Distracted with work to do

This weekend was wonderful and awful. I am thankful, grateful, sad, tired, and wondering how to get all the work done that I need to get done. I had grand plans for the weekend, but did not manage to go running (too freakin' cold at my parents' house) or do any commenting/grading on lab reports I have (I forgot I had them...) or work on comments from reviewers on a paper. So, in true Jenski form, I will just spill some randomness to get it out there, so I can focus better.

I am practicing not discussing anything of substance when surrounded by my family. I think that many of you have already discovered the wisdom of this practice. Over the past couple of years I have realized that while people care that you have an opinion, they do not necessarily care what that opinion is and would rather not have you challenge theirs. Your family you are stuck with, so it is best to practice this skill with them. While you choose your friends, it is as if by choosing them you decide it is okay if you have different opinions and therefore it is safe to discuss them.

I do not think I know when my mother things she is being sarcastic or funny. She always sounds judgmental and angry when she comments on things, and then when I try to talk her down she gets actually angry at me. Or maybe she is just judgmental and angry, but she frequently acts exasperated when I comment, so I think she is trying to be funny. I may never know.

My grandmother is quickly going down hill with her late onset Alzheimers. This week my Dad and Uncle are taking her to the home they had all checked out when her mind was working (slightly) better to have lunch and leave her there (and with dementia/Alzheimers patients they do not want you to visit for a few weeks so the person adjusts to their new home). My Dad and I talked quite a bit about the situation, and he knows that this is all more difficult for him (and his brothers) than it is for her, but he is dreading the idea of Christmas. How my Grandmother adapts to living in the home will determine whether the medical staff thinks it is okay to take her out for Christmas. (If she is not adjusting well, they will recommend against it.) Every time I am home, the older generation comments that I will be surprised at how bad my grandmother is, but really I am not. I am prepared to not be able to have a real conversation with her and for her to not remember anything and be confused. I wonder if they are surprised that I am not more upset by it?

Family friends stopped over Friday with their kids, all six of whom they adopted from the foster care system and three of whom I babysat. We usually see them at Christmas, but the dad had been fairly persistent that they stop by while all of us were there. My brother and his wife were in town, and I guess they hadn't met my SIL before. Then the dad died. That night. In the car while his wife was driving. While this was very much sudden and very much completely unexpected, there have been many strange coincidences over the past few weeks leading up to his death. I went in to the hospital with my parents, then we helped get the family and their cars home and waited while the grandmother, two aunts, and nephew drove the four hours in the middle of the night. It was a long night for me, but it will be a very tough holiday season for the Mom and kids. He asked me how life was, I talked with the Mom about teaching, and as they were leaving, he made sure to check in to see if I had a Man in my life. He always asked about that, hence the capital 'M'. When I did have one, he asked about the status of the relationship. In the car, I guess he told his wife I never change (I am pretty sure in a good way!). I am glad they stopped, that I got to say good bye to him, and spend some time with the family. I am hoping and praying the family sticks together and gets through this; a couple of the kids have had rougher lives than others and will not have an easy time dealing with this loss.

Last weekend I got to catch up with some friends from Boston who are atheists. Much of my family no longer practices any religion and no longer has any particular belief and/or also identifies as an atheist. I, to this day, do not know what I believe but in recent years have found and participated in Christian churches with beliefs in various civil rights and investment in public service that I place value in. These values and practices are in secular lives as well, and I think that whether a person is religious or non-religious does not determine their investment in these issues and practices. Both religious and non-religious people are judgmental about the other, which is fairly obvious if you ever are exposed to an ounce of news coverage. See above for my current approach to these topics when with my family. Interestingly, I did not bring up my church attendance with my friends last weekend, mainly because of the meeting they were attending and the people we were surrounded with. Although I did talk about church with the one friend when it was just she and I hanging out, so it may follow my argument above comparing conversations with family and friends.

Boys are boys. My SIL (and my sister who actually reads this) will be disappointed to learn that BIL guy and I just. hung. out. again tonight. And decorated my tree together, because that's what platonic friends do, right? And also I am not willing to put myself out on a limb if there is any possibility of rejection, and I'm okay with that (see previous relationships chronicled on this very blog).

Occasionally I will wonder about the title of my blog, but tonight is one of those times I realize just how fitting it is. Where to start?

