/work, and off-peak hours I can use the ginormous one that is an equal distance on the other side of me from work that has a pool and a lot more equipment. I have been taking advantage of the yoga and step classes about once a week and then doing my own thing any other day that I can. Essentially, I am adopting my friend KHC's attitude to just make the gym part of my routine.

The first (Hatha) yoga class I went to at the new gym was 90 minutes. I hurt for several days afterwards.

The second step class I went to was today and I had a meeting a work right afterwards, so I sat for an hour. Talk about a great way to make your muscles tighten up! Then I had to TA this afternoon and didn't drink water for 3 hours. My shoulders have gotten progressively tighter from all the punching and putting them over my head. I started getting a massive headache at my sister's Tupperware party tonight. The Aleve and latte didn't do squat.

I think I'll skip my morning gym visit and rest up.

Sometimes, I'm a stereotypical man.

Today is my ex's birthday. I forget how old he is, but he's several years older than me. I am horrible with remembering dates and ages and whether people have lost or gained weight. I am super at cleaning and being organized otherwise though! Anyway, a few examples.

My high school boyfriend and I used to discuss whether we started going out on July 3rd or July 4th. This really meant, what was the first time we kissed. To this day, I still do not know, nor is it important, but I'm pretty sure that which ever day he thought it was, he was correct.

Said H.S. boyfriend used to pick wild flowers and leave them on my car when I was working. Seriously? What 18-year old guy does that??? The best I could muster up was buying him a nice sweater once.

I can never remember if my Mom's birthday is the 25th or the 26th of the month. I usually solve this problem by sending a card by mail and not calling on the day. Then I will be all clever and look at her drivers' license and think, "Oh, yeah," but not write it down. Oh, well.

Okay, so last week, the ex called and I was sitting on the couch eating dinner. He was driving home from work and said he would let me go so I could eat. He wanted to know if we could grab coffee on his birthday and I told him I didn't think so. I think after having broken up about 10 months ago, that it is important I am not responsible for entertaining him on his birthday. Luckily I have the excuse of a grant to work on!

At the end of the conversation, he said, all proud of himself, "I didn't even mention getting back together during our conversation!"

My response, "Until just now."

Keep in mind this was a 2 minute and 32 second conversation (I just checked my phone).

Not again!

Silly internet. It isn't working again and it is still from the people upstairs so I still don't have control over it. Great excuse for a lame post! Sorry. No comments necessary. :)

Big Burns

My parents had their current house built and moved into it in 2003. Because they live in the middle of nowhere/the woods on top of a mountain, there were a few trees that needed to be cut down to make room for the house. [An aside: Something like 150 years ago, VT was nearly treeless from all the grazing land and I have heard that New England/VT is way ahead of itself with forest cover. Besides, the next clearing my parents are doing is to get a windmill!] Okay, so two years ago, they had this HUGE pile of trees and brush and Christmas trees in the clearing in front of their house. They had Big Burn 1. They had a heck of a time getting the fire going because the wood was all wet. Then there was a massive snow storm that started in the afternoon, so the fire had no chance of burning up all of that wood. How to get rid of it? Big Burn 2. New and improved. My Dad covered part of the pile with a tarp to keep some of the wood dry, bought some hay to really get the fire going, my brother and his college friends were there to help out, and lots of beer was consumed. I can't find any photographic proof of that burn, I think because I was drinking from 10 in the morning until I went to bed, but I swear it was huge. The fire was too big and too hot to even roast marshmallows on. My Dad checked a week later, in the middle of January in VT, and the coals were still hot.

