I'm just too excited

This came yesterday:I think technically I can take today off from the whole Blog 365 thing, but why get out of the habit? I needed to post about having a new camera.

I am hopefully going to have my godson and his parents tomorrow to Sunday. We are supposed to get snow and they are coming down from north of here, so we are playing it by ear. If they come, there will be pictures taken with the new camera.

I should give the camera a name.

I was wondering how one would take a picture of a new camera to share? The above is borrowed from Canon. I could just use my old camera to take a picture of my new one, but I do not want to use the old one ever again. I am going to return it to its original [second] owner.

Why am I so excited about a new camera? It is my first very own digital camera that I really, REALLY should not have spent the money on. But it was on sale and I have a crap load of weddings this year and friends having babies and it was time to get rid of the old one. The story of my digital cameras (good luck following)...

My first one was given to me by my ex. He found a digital camera on the ground in a parking lot with no car nearby, no memory card, and generally no way to figure out who it belonged to. It was a PowerShot Elph SD450. SO, he gave me the one he already had and kept the one he found. The one he had was an older PowerShot Elph. Okay, fine. I was just excited to have a digital an this was only about four years ago.

Then he 'lost' the SD450 that he had found on the ground. I was really disturbed by this because he had last seen it in his house. He said he searched everywhere. He was heading out on a vacation though, so he bought a new PowerShot Elph (I do not remember which model).

[As an aside, my ex is actually a very good photographer and used to do all of his own developing. He has a small camera, an Elph, and a very nice bigger Canon digital. He's also Asian. I find endless delightment in this. He was never as amused as I.]

Okay. Back to my story. He loses his camera (I repeat, IN HIS HOUSE); buys a new one; goes on vacation. A while later, he FINDS HIS CAMERA BECAUSE IT WAS IN HIS HOME OFFICE. Apparently under some papers he failed to move when he was searching everywhere. I gave him a lot of grief about this, partially because this was also when we were in the process of breaking up and it really exemplified some of what I could not deal with anymore.

Fast forward ~5 months to my birthday last spring, and even though we had broken up several months earlier, he "got" me a present. I use this term extremely loosely, as he actually just "wrapped" up the camera that he found on the ground, lost, replaced, and refound. It was a newer model than the previous used camera he gave me, but seriously? I had just bought a big memory card and he was acting like he was doing me such a HUGE favor by wrapping up a twice-used camera and giving it to me for my birthday. I got mad and said all of this to him and he did not get it.

"Give your nephew the other camera," he said. I ended up giving him the older camera for him to give to his niece and I kept the newer used one.

Part of me started feeling ungrateful and bad that I had made him upset by being upset about getting another used camera from him. I appreciate the gesture, but as a gift? To someone he claims he still wanted to be with and have children and misses and cares about? A used camera? Again? Is that really all that thoughtful? He could have just given it to me without trying to make it a birthday present if he really just wanted me to have it. My friends assured me I was not being ridiculous.

Now I have my own NEW camera. My Mom said she was glad I could "do that for myself". My response was that it was not really that I "could" do it, but that I "just did" do it, as I was really tired of my hand-me-down that the battery did not quite work in anymore (among other quirks).

I am going to return the twice-used one the next chance I have.

OOOoooo...speaking of which. The ex, who should also be known as an endless supply of fodder, asked if I wanted to go to Rio de Janeiro with him in the next few months. If I could buy my plane ticket, he would take care of the rest. I don't know where he thinks I would get money for a plane ticket to Rio. Here is the email conversation:

Me: Um. No.
Him: but it would be fun!
Me: No, it wouldn't. Do you run these ideas by your friends before you email me? I think you should. At least one of them would tell you not to email me. Listen to that friend.
Him: We don't have to sleep in the same bed. Geez!! I know you want to get to South America... :)

EXACTLY. If I am going to South America, it better be with someone I do want to sleep with?! Geez is right.

Thoughts on a time gone by

I do not have anything very insightful coming to mind. I had paid for the online dating service through the end of January and did not realize it would auto-renew. But it did. So I had it through today.

When I went through the process of canceling the membership, I was brought through several screens asking about my experience. I made sure to put in there that I felt like I was paying for a service I could not fully utilize. All of the men I met in person had initiated communication; all of the men with whom I initiated communication closed the match. Why would I pay to let men have the opportunity to meet me? The whole point was to put in an effort to get out there. I do not, by any means, think I am God's gift to the opposite sex. But I do think that I am pretty, down to earth, intelligent, motivated, etc. Plus I like beer, sports, and cooking. Therefore, I also think that I am just as capable of deciding if a match would work as any guy up with whom I am matched. [I love not ending sentences with prepositions.]

One thing I considered was joining a different site. One of the dates I went on (Restaurant-Owner Guy) commented on the women on the site where he and I met, saying they were a little more nutty. He also said something implying he used three sites. THREE! Who has the kind of time to search around three sites? He owns three restaurants, for crying out loud. Would spending time on three sites really save you the time of going out and meeting people? This is one reason I will not join another site. I have been there, done that, and now need to put in an effort to actually do things. Like grab a drink with friends. Or find something to do outside of school.

