A quickie*

I went from thinking my life was boring, to being a little more busy than I wanted, to I think settling in to a good level of busy.

On one hand, Romeo is a great reason to stay productive and free up my free time. On the other hand, he's had car issues, and we haven't seen each other since the weekend. Yes, I do own a car that I drive. We will need to discuss his reluctance to have me over...not sure if it's the area of the city he lives in, the fact that he has a roommate (his cousin), or what, but dude, (pseudo-TMI warning) a girl can't go from seeing you and non-quickie time together (vague but you get it???) several times a week to this many days off?!

The Ex texts me today that he misses my nose ring, to which I responded that that's weird because it's still there. Turns out he misses my face, is drinking at the bar, just filed for legal separation from his wife, and wants to get back together. Whaaaat. Sorry, yo. I'm working on something better with someone who regularly tells me that he wants to spend time with me, I'm great (and he's great), and is a little more grounded than you. Almost 10 years post-break-up, good to know I still have a back-up plan if Romeo doesn't work out. {insert eye rolling}

Work has its great parts and its frustrating parts. I'm trying to distance myself from much of the work socializing because it is largely complaining and gossiping and not relaxing at all. Several times I have opted for a quick lunch and a walk in the sun instead. My colleagues certainly notice, but I put in enough socializing time to largely be "excused", in the sense of still being perceived as part of the team (I think). Many of the students seek out my advice, which is great and flattering. Unfortunately they aren't my official advisees and I don't get "credit" for that time. Yesterday I spent between 60 and 90 minutes advising students who are not my advisees. That adds up. A lot. I need to speak to my chair about getting these students assigned to me so that I get "credit" for it. Good news is, the students generally love me. Not sure if it is because they perceive me as "younger" or that I am just better at this part of being a professor than some of my colleagues.

*No pun intended. This is intended to be a quickie post for my fans**.

**If I still have fans after my posting hiatus. ;-)

When one door closes another opens

Out on the porch the fly strip is
Waving like a flag in the wind
You know I really don't look forward
To seeing you again
You look like a photograph of yourself
Taken from far far away
And I won't know what to do
And I won't know what to say
Except fuck you

~Ani DiFranco

So tonight I saw the ex of long ago to whom I sent a text about a month ago. He emailed me less than a week ago saying he would be in town today and his friend was also here for a conference. So he wanted to take us out to dinner. And could he stay at my place. Two bottles of wine and wonderful dinner later, he decided to stay at the hotel with his friend.

After being so insistent about staying here (and my insistence that he tell his wife where he was staying...), it was strange. I would like to believe that after dinner (which involved me sending a few texts to Romeo), reference to the World Series winning game he let me watch alone in 2004 (which apparently he still feels super guilty about even though I was laughing about it), and his friend suggesting a couple of times that he stay at the hotel made him *finally* realize he needs to let us go? A slightly longish hug good-bye and his melancholy face suggested that may be the case.

A pretty big part of me wants to know why he changed his mind about staying at my place.

The other pretty big part just keeps thinking about Romeo and having this work out with him. Seriously. If there is any relationship I need to move on from still, it would be with CF, but this experience tonight with the ex-ex(-ex, if you count Bill now!) made me feel pretty strongly that even though I don't know Romeo that well (but I do know his last name now!!), I have this feeling that even if we don't agree on something I think we could talk about it and come to some agreement, or that our middle-children Aries personalities are enough alike and understanding of each other that strong opinions would not cause actual arguments. There is just something. And I just keep fending off thoughts that somehow I have invested too much hope in it all.

Recuperating

This week marked my first illness-related absence from my current job.

I went for a run after work on Monday, given the lovely spring weather here. My GPS and my foot were both messed up, so I kept it short. I headed home, made plans to make dinner and feed Birthday Twin (hereafter known as BT*?), then promptly puked three times after I started making dinner. Luckily BT hadn't made it to far in the car, and I could tell him to turn around. (Sadly, this has ended up meaning we have not seen each other all week, and I can tell you that is a real shame.) I finished making dinner, put it in the fridge, and passed out on the couch for 2 hours. Then woke up and went to bed. THEN (because I know you're enjoying the play-by-play), I stayed home yesterday with a fever that went down mid-afternoon. On one hand, I've said multiple times I wish I would get sick and have a reason to cancel class. On the other hand, I didn't have any classes to teach yesterday, so it was a waste of a "sick day" (not that I have some set number of sick days...I think...).

My recuperation consisted of getting up normal time for work, emailing a couple of people that I was sick and not coming in, then watching the series finale of Downton Abbey. Its ending made me pleased and was essentially what I was hoping. Then I slept on the couch for a couple of hours.

I ran in to work to get work, since I figured I would still need to prep class. I stopped and got some raspberry sherbert on the way home, because nothing says childhood fever to me like some raspberry sherbert. I seriously think that was the magic that made my fever go down over the afternoon. I managed to prep a bit for class and finish grading some exams! Then I went to bed at 9:00.

Factors contributing to my recovery from the weird <24 event:="" flu-like="" hour="" p="">

• Downton Abbey!
• ~20 hours of sleep in ~36 hour period.
• Only puking those initial times and not continuing. I hate throwing up.
• 2 advil.
• One of my favorite students (who are we kidding? we all have favorites...) earning 100% on the exam I was grading. This was 11 points above the next highest test! She was beside herself today. It was amazing.
• I got my impact score back from a research proposal I submitted in the fall. It is in the solid "excellent" range. I don't want to get too hopeful, but cross your fingers I get real grant funding!!! I'm mostly excited that this would mean I could hire a technician and pay myself for the two months per year not covered by my contract. Game changers.
• BT. [Warning: here comes train of unedited thoughts.] I really want to know how this will go. I think after a couple more weeks I will either need to pull the plug before getting too attached, or it will just have to be the real thing. He may not have a choice. My college roommies (with whom I conclaved** this weekend) were (rightly) amazed? appalled? surprised? all of the above? that I do not know BT's last name. In the words of one of said roommies, "It never came up!" Sadly, my illness got in the way of seeing him this week because then we both had other conflicts. But the text conversations. Oh, the text conversations! The "When can I see you again?", "I want them all" in response to my free nights next week, a Harry Potter marathon that would get him into my SIL's good graces, "You're worth it" in response to making him wait (and to which I responded that he's a smart man). Oh, he's funny too! Me - "I guess meteorologists care." Him - "Yeah, so like 50 people."
• On a related note, the other guys I have had more communication with or gone on a couple of dates with have sorta faded out. NBD. We'll see how BT works out and reevaluate if necessary.
• I inspired a friend to try some online dating, & so far it's been good for her too! Yay!

Okay...now back to work....

*BT is the IRL nickname of one of Bill's friends. So if you think of a better nickname for the current boy, do let me know.

** The 6 of us who lived together senior year in college live within a 4-hour driving range since I moved back east. SUPER doable. We have been getting together about twice a year. It's amazing. The first time was when the last papal conclave was occurring, and we had a new member who has since married into our 'family' who we joked would be voted on at our conclave.

***Conclave story 2 that has no reference above. I jokingly asked my friends if they had secretly voted Bill out, and I just hadn't known it. One**** responded that because I seemed indifferent, they were indifferent and didn't even bother. I think my friends may know me better than I know myself sometimes...

****OMG, that friend is getting married in October and I. CANNOT. WAIT.