This year was (Mini-) Big Burn 3. It was mini because the ginormous pile of wood from previous years was finally gone. My sister and brother-in-law's friends love coming up and my parents love a party though, so they found stuff to burn. This year's fire required work. My Dad got his chain saw out and cut down dead trees.
Everyone got to drive the new 4-wheeler to get the wood back to the fire.My niece and nephew got to see cool stuff, as usual. Here's my Dad showing them a woodpecker hole in a dead tree.And here is my parents cat, all poofed up getting mad that we weren't letting him in the second he came to the door. It was still probably 20 degrees at that point. This morning it was 4 degrees, so he didn't even have to go outside.Not as much beer was consumed this year, probably because my brother wasn't there, and that was a good thing. The Beeramisu I made was amazing. It tasted almost like real tiramisu as far as the liquor flavor unless you got a really soggy lady finger.

I've been outed

I'm at my parents' house this weekend for "(mini-)Big Burn Weekend #3" and my roommate made it home with me. Sometime during the spectacular Pats game, the subject of blogs came up.
My sister looked at me and said, "Do you blog, or do you just read blogs?"
Me, "Yes."
Roommate, "You haven't told your family you have a blog??"
[total chaos ensues]
Me, "I swear it isn't that interesting! Roommate doesn't even read it!"
Sister, "What do you write about on there? Why didn't you tell me?"
Me, "Someday when I have kids and want to post their pictures online, I'll have a new blog and tell you. I post recipes and random stories. It's really not that interesting! Roommate, you should really spend more time online." (That last point was just to try and shift the conversation.)

I also had my Mom and roommate and brother-in-law all talking at me at once. It's not that I don't want my family to know, it's just I felt like telling my friends, not my family. I was tired of relaying online dating stories to friends when we would finally end a game of phone tag and catch up. I pretty much just cut and pasted blog posts into many an email to my sister anyway.

We'll see how long before my sister really harasses me for the URL.

Truly the best way to a man's heart?

COOK WITH BEER. This is a variation on one of my all-time favorite desserts. I think this is because when ever we were growing up and went to a "fancy" restaurant, they always had tiramisu, I always ordered it, and I felt so grown up eating a dessert that tasted like coffee.

Now that I'm older, I like coffee and beer (what I catch I will be someday, huh?). I subscribe to Beeradvocate magazine and they have some great recipes every month. It is also great to read at the gym, because (1) Some day a guy will think I am spectacularly cool for reading a beer magazine at the gym and (2) All of the pieces are short. December's issue has a recipe for Beeramisu. I think I've enjoyed all "breakfast beers" (i.e. coffee-flavored) that I've tried, so what better thing to do than combine in a wonderful dessert three things I love - coffee, beer, and chocolate. I also realized after making this that tiramisu is not so hard to make. I bet you could make any version - coffee and white chocolate? Bailey's tiramisu? Caramel tiramisu?

The options are endless.

The recipe is typed up in the comments because I couldn't find a link.

P.S. Lest anyone check in this weekend and think that I've failed Blog365 in less than a month, I'll be in VT at my parents. They recently got satellite internet, so we'll see how that goes. I may check in with a couple of pictures of the "Burn weekend", but my roommate is already afraid I'm obsessed with this whole blogging thing. For now, I'm going to date this entry for Saturday.

P.P.S. "Spectacular" is one of my new favorite words, hence the "spectacularly" in the post.

P.P.P.S. I think if/when I ever get a better camera and start taking cool pictures of things like Danielle, those pictures will be of food.

Wonderful news!

This morning I woke up, checked my email, and found that I was "Nominate for a Ph.d award". This is wonderful! I guess I can get back in bed and skip the research today. I don't even know A. Rucker*. I'm sure she has sent me emails before about enlarging my penis and finally realized that was not what I was interested in doing. This is the information if anyone else is wants in:

Bachelors, masters, MBA, and doctorate (PhD) diplomas available in the field of your choice - that's right, you can become a Doctor and receive all the benefits and admiration that comes with it!

*Name of the innocent was abbreviated. Apparently the person does exist, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she was not the one who wrote this email.