Expectations

I keep wanting to write about a lot of different things all in one post with some coherent theme. I have the word 'expectations' stuck in my head for some reason, but I am not really sure how this will bring everything together. Let's see how this goes.

An obvious place to start is with the Red Sox. I love them. They are currently playing what could be the last game of the World Series if they win. I am staying up for the whole game, which they are cruising through right now.

Running. I mentioned that I told my friend I would run a half marathon a year from now. He is running it next weekend. It is in Disney World, at night, and there is a big food and wine party at the finish line. I dislike running, but figure if I am going to do it, it might as well be at the happiest/most magical place on earth. Anyway. I looked up Disney's running training and realized that I do not have to actually run the whole race. This may seem obvious, but I guess that if I do something, I want to DO IT. You have to finish the race in 3 1/2 hours, and I could walk it in that, so I will finish. Now to figure out how fast I will be able to finish it. I have been running a couple of days a week to get in shape, but hope I can take advantage of the year to pull off a somewhat respectable time.

BIL guy and I hang out regularly. I guess I should stop saying they are "non-dates", but it still makes me feel more relaxed about it, and we have actually just been hanging out. He is a nice guy, we always have stuff to talk about, and I just upped my text plan because we text a lot.

There were a couple of Halloween events on campus this week. My department won the costume contests at each, as we went as an ecosystem. I was a deer (as in a primary consumer, a.k.a an herbivore). I was just going to put some antlers on a headband.

Then I decided I would whip up some fleece pants. It was an imperfect sewing project in which I just used a pair of fleece pants I love as a template.

The costume worked out pretty well though - I put a big white circle on my shirt today to round out the costume.

What else? My students have generally been great. (Which I forgot that I just wrote about, but it must be true if I wanted to write about it again.) It may not seem like a college professor would say this, but even at this age I feel like they are my 'kids'. I am sad that a couple of them in particular have dropped the course, but understand why. Others who are failing are driving me crazy because they are not trying enough. One who improved amazingly on her last exam gave me a hug. One who is really smart finally pulled off a passing exam score with a 90 (yay!) and then proceeded to not hand in a lab report. He is driving me crazy?!

I cooked up some squash tonight and decided to roast the delicata squash seeds with no particular expectations of them. They were DELICIOUS. I have not tried the squash yet.

Oh! I also went up to my parents' a few weeks ago. I show up after dark on a Friday night, and my mother informs me that "All the leaves have fallen off the trees already." I seriously went to bed sad thinking that I missed all of Vermont's foliage this year. Good thing my mom is crazy. Exhibit A:

I still cannot set up a key part of my lab, which is hugely frustrating but I know it will happen. The plus side is that I am definitely expected to do research and involve undergraduates (and I am looking forward to it), but teaching is what is REALLY important (and thus teaching in the lab). I have been trying to use my time wisely to plan for next semester and think about grant writing because the lab stuff is dragging out a bit.

I guess I also want to throw out there that I think I am happy. Well, I am happy. Considering my only post in August was about how my life sucked, this is a nice change. ;-) Other little things have happened that are not great, but they are fine. They are life. In August these little things would have been awful. I guess I had enough time to feel sorry for myself back then, and now I can roll with the punches. Keep it up, Life!

Greatly loved

I am doing many things that feel like procrastination, but really I am clearing my head so I can focus and get more writing done. (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.) The good news is that I should get word that my research paper is accepted for publication soon, the bad news is my boss and I are writing a review of our research topic that is due in July. Yesterday friends came over and we did work together, took a ride on my neighbor's boat, did some more work, then they forced me to watch the first two episodes of Downton Abbey. More bad news, because now I have to keep watching! But this was the sunset.

Also just called my Dad and checked that off the list on this Father's Day. Only whenever I talk to my parents, and I make an observation about their choices, they take it personally and get all worked up. Really I just want to hear my Dad sound grateful for the fact that he can collect unemployment instead of thinking the system is messed up, that he shouldn't be able to collect unemployment, and yet he is anyway because he can. And then joking that you wish Obama could be reelected when Obama isn't the one who came up with the idea of unemployment benefits isn't funny either. Really I just want my Mom to ask my Dad to go walking with her so he has the option open all the time instead of assuming he never will. "We'll walk together when we retire." To which I responded, "Why wait until you retire?" I should have added, "What if one of you dies before then? That's lost time."

