Favorite breakfast = awesome dinner

I am heading out of town tomorrow for what will be a great wedding/mini college reunion, and I get to see my sister and her family too! As a result of traveling though, I have random food in the house with no clear meal plan for a few days. Last night, I did something brilliant.

I thawed apple cider that was in the freezer since the fall. I think I will always freeze a little for a treat other times in the year now!

I mixed the apple cider with some vanilla vodka and cinnamon.

I made french toast with some yummy thick sliced whole grain bread and put butter and real maple syrup on it.

Then I sat on my porch and had breakfast for dinner.

(Note: Favorite breakfast = delicious french toast, not vanilla vodka.)

Greatly loved

I am doing many things that feel like procrastination, but really I am clearing my head so I can focus and get more writing done. (That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.) The good news is that I should get word that my research paper is accepted for publication soon, the bad news is my boss and I are writing a review of our research topic that is due in July. Yesterday friends came over and we did work together, took a ride on my neighbor's boat, did some more work, then they forced me to watch the first two episodes of Downton Abbey. More bad news, because now I have to keep watching! But this was the sunset.

Also just called my Dad and checked that off the list on this Father's Day. Only whenever I talk to my parents, and I make an observation about their choices, they take it personally and get all worked up. Really I just want to hear my Dad sound grateful for the fact that he can collect unemployment instead of thinking the system is messed up, that he shouldn't be able to collect unemployment, and yet he is anyway because he can. And then joking that you wish Obama could be reelected when Obama isn't the one who came up with the idea of unemployment benefits isn't funny either. Really I just want my Mom to ask my Dad to go walking with her so he has the option open all the time instead of assuming he never will. "We'll walk together when we retire." To which I responded, "Why wait until you retire?" I should have added, "What if one of you dies before then? That's lost time."

But back to the idea of being loved that I meant to write about. I find myself becoming emotional in funny situations recently. The interim pastor at my church is a very friendly outgoing person who has lots of stories to tell thanks to his many past interim positions. His first week, at the end of the service, he explained that he always ends services by telling those gathered one specific thing:

Go out into the world knowing this, that you are Greatly loved.

I have teared up both times I have heard him say it. It occurred to me today that while I know my family and friends love me, knowing it is an intellectual thing. Living alone and not being in a relationship or having my own immediate family means that I am not reminded on a daily basis that I am loved. It really is important to tell the people you love that you love them. This is not a plea for y'all to email me or call me, either. :-) There are things that remind me that I am loved. I know my kitty loves me!

[back story] I did get a good smile and hi from VM today. I was already thinking about all the things I had to do when RM asked me if I wanted to feel his shaved head (courtesy of the church school because they reached a goal for their mission project), so it ended up awkward instead of funny. I was asked if I would want to lead a week of Sunday school this summer, so I am checking with VM's SIL to see if she wants to do it with me. Why not? :-) My boss bringing up a going away party for me and making a sad face when she did. Time spent with my friends yesterday who are so funny about becoming parents, and amazed at how much I know without having my own child, and being good enough friends that the mom-to-be shares her long leg hairs with me (long story). AND my aunt just FB messaged me, so that is funny. Nice moments like that are reminders that you are loved, but still not the same as hearing someone tell you what you mean to them.

I also have this strong sense of belonging to everything and being a part of everything that often makes me want to just sit and be. That sounds all very 60s and hippie, but pretty much when I watch the sunsets on the lake I am not thinking of anything and am truly just amazed at how beautiful it is. It is overwhelming (in a positive way, but not in a get-your-work-done kind of way) when you have the time to think of these things. Maybe not as overwhelming as cleaning up puke on your birthday, but still. ;-)

These words get at just this feeling, and I love them. I will often listen to the song on repeat when it comes up in the car.

I know a please a thank you and a smile will take me far,
I know that I am you and you are me and we are one,
I know that who I am is numbered in each grain of sand,
I know that I've been blessed again, and over again.