100 things: 41-50, The College Years

This 365 days of blogging thing is rough. Every day I think, "Gosh, what could I have to say that is remotely interesting to people I have never met (and some friends who are cool enough to want to read)?" Then I start thinking about my day and usually come up with something. I've realized that I really need to keep it about me and not tell other people's stories, so what better way to focus on me than to list 10 more random facts about myself? [Sorry to you readers who lived this. :)]

41. I'm still good friends with my freshman-year roommate.

42. Most, but certainly not all, of my best college friends lived in my hall freshman year.

43. I spent one wonderful semester in Australia: I dove on the Great Barrier Reef; I went abseiling in the Blue Mountains; I saw the Outback.

43. I think for pretty much all of college I had kissed more non-Americans than Americans. Australia bumped those numbers up.

44. Not including this whole online dating thing, the only blind date I have ever been on was in college.

45. I started pronouncing acronyms in college and love to to this day. For example, we called Au Bon Pain "A.B.P." and I say, "Uhbuhpuh."

46. My college friends are the ones who started calling me out on "Jen Stories." I maintain that if you really want to know how a Jen Story is tangentially related to the current conversation or situation, I'm happy to tell you, but it will only make the story longer.

47. I did a senior honors thesis on spiderling behavior. That's right, baby spiders. Boy, those things were adorable!

48. I helped start my university's campus chapter of Habitat for Humanity and still regret how little I managed to be involved.

49. I was an escort in college...As in the kind that drives a van around to bring students between their off campus housing and campus...Not the other kind...

50. I got my first cell phone senior year in college and probably used it a total of 5 times. People still had and used land lines, as well as turned their cell phones off when they entered the library, in those days.

Flirting is fun

My Roommate gave me a subscription to Real Simple for Christmas. I've read the magazine before and really like the hints and tips it provides. It also has very brief stories intermixed. I just started reading the February issue and there is a short article on flirting and how important it is. Dictionary dot com gives basically three definitions:

1. to court triflingly or act amorously without serious intentions
2. to trifle or toy, as with an idea:
3. to move with a jerk or jerks

Proper flirting requires a certain amount of confidence and humor, a great smile to accompany it, and can brighten a person's day. Flirting doesn't have to be between two people attracted to each other. Sometimes, the best (innocent) flirting (in my opinion) is with a baby or toddler. I'm not sure where innocent flirting falls in to Dictionary Dot Com's definitions, but I think the general public sometimes calls joking around flirting. My father is an expert at flirting with little kids. He has kept small children entertained with peek-a-boo and funny faces in lines at Disney World; he has played guns with a couple of boys in a traffic jam.

Most of the funny moments in my day involve some amount of good-hearted banter among graduate students, which I take to be flirting most of the time. Like today:

First (male) grad student to Jenski: That's a really nice hair cut, by the way.
Jenski: Thanks!
[Second (male) grad student sneaks right through the door in front of me as we get to it simultaneously.]
Jenski (with a smile of course): Second grad student, that was really rude. Sneaking through a door like that before a girl.
2nd grad student: That's okay Jenski, I not only like your hair, but also your company.
Jenski: Is that because of my sparkling personality?
2nd grad student: Your sparkling personality and your peppermint rice krispie treats*.
Jenski: That's really sweet, 2nd grad student.

See, light-hearted banter to brighten my day and make me glad I wasn't hiding somewhere working on the grant I should be writing.

*Just crush up a bunch of those candy canes lying around that Santa left on the tree and no one wanted to eat (or buy a bag of peppermint candies and crush those up). Mix them in the with the rice krispies. Add marshmallow mix. Tada! Amazing peppermint rice krispie treats. YUM.

Kooky liquor store lady

(Probably a good example of a "Jen story".)

There is this Kooky Lady who works at the liquor store near my apartment. When people mention they have gone to this liquor store and I ask if they had the Kooky Lady, they know exactly who I am talking about. She is the queen of gaudy jewelry, has frizzy blond/grey hair that she wears in a loose bun, and completely mix-matched dresses/skirts/sweaters that frequently have a small floral print and gathered elastic waists. One time she was staring at my neck (where I have a nice scar from getting my thyroid out last year) and finally said, "That's a really pretty necklace." Uh huh.

