Tapped

I was going to title this 'Tapped Out', but I am not quite there yet. In true form I have some work I truly need to finish tonight. I also just had a text conversation with a dear friend about how we need to catch up and said that I was sad over the weekend thinking about how I haven't been able to make time to keep up with friends [waves hi to all those friends out there], but here I am posting something so I can clear my mind and get the work done. You're welcome.

The truth is I do have down time, and it is typically spent hanging out with Bill. I did see a friend and her fiancee over the weekend because she happened to text and Bill and I were going to be walking right by their apartment. I am going on a whirlwind trip to Disney World next weekend and running 13.1 miles in the middle of the trip. Life is not entirely all work and no play.

Work is happening and good and very busy. I find myself talking with a lot of students outside of class, which is great because I think they generally think I am approachable and helpful. My summer research student frequently exclaims how much she loves me and how I always have great advice. I am particularly touched after the college chaplain emailed me with a message from a student I have a good relationship with because that student specifically asked the chaplain to tell me something.

It is a tricky balance when students like interacting with you and you want to know what all of them think and how you can help them but you have classes to prep and research to do. I said to friends at work today that I think I am spending too much time doing that because at the end of the day I have talked with a lot of students and not done much work. I end up at home at 9:00 with a bunch of work to do. I do love the student part of my job, though, and sometimes I think I would be fulfilled by a career in counseling.

Then I get an email from the college chaplain that makes me tear up (the student is/will be fine, but I am just worried), and then I realize counseling and caring about everyone all the time would be too exhausting.

Holy Moly!

It's been a bit of time since I last posted, and this one is sure to disappoint. By all means, you few readers are welcome to let me know what I should be writing about or what you've wondered I've been up to. I've been busy, and life is good. So I'm here to share with you conversations I still have with the Ex about once a year. This is from yesterday/today.

Him: I'll be in your city soon. Want to meet up for dinner??
Me: No thanks.
Him: Boo. Really? {insert FB 'sticker' to indicate frustrated emotion} I respect your decision, but wish we could be friends

[This is not the first time he has said that...and a mere 12 hours later he follows up, so I'm not sure what his version of 'respecting my decision' means.]

Him: BTW, why don't you want to hang out? We've both had significant others since we dated. Doesn't that mean we can be friends now?
Me: I have enough friends and don't need reminders of failed relationships. I've thought about them enough. Why do you keep pushing it every so often over the years when I keep saying no?

[You're all asking yourselves right about now why I'm engaging in this conversation, right? Me too.**]

Him: Okay. I give up. I "keep pushing it" because I want to reconnect with an old friend and hope you've gotten over it now since it's been almost 10 years and you've had other relationship. {insert FB sticker to indicate confused emotion.}
Me: Sure, I've gotten over it and moved on, which is why I'm happy with the friends I have.

And I leave you with that to ponder. We've had this 'conversation' before.

Off to spend the day drinking beer with the guy I'm actually dating, to be followed tomorrow morning with my first running race ever (a 5k on campus) so that I can at least have a race experience once before doing 13.1 miles next month. Ack! I need to come up with a running plan for the next few weeks. I've done 10.4 so I'm not too worried, but would like to do at least a 12 or 13 mile run before then.

[**I do have his phone number blocked so he cannot text me. Not sure if he realizes that or not. He doesn't email. Now every so often he'll send a FB message. Why haven't I unfriended him? Because I don't want the email asking, "Why, Jenski, why?" Although now that I write that, an email would be easier to ignore...]