Meaning in music

A couple more good ones from some ladies I love.

Cause when I look around
I think this, this is good enough
And I try to laugh
At whatever life brings
Cause when I look down
I just miss all the good stuff
When I look up
I just trip over things
~ Ani

Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead
You know how the time flies
Only yesterday was the time of our lives
~ Adele

Who do you think you are?

And it took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
'Cause you broke all your promises
And now you're back
You don't get to get me back

And who do you think you are?
Runnin' 'round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You're gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don't come back for me
Don't come back at all

This is a recent eye-tunes purchase, thanks to it popping up on Pandora and me already knowing all the words and it speaking to me.

Acts of Kindness

My two most recent acts of kindness:

1. A gift basket for my fellow post-doc. She got married the middle of December, and they bought a house in January. She is also in the middle of logistics for her visa, as she is a visiting scholar. She is also on the less pro-active side, so while she says she wants to invite us (lab people) over to their new house, who knows when it will be. I collected lots of different things over the course of the past two months, and left it on her desk last weekend when she said she would be in. Actual conversation: "Um, can you let me know when you'll be in on the weekend? I have something for you and it's kinda bid and kinda heavy," Me. Her, "Umm...okay?"

There's some wine, candles, towels, snacks, tea, and mugs. Her native-English-speaking husband asked why the 'M' and 'B' on the mugs...so she pointed out those are the first letters of their names. This is me withholding comment...

2. A groupon or livingsocial deal came through one day for $20 for $40 of those single-use hand warmers. I bought a box and dropped them off at the shelter in which I volunteered today. One of the clients was SO EXCITED to see a box of them and wanted some RIGHT THEN. The woman at the desk said she could not just give them out right then. (I think they check stuff in and then distribute it fairly.) It may be March, but it is still cold out here.

The praying thing

If you do not pray, if you do not believe in prayer, 

then you are living off the prayers of other people.

For Ash Wednesday, our pastor had us draw these slips of paper with words written by some man whose name I do not remember. I had three, but this one stuck with me. I honestly do not know where I stand on the whole praying/faith thing. I go to church and Bible study regularly, am a confirmation mentor, and participate in my church's community outreach, but I do not think that I pray. I will probably write more about this in the near future, because I have read a few related articles and need to make the time to think and write about it.

Regardless, prayer. We prayed before going to bed when we were really young. I say the Lord's Prayer at church. Occasionally I pray during the silent prayer at church. Outside of this I often "think" of people and hope they are doing well or wish them well in my "thoughts". So I wonder what makes a thought towards someone a prayer? If I want to pray for something for myself, do I think/say, "Dear God"?

What I do know is that there are three women at church right now at different stages of treatment for breast cancer. All three are or were in the handbell choir, as am I; two of them I know pretty well. The one woman I feel closest to has a double mastectomy tomorrow for a new tumor in the same breast where she had a tumor 15 years ago. She believes in the strength of prayer, and has asked for prayers from those who do so and healing thoughts from those who do otherwise. So whatever form of thinking/praying I do is in full force these days. She is very positive when she emails and in person, although I am sure it is not easy to be so. She lives alone with her pets, and had to make the difficult decision to put her 16-year old dog to sleep two weeks ago because with surgery coming up, his failing health was too much for her to worry about. She has had to coordinate her care and transportation for the two weeks until her first post-op appointment when she'll be able to figure out if she can drive again. She may or may not have to do radiation and chemo.

This is seriously one of my worst fears about living alone. Having to rely on and coordinate so. many. people. because you do not have a partner to help with most of it if you have a serious health problem.

In spite of all this, she leaned over a couple of times in church this morning to point out that this is the last day she ever has to wear a bra in her life, and if she wants to, she can wear a prosthetic bra and choose her own cup size. She has a fairly large chest, so she said she is going for an A cup the next time around.

It's what's for dinner...and dessert...and transportation...

I realized today that I have had a good amount of time for myself, as evidenced by how much real cooking I have been doing. There have been soups and quiches and carrot cake waffles and chocolate muffins and other yummy things. I even made double-decker Knox blocks (with just grape juice, gelatin, and cream) to bring to work. Who remembers those???


Between yesterday and today, I made these easy and delicious potatoes. I put sliced leeks in the cuts and grated parmesan on top after the potatoes had cooked ~30 minutes.

And this turkey and roasted red pepper meatloaf.

I did not follow the recipe or photograph it well, but it is still delicious. I mixed ground turkey and ground beef I had in the freezer, added dry parsley and chopped red chard, and used cooked brown rice instead of bread. Otherwise, I followed the recipe.

For dessert are Chai Spiced Blondies. If you make them, you will not be sorry.

Oh. And I bought this. It is the new Ford C-Max hybrid - basically their competition for the bigger Prius V. Given that my old car was a 2001 Jetta with a manual transmission, manual windows, and no cruise control, I feel pretty fancy and grown up right now.