This is my third year in this apartment, and I don't think I have a drinking problem or anything, but I've been going to only this liquor store for over two years. This woman always asked for ID when I first started going, so I just started having it ready for her and she always said, "Thank you for being prepared. We really appreciate that." My roommate did not get carded there last weekend, right before her 30th birthday. I stopped by today and thought maybe I would see if the Kooky Lady would ask for my ID. She did and I obliged. She said, "You look a lot younger than that."

My response to that comment the past year has been, "I think it's because I'm single and have no children."

Tonight, I just stuck with "thanks". I can't wait to tell my roommate that I'm still getting carded.

The internet-ish generation

Recently, while giving a not-so-informative update on the dating sitch, I mentioned how my friends and I have embraced the internet mostly. So let me explain myself.

Background
When my older sister was in college, they still used pine for email. I thought it was sooo cool to email my friend in college, but we still sent hand-written letters.

When I was in college, email was much more widely used, ICQ was the big messaging program, and it hadn't occurred to anyone that sharing mp3s would turn all illegal. Google barely existed, so most people used yahoo to search the internet.

I went abroad for the 2001-2002 school year to teach English after college, so I didn't use the internet for much more than email occasionally.

Present day
My friend and I were talking about how we feel about the whole online-dating thing. One of the problems I have with it is knowing so many random things about someone before meeting them. When you meet someone the old fashioned way, say in a bar or at a party, you find out where the person is from, how long they've been in the area, maybe how long they have known a common friend. Now, when I meet a guy in person, I know all this and have to review his profile, answers to questions, what I have told him and really think about some questions I may want to ask him. I feel like I am preparing for a date the way I would prepare for an interview!

Online dating also adds a while lot of impersonal-ness to dating. The first guy I went out on a couple of dates with left me a little disillusioned about people's sense of propriety. We had dinner, ice cream and a walk the first night. Then we had dinner and watched a movie at his place, after which he did not walk me to my car even though it was after midnight. Then I went away for a weekend and called him Tuesday or Wednesday after I got back and left a message. Rather than talk to me on the phone or in person, he closed the match online and I never heard from him again. Huh. He's in his early 30's, a doctor, and can't handle telling me that he doesn't think it will work out?

So, although the internet makes staying in touch incredibly convenient, I frequently miss the other interactions that have become less common, like phone calls. The catch is that because email is so easy, I've also become really bad about calling friends to just catch up, but I'm not good about emailing back quickly either. I feel like my interpersonal skills are not as good as they should be, yet interpersonal skills seems to include online interactions too. I don't know what my point is, except that getting hand written letters is still really nice, as are phone conversations; and the internet has really messed with the world of dating; and my friends and I are at this strange point where we sort of grew up with the internet, but are not as comfortable using it to its fullest like the undergrads I with whom I work now. Does any of this make sense?

A mushroom and feta weekend

Last night was the birthday party for my roommate. We had a lot of fun. Lots of food and drink were consumed; lots of pictures were taken. I'm still recovering at bedtime the day after.

I made some yummy stuffed mushrooms for the party. The recipe doesn't have the "house seasoning" recipe that it refers to, so I just added some thyme, salt and pepper.
Then, after making a yummy peanut soup last weekend, I tried a recipe for a mushroom feta soup today. I hesitated putting the beer in it, after the party last night, but went right ahead.

Hmm...I have no idea where I got the recipe for the soup. It looks like it came from a cook book. So when I feel motivated, I'll type it in to the comments for this post.

Stupid internet

I totally tried to post something a million times yesterday (/today because I got clever and changed the post date) but something was funky with the internet...and the router and stuff are in the apartment upstairs from us...and I don't think any one was home...and I think they would have thought it was a little strange if I broke in to their apartment to play with the internet...that we do give them money for. :) I'll post more later after I wake up some more and maybe take a nap and drink lots of water and take some ibuprofen (Roommate's birthday party last night left me a little not-right this morning).

