Feelin' the same way

I seriously feel like I am in my last year of grad school all over again. I desperately want to finish the experiments I am working on so I can finish my paper so I can submit it and work on other experiments I want to do [so that other people in lab stop getting to do the experiments I have been talking about...a post for another day].

I spent a month trying to figure out why I could not detect a particular protein after an experiment. Come to find out, I think there was a problem WAY back when I set up the experiment. The problem is, the other post doc thought there might be a problem but had not said anything about it for a month. Awesome.

I need to finish applying to jobs. My grad advisor was quick to respond that she would write letters. Another former committee member has not responded to two emails about it. My former boss from when I was a tech is traveling and responded that she will get back this weekend and would like to talk about the letters. I immediately had a tightening in my chest and had to take deep breaths. The only *problem* I can anticipate is that another former member of that lab is applying for some of the same jobs. She and I have emailed about jobs and I emailed her this week that I was applying to them. Although she had previously emailed about them, I already knew of these jobs so as far as I am concerned there is no reason why I should not apply. She is likely a more competitive applicant anyway. Now I am worried that the boss lady will not feel comfortable writing letters for both of us to the same jobs. We will see.

I then work to convince myself that I am competitive enough, even without all the magic pieces applicants for tenure-track positions might possibly have. I try not to give in to the notorious Imposter Syndrome.

Earlier in the week I actually went for a run hoping that it would help me deal with stress (of course ongoing exercise is what would more likely help). Tonight I am going for the yoga. If that does not work, I will have to drink...after those job applications are ready.