I also figure I would just come across the same people. The other big site gives you the option to search for available people in your area. I did this, curious, one day. I came across Mr. Chef, as I mentioned a while back. Life got in the way for he and I. He became closed match #301. On this other site, it said he was active though. I suppose active only means that you have been online. It still makes me not want to go search through a bunch of guys who decided on a different site that it would not work out. Waste of time and money.

So for now I will keep busy with multiple jobs and trying to finish grad school. The multiple jobs are great because they help me almost afford being able to go to the weddings of all of my friends who are getting married. Being in a wedding is expensive. Driving to and staying in a hotel for a wedding are also expensive. So I will work. And maybe meet boys that way.

Anyone curious about the final tally?

3 at some stage of communication (I haven't heard from 2 in long enough that I don't feel I should offer them an explanation. The third, I sent a message saying I was taking a break from the site, but here is my phone number if you would like to meet up.)
26 matches with no activity (but they were too cute to close!)
593 closed matches
Total: 622

Me! Me! Me! (& Lyrics #16)

Alright, I had started another post, but then American Idol is on in the background and Brooke just sang 'You're so vain' and I love that song! And that sorta plays into what I had started writing about, which was the fact that it is really hard to come up with something to write about when you feel crappy. So I apologize for writing about coughing and fevers and being lame for so long. But really, a blog is about its writer. So it is okay if I feel vain for writing about me, myself, and I. That is why I am doing it. Why I am trying to post something every day is still beyond me (I don't know the last time I logged in to the actual Blog365 page), but if I have to force a post, you readers are the ones who suffer.

How 'bout something about someone else (sorta)?

Saturday I went to a baby shower of a friend who is due in less than 3 weeks. I do not work with her any more, so this was the first time she looked pregnant to me. She claimed that it was not until last week that she felt like she got big. I have a hard time believing that. She is so pregnant that she wore a skirt and she NEVER does that.

Now back to me.

This tutoring gig is great - a little extra cash for a grad student. For the next week I am helping with a tutoring program that undergrads do and am supposed to meet with 12 students. I think I vented about this somewhere else earlier this week. I was assigned 12 grad students. Perfect. I am a grad student in a related field so we can connect. EXCEPT, who knew that grad students were such a GIANT PAIN IN THE ASS TO WORK WITH??? They should be logging in to reserve appointments I have posted for when I AM FREE. Not them. Me. Meeting with me is a requirement for their class. I don't care if they work full time and are only available evenings. I like to be home by 7:30. Me. One student addressed me in an email by writing: "Aloha Jenski." Um, what? Aloha? I better find out that he just got back from a Hawaiian vacation. Only half of them handed in their (assigned) draft on time that I am supposed to review before meeting with them. HALF. They are grad students. Why wouldn't you hand in something that is due? To me? ME!

Luckily, all three I met with today were very glad to meet with someone and participated in the session. It is a bioethics assignment to present two sides of an ethical topic objectively, and I think they benefited more from just talking about their ideas out loud. I only met with one guy for 15 minutes, but he seemed genuinely relieved to have talked about it.

The last guy and I talked about his paper for about 40 minutes and then just chatted for the last 20 of the session. The L.D. on him? During our chat, I found out that we are from about an hour apart in VT among other things. He likes coffee (now); I like coffee. I said I was out of the habit of drinking coffee because I had been sick, but I miss the taste and I feel a little guilty for wanting to pick the habit back up. He said that is like him and beer. I said beer is good for you though. Then I stalked him on Facebook and found out a bunch more. Like he brews beer. This is my reward for complaining so much about helping out with this class. I get paid to flirt. My roommate says I have to wait a couple of days if I want to email him. Really? That sounds very stereotypically male.

So that put me in a good mood at the end of the day. ME! Happy! No more talk of the plague.

Stay tuned for reflections on internet dating tomorrow (if I can come up with any good reflections that is).

You walked in to the party, like you were walking on to a yacht.
Your hat strategically dipped below one eye; your scarf it was apricot.
You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself gavotte.
And all the girls dreamed that they'd be your partner....

Where do my lungs think they are going?

I feel like a COMPLETELY new person. I even made it to the gym for an almost normal workout this morning. Very exciting! Tomorrow morning is yoga and that will finish healing me. :)

I still have two or three coughing fits a day though. Totally non-productive no matter what I do. Any great ideas about how to stop coughing? My guess is I just have to wait. I debated about going to the health center and demanding an inhaler today, but I didn't make the time. Dunkin' Donuts was having 99 cent lattes. That was way more important.

I have drank probably close to 4 liters of fluids today. Seriously. Do you know how much that makes you pee?

Funny stuff

Until I have my own a million years from now, I have my niece and nephew for endless entertainment. Case in point.

My Dad was with my then maybe 4-year old nephew, who kept hitting his head and saying, "Oh man!" My Dad says, "Why are you hitting yourself and saying 'Oh man'?" "Grampa, I'm not allowed to say 'Oh Shit'."

Duh.