But back to the idea of being loved that I meant to write about. I find myself becoming emotional in funny situations recently. The interim pastor at my church is a very friendly outgoing person who has lots of stories to tell thanks to his many past interim positions. His first week, at the end of the service, he explained that he always ends services by telling those gathered one specific thing:

Go out into the world knowing this, that you are Greatly loved.

I have teared up both times I have heard him say it. It occurred to me today that while I know my family and friends love me, knowing it is an intellectual thing. Living alone and not being in a relationship or having my own immediate family means that I am not reminded on a daily basis that I am loved. It really is important to tell the people you love that you love them. This is not a plea for y'all to email me or call me, either. :-) There are things that remind me that I am loved. I know my kitty loves me!

[back story] I did get a good smile and hi from VM today. I was already thinking about all the things I had to do when RM asked me if I wanted to feel his shaved head (courtesy of the church school because they reached a goal for their mission project), so it ended up awkward instead of funny. I was asked if I would want to lead a week of Sunday school this summer, so I am checking with VM's SIL to see if she wants to do it with me. Why not? :-) My boss bringing up a going away party for me and making a sad face when she did. Time spent with my friends yesterday who are so funny about becoming parents, and amazed at how much I know without having my own child, and being good enough friends that the mom-to-be shares her long leg hairs with me (long story). AND my aunt just FB messaged me, so that is funny. Nice moments like that are reminders that you are loved, but still not the same as hearing someone tell you what you mean to them.

I also have this strong sense of belonging to everything and being a part of everything that often makes me want to just sit and be. That sounds all very 60s and hippie, but pretty much when I watch the sunsets on the lake I am not thinking of anything and am truly just amazed at how beautiful it is. It is overwhelming (in a positive way, but not in a get-your-work-done kind of way) when you have the time to think of these things. Maybe not as overwhelming as cleaning up puke on your birthday, but still. ;-)

These words get at just this feeling, and I love them. I will often listen to the song on repeat when it comes up in the car.

I know a please a thank you and a smile will take me far,
I know that I am you and you are me and we are one,
I know that who I am is numbered in each grain of sand,
I know that I've been blessed again, and over again.

~ Originally by Keali'i Reichel , Cover by Sweet Honey in the Rock that I have

I learned this song from a mix made by one of my college roommates. Senior year, one of my roommates had the awesome idea that we should all put together mixes, she would burn the CDs, and we would have a mix of music from each of us. (I think we are still missing two???)

Whirlwind

I am pretty sure the last two weeks have taken about a month to get through. I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed tonight after 10 days on the road, but alas. The travel goddesses caught up with me, and I am spending another night at a hotel in VA. Although, US Airways gave me a voucher with no hassle for a nice Hilton, so I cannot complain too much. My cat might have a different opinion after being alone for so long (with my neighbor checking on her).

Last time I posted was a bit on the depressing side. I definitely got myself worked up for nothing, and would have better spent the emotional energy in some other manner. My grandfather's visiting hours and funeral were sad and nice. My Mom is from a small town, and a lot of the relatives still live there. In fact, my grandfather's spouse's relative commented that she did not realize my grandfather had so many relatives. I caught up with a cousin who I had not seen in years, which was great. I had found his sister and another cousin on FB, and he friended me after we talked for a while.

So...I started this post a while ago and then got distracted with Cupcake Wars...and I need to get up in a few hours for my ridiculously early flight...So, here are some photos. Proof that I was off doing things like a bridal shower...

 

...and a trip to where I will be starting a job this summer...

 

  

...and a meeting near Colonial Williamsburg...

Okay, so none of those pictures *PROVE* anything. You'll just have to trust me that they are what I say they are. :-)

Last one standing

My Mother's immediate blood line now only goes down to her kids. Her brother passed away in November, and her father passed away Thursday night. She has lots of cousins, but she is the last one of the immediate family in which she grew up. It is difficult to explain, or even figure out, how I feel about this. It is a surprisingly complicated situation. The woman who previously I referred to as his girlfriend became his wife. Ironically, at the end of a post venting about the situation, I finished with "I seriously feel like I just lost my grandfather." This is some random rambling about the whole family thing as I try to do a million things and squeeze in my grandfather's funeral.

My Mom's brother was one of a few alcoholics in that generation of cousins. As far as I remember or know, my uncle was the one who was never a recovering alcoholic for very long. He was arrested a long time ago, I think because he was drunk and disorderly and then pulled a knife on the cop who was handling the situation. Then he skipped bail, headed to the West Coast, and never came back East.

