Lyrics #9

This is one of my favorite songs:

I remember thinking
Sometimes we walk
Sometimes we run away
But I know
No matter how fast we are running
Somehow we keep
Somehow we keep up with each other

Phew!

I now know that "Right on" guy has a second bathroom that is the one he actually uses daily. I think maybe the other one is so dirty because he does not see it. Out of sight, out of mind. Not that I could ever forget that I have a second bathroom that needs to be cleaned occasionally. Plus, if you do not frequently use it, and you have cleaned it before, wouldn't it be cleaner? Not that I am being judgmental or anything. :)

I love New England sports. :)

Okay, I really just watch the Sox and Pats, but still. AND, I didn't just start watching them when they started winning either. I wish I could have been here last night.

Trying to remind myself of the not-so-good times

I am far enough removed from my last real relationship to think on the times I had with the ex fondly - the couple of business trips of his I went on; the weekend in Western Mass, so close to my parents but they didn't know I was there so it was like I was doing something wrong; high tea at the Four Seasons; baseball games; Sunday mornings making breakfast together and drinking coffee on the porch. I try to remind myself of the lack of communication and feeling like I was never heard or understood. The time when we were not technically together, but still talking and seeing each other, and I had surgery and he did not come see me for over a week.

I decided, with sort of permission from the roomy, to edit the ex's business school application essays. It is one of those rocks/hard places dilemmas because I knew I could help and not have to offer personal information, and I would feel guilty if I did not help. In the end I did it, but only that - no information about my life or how I am doing or how the PhD is going. All other emails from him I have not responded too.

He knows how to get me though. He actually thanked me, twice, for helping with the essays and being so good to him. He wanted to take me out to dinner for helping (to which I did not respond). He keeps me updated on some health issues he has had. My friend (KHC) suggested blocking his emails, which would be good because I would not read them, but bad because he would not get them returned.

He asked if I would be interested in post-season baseball tickets if he can get them. I wish it wouldn't be wrong to just take the tickets and find someone else to go with. If my team makes it, there is almost no way I could say "no" to tickets?! Never mind the impossible expense as a graduate student, what about the impossibility of actually getting the tickets?

[I refer to it as my baseball team because the ex cared nothing for baseball until he met me. I was even a little distracted the first time we went out because the game was on behind the bar and the bartender and I were talking about it. Oops.]

Are you a Yankee or a Rebel?

This is a fun quiz.

I am only 9% Dixie - the quiz wanted to know if I needed help digging out of the snow. I guess I am somewhat of a true New Englander. :)

Words get boring

So here are some cute pictures playing with the color accent on my camera. :)

(Not my "dog")My niece looking relatively innocent

302

They are dropping like flies people. I got another email today from a guy with whom I've been communicating but we hadn't been able to figure out a time to meet. Turns out he just met someone and they have "really hit it off so far." So he doesn't think it is fair to try to date both of us, even though he really did want to meet me. Bad timing. Blah, blah, blah. He said he would keep my email address and let me know if his situation changed. I do not know how I feel about that.

"Right on" guy has a really dirty bathroom. Disgustingly so. I do not know how I feel about that either.

301

Well, life has gotten in the way of The Chef pursuing any relationship. (Or maybe he is pursuing another?? Probably not.) His Dad was in the hospital last week on a day when we were supposed to go out, and he has been stuck with two jobs at work because his sous chef was fired by his boss, not to mention the second job he works weekend as a server. He is a nice guy, so it is too bad we didn't get to see each other a couple more times. I am sure my sister will be disappointed. The match is not officially closed online, but is closed in reality. We'll count him as #301.

I wanted to go to Japanese hot pot with The Chef last week, so now KHC is going to fill in. She is great company too. :)

As for the other guys, "Right On" guy only said "right on" once when we went out last night. I met one of his two cats and she was very friendly. I am guessing the other one is less so because I did not see her. He claims that celebrity gossip is a secret addiction, but I think it is more than that and it is entertaining. I shared random facts swimming around in my head, which amused him. For instance, today was Belize's Independance Day! I am now known as being good with directions, provider of random facts, and a pretty face, or as he simplified, "not just a pretty face". Way to charm me! Something came up about playing dumb. I told him I supposed that was my job as a woman but that I do not do that. He said he was glad.

Side note, and I am especially sorry to tell this to all of you who know me and my ex in real life: my ex said on two occasions that he wished I would pretend to be dumb. Seriously? You are saying this to a woman who once only had her intelligence when the perm, braces, and body weight were doing nothing for her in those awkward years? Plus I am getting my PhD in the sciences, what makes you think I would want to pretend to be dumb? I am proud of the fact that I am smart! His comment is a little out of context, but he certainly didn't get any that night! Maybe I will return to this topic of "stupid things guys have said to me" in a future post.