Niece: Mommy, are you going to throw me like a mashed potato?
My sister's explanation: This was in response to telling her that I was going to "drop you like a hot potato if you tickle me again!"

Nephew to my sister: Oh, Darn it! Oops, I mean, Oh Damn it! Uhh, I mean, uummm, Mommy? Is it "darn it" or "damn it" that I can say?

She's all grown up!

I went to my friend's dissertation defense today. She and I were roommates freshman year in college. She stayed where we did our undergrad to do her PhD. I can not imagine having spent a decade in one place (other than with my parents) at this point in my life. :)

ANYWAY. It was a bright, sunny, and warm day and I now know a little more about what she's been working on.

Congratulations, Carolyn, on getting that thing written and defended!

And the yoga keeps coming

This is info from a regular email list I am on. I think someone is trying to encourage my new slight obsession...

(1) HATHA. In the U.S., most styles tend to fall within this category. There are 3 basic elements in hatha yoga: postures, breathing techniques and meditation techniques. (2) IYENGAR. In this type of yoga, the individual concentrates on the numerous body alignments needed to achieve and hold any one posture. (3) ASTANGA. A rigorous form of yoga, astanga requires continuous movement between postures, without pausing or rest. (4) BIKRAM. A sort of “hothouse” approach to yoga, this type of yoga is practiced in a room with the temperature raised. Bikram involves an extensive series of postures that stretch the muscles in a precise sequence. (The increased room temperature is intended to raise body heat even further, in order to make the muscles warmer and easier to stretch.)

I should do it every day

Last Wednesday was the only day I did not feel like complete and utter crap. No fever that day! Guess how I started the day? Yoga. Hatha yoga is nice and relaxing, but that does not mean it is not challenging! I have been going to Hatha yoga at least on Wednesday mornings, and then also Sunday (for 90 minutes) if I am in town. Granted I am already getting healthier, but after yoga this morning, I feel like my head and lungs cleared a little more. I may even try to go work out tomorrow morning.

I love one of the yoga instructors at the gym I joined. She made a point of learning the names of the regulars, and I think that is a nice touch.

Country music (Lyrics #15)

If asked, I would say that I don't like country music. My brother used to say the same, then a friend and roommate introduced him to "good" country music. Now he listens to it in the car, sings along, and me? I pretend I do not know this about my brother.

One day I got to thinking that I like my brother's taste in music, and if he likes some country music, maybe I should try to listen to it once in a while. [As an aside, I once tried this with NPR because I always feel like smart people listen to NPR. Now I think people who do not like to sing in their cars listen to NPR. It is still programmed in my car but I do not remember the last time I tried to listen to it.]

So I have a country station programmed in my car, and sometimes when I am on a long drive, I will stop on a country station for a couple of songs. Last time I did this, I listened to the lyrics to the first song and thought it was great:

Next day I chased her round the playground
Across the monkey bars, to the merry-go-round
And Emmylou got caught passing me a note
Before the teacher took it, I read what she wrote.

Do you love me, do you wanna be my friend?
And if you do, well then dont be afraid to take me by the hand
If you want to.
I think this is how love goes, check yes or no.

Doesn't that just bring you back to the playground in elementary school?

For all I complain about my advisor, she gives us $15 in some sort of gift card at Christmas time every year. [I like to think it is out of appreciation, not obligation.] A couple of years ago it was to iTunes, only I did not have internet at home at the time (awful, I know), so I just got around to start using it. My first three songs I purchased? Country. Or "country", as a couple of them are definitely played on pop stations. The above and then these two:

You not making up your mind
Is killing me and wasting time
I need so much more than that

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting

I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out

Plus, I can sing all three songs in the car and I love that too.

Lookin' on the bright side

One of my lab mates told me today that I was dealing with this whole illness thing well. This was after I went off about how they were canceling our weekly Friday afternoon seminar because of the snow. If I had known they were going to do that, I wouldn't have started a particular experiment yesterday and would have stayed home. When are they going to reschedule these students for because seminars are already scheduled to June (?!). This is New England, for crying out loud; it snows! Four inches is not. that. much. snow. Can't people just learn to drive in the snow?

And then I apologized for my negative attitude and said I wouldn't take it so badly if I felt completely healthy. I then accepted my fate, stuck it out until when seminar would have started (because that's how I'd planned my day!), and came home.

BUT, it's snowing and I love the snow. It makes everything so quiet. I also enjoy shoveling (I think I have a problem) and did enough to pull my car into the driveway (I'm sick, I probably shouldn't be out shoveling).

AND, because of snow emergencies, the parking garage on campus was open on campus, so I got to park there for free today. Normally I just park on the road, but that would have ended with a very expensive tow at some point during the day!

I have a lot of crap to do in the coming weeks. I am on special assignment for tutoring next week, which essentially means I have to meet with 12 students in less than a week. That is a guaranteed 12 hours out of lab. Not good. Plus only 6 of them handed in rough drafts, so I can't get most of those hours in this weekend as planned. BUT, I do get paid for 12 more hours of tutoring.

SO, with my taxes back and a long week of tutoring, I splurged on a new camera. Ordered the Canon Elph 850 IS this morning and I can't wait until it gets here!