My brother lived in the same city where our uncle was, but I think my Mom did not want our uncle knowing my brother lived there and then showing up on my brother's door step. If he ever started AA, he never got to the apologizing step, and my Mom did not have the emotional stores to reach out or make amends of any sort. I think she held on to bitterness that he was the prodigal son type. Their parents sent him money. Stored his stuff. Always wanted to him to come back. They never seemed to show the same caring towards her in her eyes. A recent sermon by the pastor at my church gave me great perspective on the prodigal son story, and I shared it (and a link to the service so she could hear the sermon) with my Mom. The take home message: The prodigal son story is one of mercy. Her parents loved her just as much, but even though her brother was delinquent, that does not erase the joy they would have had at his homecoming. I think the important realization I hope she can get to is that their actions were not committed to hurt her, but purely an aspect of their relationship with their lost son. Now he is gone, and we know he had a woman in his life. I know my mother will look into his passing to know that he was not alone and to know why he died.

She was sad about her brother passing, although they only communicated every several-several years. At Christmas I told her that it makes perfect sense that she would be sad - She no longer had that feeling of her brother being out there. Maybe she always hoped they could have some heart-to-heart about how he left her to deal with their aging parents. Or how much she hurt that she felt in their parents eyes he could do no wrong and she could do no right. I don't know.

A week ago, my Mom found out that her father was on comfort care only, so it was only a matter of days before he passed. She and my Dad had HORRIBLE colds, or she maybe would have thought about considering to try to maybe visit him. Because my sister will be taking a vacation, she had decided to visit him assuming she would be out of the country for his funeral. Then we found out he had passed. This comes at a time when I have a trip planned starting Friday, my sister and her family have a trip to Spain starting Thursday, and my brother and his wife live across the country and JUST went back to my parents two weeks ago. As my Mom said, "Work, time, money, and plans all work against us, don't they?"

In reality, I do not feel any of us 'owed' him a visit. We grandkids tried a few times to keep in contact with him, even when my mother had enough (but before he brought legal proceedings against her). Yet I would regret it if I did not have any closing contact, be it a visit even if he was not conscious or his funeral. I think we lost the man we knew about 3 years ago, but at least I never mourned that loss. In fact, after the post I linked to above (or maybe it was before I got that letter), I visited him, had lunch with he and the woman, and when it was just he and I he brought up my mother mis-managing his money. I did not hesitate to challenge him on this and tell him it was his responsibility to speak with my mother about this. When I left, I went to my grandmother's grave and asked her how she could let him do this to the family. Why was she not coming to him in his dreams or something. My Mom also found out (thanks to it being a small town and her cousins being there) that when he made friends at a care home, his "caring wife" moved him to a new one. To us it was clear that she was isolating him and trying to get as much of his money as possible, and he thought she loved him. My mother made an anonymous report to the state for elderly abuse (she was no longer communicating with him and did not want her name associated with it); she later found out that a care giver where he was staying also filed a report.

Even though we all felt we had lost him already, it is still different now that he is gone. This morning at church, I had to stop myself from crying when I thought about leaving the church after his funeral and his casket being carried out. I have been trying to get a few experiments done in lab this weekend so that it would be easier to travel to his funeral. I was in lab until after 10 pm on a Saturday night and the two experiments I did did not work. Then I tried to call CF to *finally* *officially* confirm that we are no longer in a relationship (long story for a different post), and he did not answer. So I cried on the way home and then went to bed immediately.

I have played over in my head how to interact with my grandfather's "wife", if necessary, in order to make it clear that I really do not care about her and she is not our family, without being a total bitch. At the visiting hours, will we make our own little circle in the back? Will my Mom *really* want to stand with the woman and greet people? On the other hand I look forward to seeing the extended family. My Mom was the little blond cousin growing up, or at least that is how I always pictured it when I see she and her grown male cousins together. I love that they act like big brothers, harassing her over the years and more recently giving her updates on her father when it was important. I know they will give her big hugs and make her laugh.

Who knows. Thoughts, prayers, strength, or suggestions on how to be rude politely are all welcome.