Back to the nice date - dinner, walking around in the city, another drink, and a cab ride home. I did not go in when we got back to his place. I was adamant that I was going to go home, as I had told my roommate I was definitely going to be home, and he tried to convince me otherwise. I warned him I am very stubborn. He was surprised, but if he gets to know me even a little better, I think he would have figured it out on his own eventually. Even on little sleep, I was in a good mood today. :)

300

As in closed matches, not the movie (which I haven't seen).

Admittedly, I was at 297 and I just went and closed 3 more so I could hit 300. I kept the pediatrician match open, even though he didn't have a picture; I closed the guy who seemed too businessworld-y and had one good picture out of three. I kept open the match carpenter who has a picture of him and a little girl; I closed the match who I had actually communicated with a while back and put on hold because he really would not have been my type. Too not confident. That was the problem with a previous match too. I actually met him and he just seemed a little uncomfortable in his own skin. Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that feeling. I have just grown out of feeling that way (for the most part) and do not have SO much patience with it that I would want to date "it". I do not want to have to build up some guy I just met. I want someone who already likes who they are. I like who I am!

And get this, my internet matching service of choice changed the format all around. I am not receiving matches right now, because really being in touch with 3 guys is enough to handle on top of school getting crazy busy right now. I really should just check in once in a while apparently!

On a related note, Beauty and the Geek started last night with a 2 hour premier. I have to admit, I love that show. The only problem I have is that the woman geek they have is really very pretty already, she just dresses nerdy. The male beauty they have just has a nice body. We'll see how the season shapes up! "Right-on" guy, a.k.a. Guy #5, loves celebrity gossip stuff and he and I chatted about last night's Beauty and the Geek while he was supposed to be playing cards with friends. We have a date tomorrow. He didn't sound excited about saki, so we are heading in to the city and playing it by ear. That's fine with me because I really do not head in to the city enough!

Closed matches: 300

Seriously?

Has my favorite baseball team forgotten how to play now that my favorite football team is playing (and winning I might add)? I suppose I should give them the fact that so many players are injured at the moment, but still! :(

Fun with lyrics #8

As I sit here procrastinating on revising a grant, I have called two of three boys (and left messages), ate dinner (even though I snacked all day and wasn't really hungry), and now I'll post lyrics...then maybe do some work. Maybe.

I tried again, I went last night.
Another date was just night right.
And as I drove myself back home,
A little voice said just be alone,
But sometimes I think I see you in a crowd,
It's not picture perfect, but you're meant for me somehow,
And I'll miss you till I meet you.

I didn't know which song of hers to post, because really I love them all. If you know the song, I certainly gave you enough lyrics to figure it out, but I wanted to put the whole story from the verse there. I don't see it as being sad really, just conveying the need for patience. :)

Fall in New England

Yesterday I went here:


and picked lots of these:
and made this:

In the groove

Despite my slight transgression posting pictures of my friends' pets staying at my house, I have almost finished a draft of my grant. I did work out, make dinner, clean a bit, chat with my roommate, but I skipped the TV tonight. I may just finish graduate school (eventually) after all...

Surrogate pets

My roommate and I are not supposed to have pets in our apartment. Our friends have pets, and sometimes our friends are out of town! We used to ask our landlord if it was okay to pet sit, but he never really responded. So, we don't ask anymore and just enjoy our four surrogate pets when they stay with us. It is rough hanging out at Aunt Jenski & Aunt Jenski's roomate's place, as you can tell from the pictures.

P.S. These are from the past year. It is not as if we have had all these wonderful visitors in the past month or anything. :)

The problem with procrastination and lack of motivation

The only way to actually get my PhD is if I do work. If I come home at 5:00 and say I am going to finish a draft of a grant due in a month, I should probably finish the draft. Not come home, go for a walk/jog, clean, make dinner, watch TV with my roommate, have a glass of wine, lurk on peoples' blogs, post on my blog, and go to bed...

100 things: 11-20, Movies, Music and TV

In line with Danielle's 100 things Entertainment Episode, here I go.

11. Whenever I was sick growing up, I would invariable watch The Sound of Music. Until my 6-year old nephew really described the scene to me, I could remember the one where the nuns take parts of the Nazi's cars our so the cars will not run so the family can escape. He thought that part was hilarious; I loved the "So long, farewell" song when all the kids are going to bed.

12. When I had surgery during the winter and started doing things to make myself happy, I stocked up on romantic comedies. I highly recommend Love Actually and 13 Going on 30.

13. Then I figured I should have a non-romantic comedy on hand if necessary and bought Casino Royale. If my relationship with my movie-star boyfriend Matt Damon fizzles, maybe I will just be with Daniel Craig.