AND, KHC and I are going to have dinner tonight. I just looked up the bus schedule and it is relatively regular, so no driving for me! I may be comfortable driving in the snow; it is the other people about whom I worry!

I totally did not need my advisor playing devil's advocate in our meeting today. Keep in mind, this is the first time we've sat down since before Christmas (I think). She knew I have felt crappy all day, this wasn't supposed to be some big planning meeting, and I had told her that due to the crappiness that was my health this week, I wasn't going to have stuff super organized. BUT, I did get to tell her that I wasn't going to be going to the regional meeting that she had [enter sarcasm] so graciously invited me to. Then she countered with her opinion that the conference I was suggesting to go to instead wasn't really relevant to my project. I think it is just not relevant to her. It is very relevant to my interests!

Oh, yes. The dog went home yesterday. Her owners brought us a thank you gift of chocolate. A mixed package of Ferrerro Rocher and Ghirardelli dark chocolate squares with caramel. YUM!

Quick! Look at the pretty flowers!

As if you wanted to know

I just wanted to invite you all to the pity party. I try not to complain too much at work.

I woke up Monday morning intending to work all day but had a painful chest cough and ultimately stayed home. It was just kinda like: Tada! You have a painful chest cough. I fought a fever off most of that day, but Monday night was not pretty. I was hot; I was cold; I drank too much water and had to pee but was completely off balance; I had a fever; I was sweaty. Yuck. Tuesday morning I felt amazing though! I was so proud of myself for fighting off whatever it was...Until about an hour into the work day. Then the tylenol was the only thing keeping me lucid. But then when I left work at the end of the day I felt much better. [I think I am allergic to work.]

Today, the cough is still pretty bad even with the hot tea, gallons of water, and cough syrup. So I went to the doctor; only I was not coughing or weezing while I was there so she said I am fine. (Well, really she said come back in a week if the cough hasn't gotten better.) I suppose this is good because her immediate reaction to my symptoms was, "It's the flu."

For the record. Not everyone gets the flu when they do not get a flu shot! I am a healthy young adult and do not live in a dorm. Why do I need a flu shot? Save 'em for the older, younger, and dorm dwellers! I have been going to work because I have a presentation in two weeks, so I am glad I did not pass on the flu.

I have been super careful about washing my hands and coughing/sneezing into my sleeve. My four year old niece even does this, but rumor has it that it is not "socially acceptable" yet. [Check out this public service announcement. I laughed. I cried. It became a part of me.]

Anyway. This is all just an excuse for not attempting to come up with anything "good" to write about. But if you come away with anything, it should be: Cough and sneeze into your sleeve where the germs "will dessicate and die". (See above service announcement.)

On a completely unrelated note, the dog we are sitting is definitely warming up. He has now followed me around the apartment a few times on his own! I would almost venture to say he likes me.

A Prophet Soul

I saw this over at Squirl's, which was convenient because I needed some inspiration to post before I head off to tutoring with my fingers crossed that my fever doesn't come back so I can get a good night's sleep...

You Are a Prophet Soul

You are a gentle soul, with good intentions toward everyone. Selfless and kind, you have great faith in people. Sometimes this faith can lead to disappointment in the long run. No matter what, you deal with everything in a calm and balanced way. You are a good interpreter, very sensitive, intuitive, caring, and gentle. Concerned about the world, you are good at predicting people's feelings. A seeker of wisdom, you are a life long learner looking for purpose and meaning. You are a great thinker and communicator, but not necessarily a doer. Souls you are most compatible with: Bright Star Soul and Dreaming Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

Certainly not the leader of the pack

We have a friend's dog, Nick, staying with us this week. He was a rescue dog from somewhere in Virginia and was found with a pack that had two pregnant dogs it it. I'm not sure how he found his way to the Northeast, but I think a lot of digs in areas with high-kill shelters are relocated. He is a very submissive dog, prefers women to men (barely), but is good around other dogs. I guess our friends spent a weekend with other friends and their dog. After that weekend, Nick started responding to his name finally. He does not ask to go out; he does not move from his pillow or the couch when he's in our apartment; when you walk him, he doesn't sniff around and jumps at normal traffic noises; he has not moved to eat or drink (sorta). I put his wet food and water closer to where he is parked himself when he is alone, and the wet food is always gone when I get back. Check out the restraint of this dog:That is a plate of cannoli on the table in the right hand corner and the dog all curled up on the couch. How many dogs are that nervous that they are not tempted by fresh cannoli? How many people can resist the temptation of fresh cannoli?

He is warming up to us though. Last night, my roommate pet him the whole time she was on the couch while we watched 2 hours of TV and he eventually relaxed enough to show his belly...a little. Even though I planned to work today, I'm not feeling spectacular. I decided I would stay home and bond with Nick. I just sat next to him with my soup and toast and he was totally sniffing. I may have bribed him with a piece of chicken from my soup.

Oh, yeah - I have some windows open to get some fresh air in the apartment because it is 60 degrees out today?!