A song for every eye color? (Lyrics #13)

I always thought 'Brown-eyed Girl' was a cute song, but having very blue eyes, was never obsessed with the song. Over the past few years, a couple of songs have jumped out at me because they are about other eye colors. It's even in the song titles.

Cause Blue Eyes
You’re the secret I keep
Cause Blue Eyes
All the lights on and you are alive
But you can't point the way to your heart
So sublime, when the stars are aligned
But you don't know
You don't know the greatness you are

Honey you are the sea
Upon which I float
And I came here to talk
I think you should know
That green eyes, you’re the one that I wanted to find
And anyone who, tried to deny you must be out of their mind

Are there other eye color songs out there I don't know about?

Good stuff

This is what I had for dinner last night. YUM!

all-natrual maple glazed pork tenderloin: roasted and topped with a maple, fresh horseradish and cranberry glaze, served with chipotle sweet potato mash and asparagus

It was a-mazing. My pee smelled (from the asparagus). Sorry to be gross, but every time I eat asparagus I have to point out how my pee smells.

K.

I also got my hair cut yesterday. I love having my hair shorter because every 2 or 3 months I get it cut a little different and it is fun to play with the style. I totally trust the woman who cuts my hair. Last time I had it cut, she said that she loves cutting my hair because I'll try anything and she has to stay awake and pay attention to what she's doing. I hope, for the sake of her other customers, that she is usually at least half awake when she does their hair!

The big 3-0

Well, it's not my 30th, but my roommate's. I still have 15 months of my 20s left. I get to go out to dinner with her because her boyfriend couldn't. I love going out to dinner, so I am okay with this. Happy birthday, SK!

I don't get politics (updated)

Let me preface this by saying that I have no idea who I will be voting for in the primaries when they come my way. I also did not watch more than a couple of recaps of presidential debates. The talk in the basement office I share with other somewhat bitter women graduate students (just to set the stage) turned to politics today.

One big question - would America elect a black man or a white woman first for president? One grad student pointed out that black men won the right to vote before white women. Huh.

A question I have - Why do newscasters keep saying that Clinton's response to a voter's question indicate the stress she has been under. I think she's a pretty strong woman. This whole "close to tears" thing I really don't see, and I've seen the clip several times! Her voice softens, and you can tell that the words she speaks mean a lot to her, as her voice is almost shaky. I see no tears, but rather a heartfelt response to a question. Why is that bad?

One of the grad students brought up something about Edwards just staying in the race to get votes from Clinton so that he can come on stronger in other states where he hopes to be better received. She (the grad student) thought this was horrible. Isn't that just political strategy? If (Hillary) Clinton were a man, wouldn't he do the Edwards do the same thing?

A grad student also thought it was horrible that Edwards is campaigning despite his wife being ill. His wife wants him to, right? Lots of people have lots of health issues and were I in Edward's wife's position, I hope I would want him to push on and find strength in that to fight my disease. Romney's wife has been known to suffer from MS symptoms and take a break from the public, but he's on the campaign trail.

A newscaster spoke with a registered Republican at an Obama appearance. The man said that he is soooo disappointed in the Republican candidates that he thought he would check the Democrats out. I'm not going to lie, I tend to go with the Dems, so go Mr. Registered Republican!

I think that's it. I am minimally informed about candidate stances, and will do lots of research before I vote, because it's important to vote! I do find all the drama around this stuff slightly irritating though.

(Update: Women are Never Front-Runners)

The good and the bad

One of the reasons I chose the graduate program I am in is because it gave me the opportunity to teach. In my program, this is really just being a teaching assistant, but still. I loooove teaching. I taught English abroad for a year after college with no training and was afraid that I would be completely ineffective. How could a bachelor of science in biology qualify me to teach English as a second language? According to one of my students, my class scored higher in the writing section of their national exam than any previous years at that college. This was, of course, thanks to all of those many 5-paragraph essays I had to write in high school and making all 60 students write 1-2 essays a week, handing them back with extensive comments, and having them do it all over again until the exam. Teaching is a lot of work and very rewarding and I love helping people and seeing them learn.