Thank offering

One of the groups at church passes out little Thanksoffering boxes that are collected around Thanksgiving. You are supposed to put money in every time you are thankful for something during the fall months, and I believe they are returned on stewardship Sunday. I had put change in it here and there.

My parents came to visit for the weekend, and my Dad emptied his change into it. Seemed appropriate - we visited a museum, an art/craft fall fair, a couple of small towns in the area, a great restaurant, and hung out.

I just emptied my wallet into it yesterday. It was again appropriate. I went to NYC and got to see lots of friends and eat good food and they all humored me and did touristy things. I miss them all and was very thankful to see them.

If I had change I would put some more in there this evening for time spent with my confirmation mentee. She is two weeks shy of 14 years old, a cross country athlete, and full of energy. I think the next time we meet, I will have a coffee before so I can be more her speed. I think I used the word 'like' enough though. Her Mom, like, made us chocolate chip cookies and lemonade. No joke.

Other things that I have had fun with? I have enjoyed my smart phone. I am slowly being less obsessed with checking it all the time. Angry Birds has been bad for my productivity. I took some photos and used Instagram while in NYC at Brooklyn Brewery...

...and a random building near where we had Sunday brunch. The sky was blue; the building had cool masonry, and the clock had no hands.

All at once now.

October is packed full for me this year!

I have 10 job applications in so far, and 6 to 8 to go. I have my first phone interview on Friday! CF came to visit. My parents came to visit. I go to NYC this weekend to see friends. I got a new beautiful phone in amber brown that I will activate tomorrow; this phone is likely smarter than I. I accidentally got a white cover for it, so I will have to wait until it tears or stains and get a better color. I have been exercising only a couple of days a week, but when I do I am tired. Climbing = fun and difficult. Jogging = boring and tiring. I am getting my butt back to the research bench, and anxiously waiting for a co-author to email me back, after 3 weeks and a reminder email, so I can submit my research paper that has been finished for a while.

2 Weeks Ago...

2 weeks ago I finished another MS Challenge Walk. I think it was by far my most successful, as far as my legs go. I would link to old posts about walking and the Walk, but I am procrastinating on work right now as it is. You will have to trust me that this was my NINTH year. Next year will be my TENTH (that was some fast math). I have decided that my best secret to training is to freak out that I will not train enough and will be in pain, because that is how I trained this year. I was probably walking 3 to 4 times a week, and 5 to 9 miles each time. My Mom did not train as much as she did her first year she was a walker and did all 50 miles. This year I think she walked about 34 miles...at 2.5 miles an hour.

I walk for my Mom, who was diagnosed with MS something like 30 years ago. I would feel guilty about leaving her to walk alone, and frequently check myself if I get snippy when I do walk with her. The lady is getting severely crazy, like I think she would win the prize for the craziest "normal" mother. Luckily, it is mostly in a harmless way. She did kiss someone at the walk though, which made me really uncomfortable (not like kiss-kiss, but more like she should have just stuck with a hug kiss), and tends to overshare things that make people uncomfortable. All of this to say that she walks SLOW anyway. So on Day 2 of the walk, I told her I could not walk that pace after lunch. She was going to skip ahead to miss the hilly parts due to her knees and blisters. She skipped 6 or 7 miles, to walk the last 4 or 5, and I almost caught up to her. I was probably walking twice her speed. I did 3 miles in less than 45 minutes. I told her it was because I had warmed up for 4 hours that morning walking with her. Hahaha. Sadly, my sister has managed to hurt both of her feet in the past couple of months on the little league field and on a worm in her garage. She walked on the last day to get on the course a bit, and it was nice to have the Mom buffer.

My nephew will be old enough to walk next year, so we finally created a team because it helps with fundraising. When I was walking to meet up with my Mom and my sister, I thought our name should have 'numb' in it. We realized that one reason my Mom gets such bad blisters is because she has reduced feeling in her feet so they get bad before she realizes she has them. We decided our team name should, therefore, be 'Comfortably Numb'. It comes with its own theme song, which two of my favorite female artists have covered.

I do not take many pictures on the Walk anymore, but a couple I did take....

That yellow ribbon has been there long enough for the ivy to grow over it. It reminded me of when SO MANY PEOPLE put yellow ribbons up for the troops during, I think, the first Iraq war.

The road is sometimes quiet.

A noteworthy flower along the way. Mostly noteworthy because it is fall and past the season for a lot of flowers.