123 Meme

I saw this over at Aurora's. And I'm reading two books, so I had choices. I just picked up Pride and Prejudice again as my nighttime book (Carolyn, don't get any ideas until after your defense). Here are the rules:
1. Pick up the nearest book (of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

Here's my excerpt:

He seldom appeared really animated. Mrs. Collins knew not what to make of him. Colonel Fitzwilliam's occasionally laughing at his stupidity, proved that he was generally different, which her own knowlege of him could not have told her; and as she would have liked to believe this change the effect of love, and the object of that love, her friend Eliza, she set herself seriously to work to find it out.

I think Jane Austen should have used more periods. Luckily, those first two sentences were short!

Um, do the meme if you want. :)

A little piece of randomness...

Sometimes I can be pretty random...Okay, lots of the time I'm pretty random. Yesterday, I was talking to Molly and something about sign language came up. I said (and signed), "This means Jesus, and this means penis head." Both very useful. That was going to be the title of this post, but I didn't want people taking it the wrong way.

SO...

In Sunday school, we learned to sign a song and all I remember is that this means Jesus:A friend of a friend in high school was hearing impaired. From her I learned how to sign "penis head". Just make a "p" and put your middle finger to your nose; then point to your head. Here's a "p", in case you don't remember your ASL alphabet."Cute" is taking your first two fingers and rubbing them on your chin twice.

One time, I was talking about signing with a friend, and she asked how you sign "F - you". I gave her the finger.

Good times

I'm tired. Last night, my friend Molly got into town and we went out for a couple of drinks at a bar where a lot of the undergrads go and I felt old. BUT, we stayed up until 12:30, so that made me feel a little less old. Then I didn't have to get up at 6:00, like I normally do to do to go to the gym. We "slept in" and walked to get a great breakfast before going to a beer fest, where I drank from 1-4:30. It was great fun, see!Then I had dinner with my parents who had also come into town for the beer fest. Then I walked to my friend's place to check on her cat, but couldn't get the door unlocked, so I walked home. Now it's only 7:48 and I'm ready for bed. I didn't drink enough to want to keep drinking and barely kept myself away from the sleepy stage of drinking. I think I will coerce the dog we are dog sitting to go for a little walk and maybe go to bed ridiculously early. I have not been getting the sleep I should. Then I'll be all bushy tailed for yoga and work tomorrow...oh, and I'll have to stop to make sure my friend's cat has food. That would be good.

Oh yeah! This guy I met back in November was volunteering at the beerfest. He's a friend of an old roommate. I am a big frickin' chicken. Even with a couple of beers in me, I didn't go reintroduce myself. I have his phone number in my phone and I joked about calling him while there. When I was coming in, he was handing out cups and I tried to start a small talk conversation, but he didn't seem to recognize me, so I let it go. Oh, well.

I think next beerfest, even if my entire family manages to make it, that I'm going to "make" my other single friend at school go and she and I will distance ourselves from my (wonderful) family and pick up guys. I mean, come on, we're cute and we drink beer?!

Sometimes I go overboard

Last week, I wanted to make brownies. I love any brownie mix, so I usually just do that. I wanted to try something Spark mentioned a while back - crushed up candy cane on brownies. Then one of my friends made a face and asked why I was doing that when walnuts would be much better (he was giving me a hard time). And another friend made a face and asked what was wrong with plain brownies. So I did this:In order, that's pecans (I didn't have walnuts), plain, and candy cane. All were excellent. Another friend said that sometimes I go overboard.

Who knew a cup of coffee can be so heavy?

I'll get to the title in a minute...In the meantime, there's lots o' V-Day talk going around.Maxie asked what the singles out there miss about Valentine's Day. Well, this is a lame picture of a dozen roses the Ex sent me a couple of years ago when we were still together. He always had a meeting over VD, so we usually went out for dinner a few days early (when the restaurants are nice and quiet!) and he sent me roses one year. He definitely got points for that. In general, I just miss having someone with whom to make a point of doing something nice on Feb 14th.

Anyway, this week at the gym has been a killer for my arms. I don't know why, other than the fact that they are ridiculously weak I suppose. Tuesday I used one of the ellipticals with the arm things and actually did the arm part for the full 40 minutes. Wednesday, yoga. Today, it hurt to pick up my coffee. Seriously.

So I'm off to sit on the couch with wine and a heating pad switching between my two arms (to supplement the ibuprofen) and watch something girly.

P.S. I am totally addicted to playing Scrabble on Facebook, but apparently everyone else has plans tonight because no one is taking a move! Oh, well.

Taken out of context (Part 2)

I don't know, but I'm in the mood to laugh at things. Here is Part 1. These are from college and hopefully they are equally funny to non-college friends who stop by here. :)

Jenski (note Polish name): How do you get a Polack to fall out of a tree?
Jer: Wave?
Jenski: Oh, wait! A one-armed Polack.

Jer: Showtunes naturally go with cake.
Boy2: Yeah, in the way that too much makes you want to vomit.

Jenski: I wish I had someone to flirt with!
KHC: He'd flirt with you. He'd flirt with anyone!

Jer: This is sinful.
Molly: No it's not. I know sin.