The bad thing about the "opportunity" to teach in my graduate program is that our stipend is either paid as a teaching assistant or a research assistant. You are a TA unless your advisor has money to cover your stipend and make you an RA. I have been TAing for all seven semesters I have been in grad school, and will be again this spring. I don't think my research went down the path my advisor originally thought it would (read: I have no indication she is really all that interested in my project), and has no grant funding currently. I am left to TA.

The good thing is that this motivates me (a little more) to try to get my own funding. Really, I've only applied to one fellowship for three years now that would cover my stipend and allow me to just do research. Even though reviewers liked my proposed research, there is not enough money for everyone. Not only have I experienced the current national science funding situation, but I have had practice writing grants. I am planning on applying this month to a couple of grants that would cover research supplies as well.

The bad thing is that this tooooootally discourages me from pursuing a job in academia, a chance to combine research and teaching, something I always thought I wanted. If you can apply for a grant over and over and over again, get only positive feedback, yet still not receive funding, what's the point? Scientists are gradually receiving funding from the private sector, and just like government funding, this has it's pluses and minuses.

All of this motivates me a little more to try as hard as possible to finish in 5 calendar years so that I can prove it is possible to do while TAing. To do that, I need to keep trying to beef up my CV with grants or other activities and still produce important research so they will let me finish. I have one paper and my advisor claims one more fairly substantial paper would allow me to finish. I still think I will heavily weight careers outside of teaching and doing research at the university level. Teaching high school science is right up there now. I would get to teach early enough in a young adult's life to really make a difference. Encourage them to pursue science.

So, I need to go work on those grant applications a bit before 'How I Met Your Mother' comes on. :) Everyone in my office is back and that makes it difficult for me to focus on writing while I'm on campus, but at home I get soooo much more done. Maybe if someone decides to give me some research/stipend money, I'll stay in academia and finish my grad program in 5 years. Otherwise, who knows.

Making up a day.

I joined this whole Blog 365 thing a day late. I'll just give a brief update on the dating sitch (or lack there of), to make up for it.

There's nothing to tell.

Well, there's this law student with whom I've been messaging. He's got my number and really needs to call though. I think he has exams right now. Whatev.

I saw my ex as he drove down the street without his headlights on at 9 o'clock last night. Wicked smuckin' fart. People were yelling, "lights" and I just smiled to myself and crossed my fingers that he wasn't going to the same place I was. He wasn't.

I got to spend New Year's with a bunch of single women (plus one couple). We were joking about how we all found each other, 10 years ago, in college because we have some common defect that has caused us to approach our 30's as single, intelligent, attractive, ambitious, fun women. There's something wrong with that. If we could only isolate this defective gene, it would be easy to market the therapy. Or maybe it's the gene men hold to detect such wonderfulness that needs to be identified? We'll go with that. One of these friends (hi Zika!) and I discussed having a singles party. This would not be to randomly hook up with other singles at a party, but rather to identify eligible bachelors and bachelorette's within our friend network and just meet new people. Sure, there's a bunch of friend/dating networks online, but we're at the end of generation that went to college without google. Of course we've embraced the internet...almost. [Subject for future post.]

That's all for now on dating.

I swear they taste better than they look.

I have seen a lot of resolutions, resolution-alternatives, and non-resolutions out there in the blogging world this week. I wouldn't say this is so much a resolution, as a recommitment. Almost one year ago I had my thyroid out and was determined to take super good care of myself. I was worried I would have to do the radio-active treatment (I didn't), and knew that I would be really exhausted from lack of thyroid hormone during that time. I started being more conscious of my food decisions, not that I've really ever been that horrible, and being more active. I have never dieted or put myself on some strict exercise plan and had no intent. I just wanted to make habits. If it is between 20 and 90 degrees (F), I have to walk to work (only 20 minutes). Of course if it's pouring rain or I have baked goods to bring, I drive. I did really well from February through November being active and eating healthy, without giving anything up really.