Long-stemmed roses CF sent that were waiting for me when I got back to lab after the walk.

Fingers crossed

I have all these *things* swimming around in my head. While I should be finishing up revisions of a research manuscript, I want to just write these down so I can let them go (for now). After the manuscript, it is on to job applications this weekend. That makes me think about life, and what I want out of it. If the job search goes well, I will be moving next summer. That is crazy and exciting.

A while back I was reflecting on why the holidays were difficult for me last year.  Those things are all still true. I spend a lot more time thinking about them than I should. The funny thing is, that every time one of my good friends has a baby, gets married, or gets engaged, I am not sad at all. I am excited. And happy. And wish I lived closer to them. In fact, after my trip back to Boston this summer, my friend/the grad student in the lab told me he thought I had gotten funnier. I think I just happened to be happier than I usually am after seeing so many people who I miss! Oddly, when people I am not close with, or with whom I was once closer, I get sad when any of these things happen. Give me a while, and I can let it go.

What I am having more difficult containing is hope. This sounds silly. Who tries to contain hope? When I think about getting my next job though, I hope that life will finally click. There are quite a few jobs that fit my area of research quite well. They range from small liberal arts colleges to larger universities. A couple of them are larger schools than I *think* I want, but you never know until you get a chance to visit them. Many (maybe I am up to 10 on the list) are from D.C. to Boston. This is prime friend and family land. 10 may not sound like many, but when I was watching the job listings last year, the ones to which I applied were not good research/interest fits. I think this is promising. My CV is better than last round, particularly if I get this paper submitted the end of the month. I have hope that one of these will work out.

I have basically decided that when I get a job, I will get a car. Mine is dying a slow death, but I have a hard time thinking about taking on a car loan right now. The engine seems great, it is all the other extras, like the air conditioning, that make me worried something else is going on. Much to my sister's chagrin, at the moment that ugly Prius is high on the list. I have hope that I can get a great hybrid car. If I get a job at some of these schools, I may need an AWD vehicle though.

I am reaching with the submission of this paper to a high impact journal. Nothing related to this aspect of my research topic has been published, so the story our data make is that much more exciting. The grad student's project that we have always planned to include is starting to work, and that will make this journal less of a reach. He works hard and has been working A LOT to get it done. I have hope that he can get it done, and this journal will like the story.

Maybe this weekend I will give y'all an update on what I have actually been *doing* if you are interested. Off to uncross my fingers and get those manuscript revisions done.

Fast and easy...in the kitchen...

...That's what she said.

Some people may be disappointed by the ACTUAL topic of this post: Food. Recipes.

Cooking is a good sign of my mental state, I think. It means I spend some time being creative in the kitchen (again, purely in a preparing-food-sort of way). It means I do not feel pressure of trying to get something done. When I feel pressure to get something done, I usually procrastinate by cleaning/laundry (as can be seen in this previous check list). But thanks to finishing a draft of my manuscript, I can spend some time in the kitchen!

Without further ado, I bring you 'Fast AND Easy' first.

This was brilliantly inspired for by my sister. Even though her kids will DEVOUR sushi and raw shell fish, they are surprisingly picky about every-day food. This, they were happy to eat.

Ramen makes a good base for dinner. In college, I would add in some broccoli when the Ramen was cooking, then add the flavor packet and cooked chicken to the drained noodles & broccoli. I can tell you that this suped-up version is way better than that.

Fast and Easy Ramen - 10 minutes, From the kitchen of Jenski's sister
(Scale up as needed)
Ingredients: Eggs, Ramen, premade coleslaw (or broccoli slaw!) mix
Whisk an egg
Cook Ramen per package instructions
After noodles cook 3 minutes, coax them aside and stir continuously as you add egg(s).
Add a handful of coleslaw mix from the grocery store and as much of the flavor packet as you would like.
Vary as needed/desired.
Serve up your egg noodle soup!

I had a red pepper that needs to be eaten, so I added some of that. I used half a flavor packet and added a couple spoonfuls of curry sauce, and only an egg white because I had eggs for breakfast. When my sister and her kids were here, we also added some sriracha to spice it up. The permutations are endless and easy!