~ Originally by Keali'i Reichel , Cover by Sweet Honey in the Rock that I have

I learned this song from a mix made by one of my college roommates. Senior year, one of my roommates had the awesome idea that we should all put together mixes, she would burn the CDs, and we would have a mix of music from each of us. (I think we are still missing two???)

Mosquito arsenal

Warning, and you're welcome: random complaining about mosquito bites includes photos of my most recent.

Some of you readers may have seen the awesome reaction I sometimes get to bug bites. I do not know if mosquitoes like me more than your average human, or I have a stronger reaction to their bites, or both. According to this website, it is entirely possible that I am a cursed mosquito magnet. Regardless, this is my current arsenal for preventing and treating mosquito bites.

I also bought some citronella candles today for when I am sitting on my screened-in, but not sealed, porch to supplement the plug in bug-zapper I have.

The same website linked above suggests that fruits and veggies that are lower in potassium than others help to prevent bites. Apparently this means blueberries, apples, watermelon, cucumbers, cabbage, and green peppers instead of potatoes, prunes, raisins, spinach, bananas, lima beans, and acorn squash. Here are some more prevention suggestions, some of which are repeats so maybe that makes them better to focus on? Down the road, I will consider some of these environmental options for repelling mosquitoes.

Interestingly, I have also read a little about preventing sun burns and sun damage through your diet, and foods high in antioxidants (like blueberries! and tomatoes) can help. Maybe to prevent sunburn and mosquito bites, I should just eat lots of blueberries...

So I spray myself if I leave my apartment or screened in porch, yet this is what I end up with. You're totally welcome for the visual.

The bites on the right actually are not too bad, and I would expect them to heal in a few days if I do not scratch them.

I killed what I think was the mosquito that bit me in the left picture. I was wearing leggings and did not think it got me. Clearly I was wrong, but now it's dead and cannot do this to another person. I think this was from Wednesday night, and it looks a million times better than two days ago. I tried cortisone cream first, then oral antihistimine when that did nothing. It was still itchy, swollen, red, and hot. So for two days I have been applying cortisone cream and antibiotic ointment twice a day and keeping it covered. This has helped, but I am left with what looks like a round bruise. From experience, this could take a very long time to heal. Again, I don't know if this is an extreme inflammation from an allergic response or from an infection, but given that this happens several times a year, I think it is an inflammatory reaction to the actual mosquito. My guess is that I probably have different reactions to different species, but it's hard to compare what they look like when they are squished and your blood is all over your hand after they've sucked you dry.

My niece gets bad reactions too, so my sister and I have talked about this multiple times. DEET has worked to prevent the bites for her this year, and as much as I hate the idea of spraying DEET on myself, maybe it's time to wear long pants and shirts, spray myself with DEET, and shower every night before I go to bed. Yuck (to the DEET, not the showering).

No joke

I stopped by church this evening because I had the time to help set up for a big rummage sale this weekend. It is also youth group night, so my two favorite men were there. In moving all of the goods from the room in which they were stored to where the rummage sale will be, RM was wondering what one of the large tools was. So with he, myself, and two teenage boys in the room, he says, "It's a concrete vibrator."

This is what a concrete vibrator looks like.

I am pretty sure the rest of the conversation was lost on the teenagers, as they were trying to figure out what to carry. I just kept kinda laughing, and RM and I were going back and forth wondering what you use a concrete vibrator for. I finally left saying, "It's all yours."

If you would like a description on what these are for, this is a great one.  It sounds like the critical things to consider when choosing a concrete vibrator are shaft size and vibrations per minute.

You can't make this stuff up.

Might as well...

A turn of events finds me with an hour to kill at lab on a Tuesday night. I could get an hour of work done, but this time was originally personal time planned for a monthly discussion of what bugs you about religion or non-religion or what you love about these things or why you're skeptical of these things. It was just me and the associate pastor, who I might have mentioned previously {ahem}, so since he and I had a beer and then called the gathering early given the lack of attendance, why not write about boys? Nice segue, huh?

I am writing this more for amusement's sake, and I guess a little bit of 'what if'. What if I stayed her another year or two? There are two boys who do not know they are in the running for the rebound. Lucky them. To minimize incriminating details, well, that's not so easy. One is a religious man (RM), and one is a veteran (VM).