Dr. J: I kind of like my short hair. It's growing on me!

Oh, man. I just read through more. There will be more to come. SO FUNNY!

Laughing babies

I guess I'm going with a baby theme - blowing in their faces, watching them laugh. These are my favorites from the popular source of movies. Always good for a laugh, to lighten your mood, to better your day, and to remind you how much kids love laughing. This is what we do in my office on a regular basis. Enjoy!




I love the one where he falls over laughing! And the Evil look!

Gasp!

You know when you blow in an infant's face and they gasp?

I love doing that.

That's how I felt when I stepped out of the house to -20 windchill gusts this morning.

This will not stop me from blowing in infant faces. Makes me laugh everytime!

Where to start? Take 1

I think this post will exemplify why I use the name "Where to start?" I am sure it will be rambling, because I am not sure how I am going to start it, where it will end, and when I will continue my mental/emotional vomiting, if you will.

I have some topic ideas for blog posts, but they overlap so much that I really do not know where to start with any of them. Maybe if I post a completely random jumble of stuff, I can just write about "blogerapy" (that's right people, blogerapy), who is responsible for my happiness, and my roommate's fear I will become obsessed with this whole blogging thing, as offshoots to this post.

I went to my Ex's tonight for dinner. He just got a smoker, smoked some meat and nuts, I got to see his closer friends who I have not seen in an extremely long time and meet his roommate of many months. My Ex and his ex-fiancee had many friends in common and agreed to not make anyone chose whose side to be on after they split, but I was never close enough with any of them that this would be a problem. They are all ridiculously smart and know what's going on in the world. I think part of the reason I like them is that they make my Ex seem more normal by association. Anyway. I am not actually writing to complain about The Ex or how weird he is. Just that we can be friends as long as I am okay with saying no. No, I will not stay over. No, not even close to staying over. I just walked out your door; no those are not my sunglasses you have in your kitchen; even if they were, when I came back to get them, I would not stay over. "It's not a bad to do it every once in a blue moon," he says. Oh, so the last blue moon was too long ago, huh?

The reason this frustrates me is that I so wish that I was in a happy stable relationship. I am perfectly capable of being alone and independent. I am usually happy, and pretty much content the rest of the time. When I feel frustrated/sad/upset/down is when I think about the fact that intellectually, I know I am a good person, and I deserve to be with a good person. So why haven't I been able to find The One with whom I click?

I am afraid to open up to "strangers". I have absolutely no problem baring my soul to friends (minus the personal details of course), but it does not come easy to me in relationships. I attribute this to the three "big" relationships I've been in: The High School Boyfriend, The Korean Boyfriend, and The Ex. The High School Boyfriend, well, we were young and he did not challenge me. I think I got bored. The Korean Boyfriend I really believe understood me and we talked about getting married and having children. We met when I was in China. I knew I still wanted to go to graduate school. That was the last "selfish" thing I had to do. I was in no place to consider relocating at the expense of a PhD. We lasted for about four months after I got back. I still think about him. Oh, there was the difficulty of communication due to some language barrier issues and "deep" conversations were less deep out of necessity, so I was used to not being able to communicate everything. Then The Ex, and, well, our relationship was based on about a year of us both claiming we were not looking for anything serious. That may be true, but after a year you would think that we would have realized it was more than "not serious". But we did not. And we were really bad at communicating. He knew I wanted a marriage and a family for myself, and said he did not want that. But we stayed together and continued to be bad at communicating. I think I did not feel comfortable baring all to someone who did not want the same thing. Now he claims he does want that. I still care about him and what happens to him, but it can not work out.

I have a feeling a few readers will feel pain when they read this, but I still think: "What if?" I was actually talking to two of my guy friends the other day and being married came up. I do not remember exactly why I said it, but I pointed out that I could be married to The Ex now if I wanted to. But I do not. Or do I? Did I think, or do I think, that he really wants children now, or does he just miss me that much? I miss him. I think I hold on because I need him to understand why we can not be together; to finally listen to me and see where I am coming from. I wonder if this wondering comes from the familiarity of him and my desire to be settled. I wonder how difficult it would be for my friendships if he and I had stayed together that last time when we got back together after breaking up after getting back together after breaking up.

I recently realized it may not be too bad to be the Single Bridesmaid at my friend's wedding. I should get a sign to hang on my back that says something about, "I'm single and I might get drunk." Do not worry, I do not do things I would not otherwise be willing to do when I have been drinking (famous last words).

I distinctly remember a match writing in their profile that they were not looking for a woman who wanted to be challenged. They wanted someone who already knows who she is. Um, isn't that a cop out if you don't challenge each other? Is that even a relationship? I know who I am, but I hope The One can challenge that in a constructive manner and vice versa. I also know that there are things that have happened in my life that are very potential deal breakers. Without all the details, if The One does not agree with my perspective, he would at least have to truly accept these things for it to work, because down the road he will NOT throw these things back in my face (so says me).