Anyhoo. December was riddled with holiday parties and food and "no time to exercise". I think I only added about 5 pounds. (I don't own a scale so will randomly weigh myself in various places on different scales. Who knows if they are the same?) But my digestive tract is not happy with me. It is time to recommit to healthy habits! I have been going to the new gym that opened, for example, and am eating healthy stuff.

Spelt is one of my new favorite foods. I nice chewy whole grain. Enter, giant pile o' spelt.
I also tried a new soup recipe. Soups fill you up with all that liquid, right? This one has peanut butter in it and reminds me of peanut sauces you get at Vietnamese restaurants, or the peanut sauce I had in Senegal. Yum. I think I may try a new soup recipe every weekend. Stay tuned!

Lyrics #12

With this whole post-on-your-blog-every-day thing, I'm glad I had started posting things like lyrics and recipes.

My taste in music is rather eclectic (I think), but I do find myself choosing rather melancholy music a lot of the time. I like to think it is because it is easier to really sing along to. I am also not well-versed in any particular type of music. So, sure, I like listening to jazz. Can I tell you more than one or two really really famous jazz musicians? Not a chance.

Here are the lyrics. I still haven't seen the movie that this song was in, even though I have the soundtrack!

I drink good coffee every morning
Comes from a place that's far away
And when I'm done I feel like talking
Without you here there is less to say
I don't want you thinking I'm unhappy
What is closer to the truth
That if I lived till I was 102
I just don't think I'll ever get over you

I need to get back on the ball

For some reason, I've been particularly out of it. I am usually very on top of stuff.

Example 1: I wrote down departure times for a train. Later, a friend with whom I was traveling picked up a special train schedule. Before heading to the train station, said friend handed the special schedule to me to check the times. Rather than going with what I wrote down, I checked out the schedule and thought, "Oh, they added more trains than I had written down." We get to the train station to discover that I failed to see where the earlier train stopped. It stopped long before we wanted to get off. We were at the train station for an extra 45 minutes waiting for a later train. :(

Example 2: Planning my roommate's birthday party, I had emailed her a list of all the contacts I had from previous evites. She edited and sent it back to me. I deleted the old list that was in the evite, pasted the new list, then went back and forth between previewing and the list, then hit send, then immediately looked at the evite. There were a WHOLE BUNCH of names that she had wanted removed that were on the evite?! We hurriedly deleted them. When they click on the evite, these people will now get a message about how the host deleted them from the guest list and to be re-added, they need to contact the host. I feel really bad about this one.

I feel like there was an example 3, but I can't think of it. Just goes to show how spacey I am right now.

***UPDATE*** Yes I am updating this post literally two seconds after I posted it. See, I remember what example 3 is. A few days ago I said that I was posting my 100th post, only I lied. But I did not know I was lying. I found a couple of empty posts that were saved as drafts. This very post is my 101st post (I think). Okay, okay, that does not seem like a big deal, but I am supposed to be this super-observant scientist or something.

As promised

I had a wonderful New Year's Eve in a friend's apartment in NYC with a great group of college friends. We don't see each other nearly enough.

BUT, I mentioned a rose picture yesterday. After a couple (or a few, I don't remember) glasses of wine and some Chinese food, I went in to the kitchen and noticed this just waiting to be photographed.My friend had put flowers in a vase and this blossom just fell right in to the shiny open dishwasher. No staging necessary!

The busier I am, the more I get done.

I am not sure why I signed myself up for this, but why not? It will either give me a constructive way to procrastinate on things I should be doing, or will motivate me to get more done so I have time for a quick post. Either way, it will give me something to do while it is freezing outside this winter, and make me think of ways to "create posts" if I am away from my computer.

So for anyone who wanted me to post a great picture of that rose blossom that fell in to the open dishwasher, you'll just have to wait until I post tomorrow. I can't be wasting post topics! :)