RM is a cool guy who has come to his calling via a non-traditional and challenging path. 20 years ago he probably would have called you crazy if you predicted his career. He likes to develop meaningful youth programs. He is friends with his sisters. He is socially liberal. He likes to chop wood and be outdoors. He is an interesting guy. He is my sister's age (which is older than my age), and given that he and I are often the oldest "young adults", we have joked about me not being that much younger than him. Today he gave me a heads up on a church in the city where I am moving. I joked that now he is trying to get rid of me after giving me a hard time for leaving, to which he responded, "If you love someone, set them free....That's in the Bible, right?" Oh, be still my beating heart. It is all I could do to repress the over-analyzing college woman and to instead smile to myself and let it go.

VM, given his dedication and service, is likewise a good person. He is also incredibly quite/shy. BUT, he now says hi to me in his own way (i.e. gives me a wave in the hall) on his own with no prompting. Yay! We ran youth group together and he talked more than I have ever heard him talk. He likes doing things, and came to an outdoor service opportunity in the spring on the first day they tested the tornado sirens...and we were right near it...and he immediately dropped to the ground. It took the rest of us a minute to realize he was not joking, that this was his engrained reaction to a siren. When he collected himself and got up and stood there red faced and controlling his breathing, I seriously wanted to give him a big hug. The moment the crush started right there, this I-want-to-help-you-moment. His SIL and I have continued (and just finished) a Bible study and I have offered help for the upcoming church rummage sale more than I might have otherwise because his mother is running it. Why not see as much of him as I can before I move, right?

There you have it. Good men in my life who I wouldn't mind dating, but since I am moving away in two months, I guess I will just have to consider them friends.

Before...

...Sunset

I just watched Before Sunset. I may have seen it before; I don't remember these things. (Seriously. Try to have a conversation with me about a movie I saw a month ago and I will not be much of a conversationalist. I like to watch movies to escape, not to think and discuss.) (Also, if you want to watch Before Sunset for free, sign up for a HitBliss account!) (Also, I took all of these photos from my house.)

Anyway. The whole movie is a conversation between these two people. You are just listening to Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy talk for ~ 70 minutes. I totally enjoyed it. I will probably watch this movie again. Many things did make me think during the movie and make me a little sad - not in a bad way, but in a I-relate-to-that-sentiment kind of way. It got me thinking about if there was a one time thing that I wish had worked out. (No eye rolling, Mollybee.) It got me wondering if the move I made here to the Midwest was early enough in my relationship that I couldn't have foreseen how it has turned out, or if it should've worked out. It reminded me that there was this guy I date for about a month whose name I cannot remember. He was Guy #5! (I remember Guy #4. He was a good guy. If that had worked out I would've stayed in Boston. {sigh} Oh, and the update on the guys!) It made me realize if there is a movie with these thoughts, I am not the only one who has them, something I have thought about as a good friend of mine is excited about dating and I am dreading it. It made me think about why I have crushes on particular people right now. It made me think about the older man who is a friend of my downstairs neighbor and was around today (remember him, Aim??), and how that would make a good one-night stand. It made me think about the friend of a friend of my friend-who-is-excited-about-dating who lives where I am moving and is single and a dad and supposedly a nice guy. It made me wonder why if I have blocked my ex's phone number I had the option to download a picture message from him. It makes me think about the various lives I would have had if various relationships had worked out (not in a depressing way).

It also made me wonder what I wait for. Not just in relationships, but every day. Why do I come home and sit on my porch and watch the sunset when I have other things I need to accomplish? When will my head feel clear, and when will I feel motivated more often than not? Would a week on a beach alone accomplish this? Is it just a vacation I need or something more?





I love some of the old posts I find when I link back to old stories. I am just linking to them now for my future benefit. Like the story of my now 5-year-old digital camera I was so happy to buy. Or a summary of BFFs. SO many more. Some day, when I have a whole weekend when I do not have to do work, maybe I will read old posts like a journal.