Huh. Blogerapy? I assume therapy is supposed to help you straighten out how you feel and think and maybe help you act on that. My attempts in the past to speak with a professional have left me not feeling any different and I thus lack the desire to find a therapist with whom I connect. For now, I've got me my blogerapy. My happiness? Well, I am perfectly capable of being happy on my own, I just wish I had a partner to be happy with as well. My roommate's fear of a blog obsession? Almost too late? Seriously though, I do not view it as an obsession, but rather a creative-ish outlet that is not science focused. No promise about what happens to this blog if I find The One. Hopefully I can still manage 365 days. ;)

How's that for random stuff?

Being Googleable

I usually find myself very googleable. I just googled "jenski phd blog" and mine doesn't come up, but Danielle's does with a page she wrote two years ago. As a matter of fact, using "jenski" or "jenski97" only gives you random posts from my blog and comments from others. I will have to continue the quest to find myself on google with only my blog information. If any of you can do that, let me know what the word combination is! :)

I used to be able to find myself easily with limited information from online dating. It doesn't appear that this is still the case. I think a couple of schedules and programs that would come up have been taken down.

Perhaps I'm becoming more anonymous?

There's also another jenski97 and a jenski with blogs out there. NONE OF THE MYSPACE STUFF THAT COMES UP IS ME. I just want to make that clear.

Anyone have fun googling themselves or friends or family?

The ups and downs

Yesterday I get all excited about being a kindergarten star.
Yesterday I got a random email that I am going to receive a $100 gift certificate to an expensive restaurant. For real. It's in the mail.
Yesterday I discover the "Who's viewed you tab" (which I think is new???) on the online dating service and a guy from over the summer looked at me. That's right he still wants me. ;) (joking...sorta)

Today, I reach out my window on my way to campus to snap my windshield wiper to clean it off. Have you done this? I do this all the time. Only this time my windshield wipers stopped moving. The motor is still going, so that's good. But this weekend snow is predicted and Sunday I am supposed to drive 2 hours to a wedding shower. There will be no highway driving if I can't get my wipers fixed tomorrow.

Talk about flattery.

My six year old nephew is great. Plus he loves me, so that's great too. I love my niece, don't get me wrong! She's great too. This is them being great together.
This summer, my nephew and I had a sleepover. I don't remember if I wrote about it, but he came over and had a backpack and books to read and his wallet with money to take me out to ice cream. On a piece of paper, my sister had drawn a house with their home phone number and a face with long curly hair (like her hair) with her cell phone number. She was all excited about him feeling all grown up. He woke me up at 5:30 (because that's when he gets up), I tried to have him lay in bed with me and look at his lego books quietly but he wouldn't shut up...I mean, be quiet. Then I let him call home at 7:00 and he woke his family up, then we had breakfast on my porch, then we went blueberry picking. See!
Today, my sister emails to tell me the Tupperware I ordered is in (YAY!). Also, my nephew's kindergarten class has a student of the week thing. They draw a name on Friday and over the weekend the student gets pictures together to bring in to tell people about, fills out a questionnaire and they can bring in a special guest (pet or a person, etc.). My sister and nephew were talking about what he would want to do when his name gets drawn...And he wants me to come in as his special guest! Seriously?! How can I saw no to that??

My nephew has big plans for when he grows up. In the morning, he'll get up early to go hunting. (Earlier than 5:30? I don't know). No one has any idea where his love of the idea of hunting comes from, but anyway. Than in the afternoon, he'll be a scientist like his Aunt Jen.

I'm not sure I can bring in the big adult frogs, but I'll totally start raising tadpoles up in anticipation of my day of glory in kindergarten. Maybe I'll even wear a lab coat.

I'm ready to talk about it now.

Over the weekend, I was at that spinning class and showered at the gym so I wouldn't have to sit in my own filth on the drive home (pleasant, huh?). So I'm drying my hair and using a round brush and one specific hair stands out at me, all shiny. I was thinking to myself, "Nooooooooo. It can't be!" But it was.

The first gray hair I've ever found or had found on my head.

When I got home, I told my roommate she had to help me!

She was all, "What? What do you need me to do?"

I told her the story of drying my hair and seeing the shiny hair. Sure enough, she found it.

This morning I was drying my hair again and saw one. Tonight, my roommate confirmed that there is more than one gray hair on my head, but assured me that they are still at a low and countable number.

I blame the bright lights at the gym for this discovery. My bathroom is way to dark to notice this at home.

Busy as a bee

As the semester rolls on and I have more things to do for my three jobs, I have a feeling posts are going to get a little lame around here. I'll do the best I can! I have some things to write about, but they all require a bit of time trying to write them.

Anyhoo. My three jobs. Somehow, after being ridiculously involved in extracurriculars in high school, and then minimally so in college, I have landed smack-dab in the middle of it all in grad school. I get a lot more accomplished when I am busy, which is great. At the same time, what I am getting accomplished is not all in the lab and related to my research. Each "job" has a lot of benefits though.

Like my thesis work. That's going to get me a PhD!

And being involved in student government has given me a lot of insight into university administration, and makes me very visible on campus. One friend reminds me every so often that I am essentially the grad student representing allllll other grad students on campus to the administration. No pressure. This job also provides a little extra income.