                                               
Second, I bring you 'Easy'. I could add 'Healthy' to that too. The reasons I made this were three-fold:
1.) I have searched out tomatoes in a jar to no avail where I live. Sure, tomatoes come in a can. You know what else comes in canned tomatoes? BPA*. I am happy to have my own source of tomatoes with less BPA.
2.) My town has a pathetic excuse for a farmer's market. The man who tries to get vendors has a smoothie truck there every week. They FINALLY have other food and products, but he is the one manning the veggies for the farmers still! Because I had commented a couple of weeks in a row on the FB page, I felt I needed to go. Well I did. And then bought organic tomatoes for $12/pound. I appreciate fewer chemicals. I do not have an income that allows for costly tomatoes, no matter how delicious or chemical free. Therefore, the tomatoes must go to GOOOOOOOD use.
3.) Ridiculously easy tomato sauce in your crockpot.

Before

 After

My variations on Bean's recipe were few.

Crockpot tomato sauce
Chopped onions
Chopped tomatoes
Pressed garlic
Dried oregano (~1 tsp)
Dried basil (~1 tsp)
Dried thyme (~1/2 tsp)
Salt
Pepper
Sugar (~1 Tbsp, or I added agave syrup)
And I added some chopped carrot and olive oil too.

Mix. Cook on low in crock pot for 8 to 12 hours. I then blended it (which you probably would not need to do if you peeled the tomatoes). Blending it would probably let you hide other veggies in the sauce too though (more carrots than I added, pepper, a little squash...).

Made me wish I had a submersion blender. Then I put the sauce in glass jars with space at the top and stuck them in the freezer. If my sister-in-law and I lived closer together, I would have recruited her canning expertise.

FYI, SIL, At some point I envision a massive canning experience:
Make something in the crock pot overnight. Can in the morning. Set up the crock pot with something else. Can stuff like pickles throughout the day. Can the crock pot recipe #2 at night.

What else did I do between the end of work yesterday and lounging on my couch tonight? Walked 5.5 miles two times, tried indoor rock climbing for the first time, read a National Geographic, made the above recipes, ran some errands, and photographed the sunset. Again.

* If you have not heard of BPA, it is something used in plastics. It is also in those white cavity fillings and receipts. I could write a whole bunch about BPA. I did research on it before I started grad school, and can tell you that prenatal exposure affects mammary gland and neuro-endocrine development (otherwise known as boobs and brains). YOUR exposure to BPA can affect you, your children, and your grandchildren. I figure if I can minimize my exposure, might as well!

Out and around

Groundhogs at the zoo. They are adorable.

Butterfly garden at the zoo.

A Great Blue Heron chillin' and reflectin' in the lake.

Can you see the heron's prints going across this picture? Its prints were huge!

My nephew put on a cooking show, complete with accent, on my porch when they visited. My niece assisted in making a pesto with various leaves and flowers from my garden. We even ate some.

 Found a bug emerging in my garden.

Out on a walk, I came across this fence.

On the road

I attempted to write an actual blog post, but cannot figure out what in my head I want to write about. Instead, I will give you pictures. I was just back East for 10 days (well, one day of driving on each side in a car with no AC, but whatever). I fit a fair amount of stuff in, but did not take many pictures.

I went back when I did because I had friends getting married. It was outdoors and lovely. Her dress was beautiful, as wedding dresses tend to be, and the hydrangeas were in full bloom.

I saw lots of sail boats.

Boats that apparently do not have room for a dinghy, so they have a helicopter pad on top instead.

Oh! More sail boats!

The Boston skyline from afar. (Also saw it from up close, but then it is harder to capture.)

I saw nice sunset while walking to the subway when my friend and I were on our way to her friend's roof-top Friday night happy hour overlooking the Charles River. The 'Do Not Enter' signs really make this picture, I think.

And the morning after a night out? A long drive home. At the beginning, I was thinking about how much more I like the scenery along the Mass Pike than along the highways in the northern Midwest. This picture is not the best example, but there are mountains and vistas!

I stopped and visited my grandmother (and uncle) and then hit the road again.

 At one point, I was in two countries at the same time. Crazy! Spark, I think I could see Toronto from there.

 And then the sun set.

 And unfortunately, the crescent moon does not photograph so easily when you are driving 110 km/hr.

And then there were two times when I thought I should not be driving, but I was SO CLOSE to home, so I rolled the windows down more and turned the radio up and made it home fine. My cat was so happy, her whole chin was wet with drool. It was a long 16-hour trek home.