And I am a writing tutor. I taught English in China for a year and love teaching in general, so this has been a great opportunity to get paid more...I mean get more teaching experience. Seriously though. The tutoring program has historically been English grad students primarily, as they hit a point in the PhD program where funding is not available and there are fewer resources anyway. As a science grad student, I do feel a little guilty because I am earning money that a lesser paid grad student could be earning. At the same time, I have experience with writing in the sciences and other students may not. So then I feel less guilty.

K. That's my hectic school life. Off to bed so I can get up for my mid-week yoga class!

I wouldn't want to cheat

The results are in.

POLL: 365 days of blogging, it is cheating if:

I have two ideas and post them both the same day with different dates.	(33%)
I purposefully leave a SHORT story unfinished to give myself something to write the next day.	(0%)
I can't think of anything to write about, so the next day I back date a post.	(100%)
I post a poll and a post saying to vote in my poll, but don't post a post.	(16%)
None of the above.	(0%)

Poll closed

I swear it tastes better than it looks - Take 2

I swear I never thought I would do a Part II on this one! Here's the original though. Apparently I have a thing for brown food this winter.Okay, so I have been making soups on the weekend, but this weekend I was going to be in town for the whole thing, so I wanted to make something a little more time consuming. My Great-Grandmother's baked beans bake for 8 hours. That's pretty time consuming. Really I would run out and do something for a couple of hours, run home, add water, run out, run home, add water...I have a really hard time sitting down and doing nothing. They taste amazing! And now I get to have baked bean sandwiches. Yum. The recipe is in the comments if you have a Saturday you want to spend adding water to baking beans. It's actually a great way to humidify an apartment!

There's always next year

Oh, well. I still like the Patriots. I'm just sad. Did you see the last 5 minutes of the game? Awful. If only...

Can't wait for the "woe is me" New England attitude to permeate the news reports.

There are many reasons, here are a few.

First, my Dad grew up in Massachusetts, so by default I am a fan of New England sports teams. Second, my Mom enjoys watching sports, so growing up, games were always on.

Third, the year after college, I went to teach English in China for a year. I got terribly homesick the first few weeks there. It didn't help that my sister had her first baby (and my first nephew!) less than a week after I left, and I had only been there a few weeks before planes took down the World Trade Center. By the time November rolled around, I was thinking about how I was going to miss Christmas and asked my parents if they would buy me a ticket to come home in January during the intersession. KHC, Molly and I spent Christmas together (thanks, ladies!), then came finals; then I was back in the U.S. for a couple of weeks.

My last weekend before my Dad came back to China with me was Brady's first Superbowl win. I was so happy, that I was looking forward to going back to China for the rest of the school year (and the imminent boyfriend there, but that's probably a good story for another time). So a big Thank You goes out to the Patriots of 2001-2002 for winning the Superbowl that year and making my visit home from China end on a great note.

And good luck to this year's team tonight!

The Biggest Loser

I watched the first two seasons of The Biggest Loser and was amazed by how much they improve their health. Even though I do not currently really worry about my weight, I have tried to be healthier in the past year. This has come with lots of compliments on how I look...and not a pound lost. One person whose dog we have visit regularly didn't even recognize me after about a 4 month period of absence.

If I could exercise and be given healthy food all day for six weeks (or whatever it is on Biggest Loser), I would have the most amazing body?! But, the hardest part of that show is when they go back to their real lives and jobs and have to keep the good habits. Since joining the gym, I go 4 to 5 times a week and feel incredibly guilty if I don't go. I don't necessarily kill myself exercising, but if I get to the gym for an hour, that's not bad.

I think Biggest Loser and the rest of the world could just taking spinning classes every day to get healthy. Not because I am or want to be obsessed with spinning (I've only taken two classes in the past three or four years), but because spinning classes can KICK YOUR BUTT.

KHC and I went to one today. When she first asked if I would be interested in going, I said I had been to a class once and almost died. Her response? "Oh, good! You know how to use the bikes." I think she ignored the part about me almost dying. ;)

I didn't almost die today, but near the end of class, I did decide I wanted to take it easy and cool down. Apparently the instructor didn't think that was acceptable. Five or six people had already left, for crying out loud?! He looked at me and kept repeating, "Kick it out. Push through. Keep going." until I got up in position 3 and sped it up a bit.

For most of the class, he would look around periodically, but he really made a point of making eye contact with me that last time until I shaped up. Of course earlier in the class, I told KHC she was being silly when she thought he kept looking at her when he would say to "Kick it out" or whatever.

Anyway. Spinning? Amazing work out. Better yet, I didn't die. And I will never by special spinning shoes, but I will go to a class again. Off to take another ibuprofen.

The lead-up

In addition to all the talk about how the two Superbowl teams match up, there's also some fun stuff out there. Take "If they weren't Patriots" from the Globe, for instance.

The only one I think is rather dumb is the Randy Moss one. Seriously, the guy is invaluable and they think he could be an underwater archeologist? My boyfriend Tom Brady's is pretty hilarious...and Belichick's is good...and really all of them except Moss's as far as I'm concerned.