T-Shirt quilt, Part 1

I do not know how many parts this project will take, but you will be lucky enough to read about all of them. :-) I have done the New England MS Challenge Walk 8 of the 10 years they have organized it. I get a t-shirt for training and a t-shirt on the last day. I do not wear this many t-shirts often enough to keep letting them take up drawer space, and thought a while back that I could make them into a quilt. After talking about it for a while and getting some quilting supplies for Christmas, I finally started the quilt. I figured I should document the step-by-step because I told my Mom I would make one for her if mine ends up looking good! Plus I can fix the mistakes I have made if I do another.

[Just skip to the last picture if you want to see how far I have gotten but do not care so much about the process.]

An initial search on the internet and Pin-terest provided good guidelines of co-opting stretchy t-shirts for quilts. I planned my own layout because the t-shirts have different sized designs, but am an organized person so went with nice columns. The approximate final measurements of my quilt should be about 24" x 51". I think that might be a small lap quilt? I can still play with the measurements by changing the pieces in between the blocks.

ANYHOO, here is the step-by-step to date.

Last weekend I took my sewing machine out of its box and put all my supplies on the table next to it. I have a new cutting mat, ruler, and rotary cutter. I have been unable to find my good metal sewing scissors, but luckily still have the mediocre orange-handled pair. This is not important to know at all, but I am including the details anyway. I mean, this was step one - unpacking my sewing machine!

Second step was to decide how I wanted the t-shirts organized. I measured all the designs and put little pieces of paper on them so I could figure out how they would fit in two columns. I ended up with chronological order, as if you were reading a book, row by row.

I planned on equal column widths and different heights for each t-shirt.

On to the cutting. When it comes to sewing, cutting is the part I like the LEAST. If you make a mistake, it is possible that it is not fixable. With the t-shirts, you have to remove the sleeves and backs. This is the first t-shirt I did, and figured out the most efficient way to get them cut after this.

The t-shirts did not have any side seams, and the left sleeves have 'ALUMNI' printed on them. So I first removed the left sleeve to use later, then just cut the front off the rest of the shirt, leaving the neck, back, and right sleeve attached - less cutting! I made little white lines on the shirt to help with the cutting.

VERY IMPORTANT: I planned for a 0.5" seam allowance on all sides by adding an inch to each measurement on the little piece of paper you can see in the picture below before cutting so I had the correct numbers in my head. Ironically, this first t-shirt I did that I was super careful about was the only one I cut incorrectly.

After this first shirt, I did the the top cut first, then used the cutting ruler and the lines on the mat to make the process more efficient. That little pile o' fabric under the table grew with each t-shirt. :-)

Because t-shirt material stretches, you need to use fusible backing so that the fabric sews evenly and the final product is sturdier. After cutting all the t-shirts into blocks, I had all the final measurements and cut pieces of fusible backing/interfacing the same sizes.  I did not really want to plan out the entire quilt before buying any fusible backing, and luckily Jo-Anns has these small 10 yard bolts of lightweight fusible interfacing!

This was super easy to cut with the rotary cutter. Next step was ironing all these pieces together. The bolts of interfacing do not come with directions, my 4-H years ended 14 years ago, so thank goodness for the internets. I put the t-shirt pieces face down on the ironing board, the bumpy side of the interfacing down on top of that, then a thing cloth napkin, sprayed that with water, and ironed with a HOT iron pressing down and moving the iron from spot to spot without rubbing. When it comes to applying interfacing, rubbing is bad.

Okay, so the columns were supposed to be 14 inches wide, so the pieces were cut 15 inches wide for the two side-seam allowances. Apparently that first t-shirt with the big 3 on it was cut to be 2 inches short. Then I mis-cut an "ALUMNI" sleeve that I was going to use to fix it, so I had to cut a different sleeve to make up for it (see photo below). :-(

I was going to put the "ALUMNI"s between the designs, but have two fewer now after a couple of mistakes. I think I may just use random pieces of blue t-shirt to fill in all those strips.

At the MS Walk, there are red (or orange) colored shirts for people who have MS and are comfortable disclosing that. The other walkers get blue shirts. I plan to use a red/orange/pink fleece to do the backing and not fill the quilt. Figuring I make one for my Mom, I will probably do the reverse - red and orange top with a blue backing.

This pretty much covers the necessary steps, I think, to prep t-shirt material. I will probably post again when I decide how to fill in the spaces and put the top together.