14. I have tried to get in to NPR, but ultimately realized I go a little stir crazy when there is no music to which I can sing along while I drive!

15. I will basically listen to any music that is singable, but generally stay away from any country, rap, or hip-hop that is not otherwise played on pop stations. I suppose in a sense they are no longer "real" country, rap, or hip-hop at that point. Oh, well.

16. I can not watch too much reality TV. Some of the more "unique" ones in recent years, I usually enjoy the first season, watch the second season and think how you can never repeat the first season, and stop watching when the third season rolls around. This applies to The Apprentice and Biggest Loser so far. I will let you know if I make it through another season of Beauty and the Geek.

17. I can watch endless hours of one-hour dramas. 24 is getting a little old, but not ER nor Law and Order!

18. I miss a lot of shows that have ended over the past several years: Friends, Will and Grace, Gilmore Girls to name a few. I have been somewhat successful at avoiding getting in to new shows, aside from the fact that I rather enjoy Scrubs (not new-new, but relatively new) and How I Met Your Mother now.

19. I have been to very few big concerts. The majority of those I have been to were Dave Matthews Band.

20. Every year I try to see Dar Williams when she is in town. Talk about singable music! Plus I think she is so cute when she gets in to telling stories. It makes me like her music even more when I know the story behind the lyrics.

The modern woman?

I like that I am independent, and sometimes excessively so. I also want some guy to come along and do everything for me, or at least try. How complicated is that?! :) I suppose I want a man who loves me for my independence, but refuses to let me be so; a man who won't let me do everything, even though I could; a man who knows full well that when I say I am okay, what I really want is for him to give me a big hug and protect me from whatever it is that is actually making me not okay. Is that too much to ask? :)

I want to be equally responsible for a relationship, even though it would be soooo much easier to just let the man plan all our dates. ;) I like that when I missed my returned phone call from the cook, he said to call him back because we should pick I night to get together. I was not prepared to come up with an idea for said night off the top of my head. He said, "It's not so easy is it?" Hahaha. Five minutes after hanging up, I came up with something. So there. It's been a while since I have been in the city and I keep meaning to get a friend to go to Japanese hot pot with me. Hopefully Mr. Chef likes Asian food (because I certainly do!), but just in case, now I will have to think of a plan B so it will look like I can come up with these ideas a little faster.

Fun with lyrics #7

This song is so sweet. :)

I'll never let your head hit the bed,
without my hand behind it.

3 + 50 = cure

I just got back from that 50 mile walk and boy am I tired! This is my fifth year participating in the walk that raises money for research and support programs for those with a connection to Multiple Sclerosis, a disease my mother was diagnosed with almost 25 years ago. Throughout the weekend, the saying, "3 days, 50 miles, closer to a cure" can be heard - while people are walking, at rest stops along the way, during the evening programs, and the final 1/4 mile walk we all take together down a Main Street, parade style. It is a physically and emotionally exhausting weekend. If I had pictures, I would post a couple, but my memory card was at home, while my camera and extra batteries were with me on the walk.

For anyone who has participated in a walk like this, you know what it feels like to accomplish such a feat. I have now walked 250 miles in an attempt to support my mother and her fight against a disease that has no clear cause and no cure. If you have not participated in a walk like this, I highly recommend choosing a cause that is important to you for whatever reason and participating in a similar event. One-day events are great for raising money and awareness, but over the course of three days, you challenge yourself on so many levels that it can be overwhelming. I am decompressing at home tonight (with wine, Extreme Home Makeover, and laundry), even though I should be calling various boys. :)

For those of you who know me in real life, thank you so much for your support for this event!

My cool plant

It's picture day!
This plant apparently reproduces by budding. No pun intended. All those little things that look like leaves off the main leaves are actually little baby plants. When they get big enough and have a mini tap root, they fall off the leaf, root themselves in the dirt, and grow. This is the most I have ever seen on my plant after starting it from a little seedling maybe 1 1/2 years ago.

The Pacific Northwest...

A few photos from my weekend.

At the coase with Haystack rocks in the background. The wind wasn't blowing when we were there, the tree just grew this way.

A rose in the Rose Gardens

Mt. Hood from the Rose Gardens

In the Chinese Garden with the city in the background

Mount St. Helens

This one is 5 miles from the lava dome - within the 7 mile blast zone of the 1980 eruption! Even though it was a clear day, the steam on the mountain makes it hard to take a clear picture of the mountain itself. Notice the lack of trees between the visitor center and the crater, even though the eruption was almost 30 years ago.

Long weekends are great

They are especially great if you get to do something out of the ordinary! My roommate and I traveled to the West Coast for a friend's wedding, which was of course beautiful. I also got to visit my brother who recently moved back out there. Once I figure out how to make smaller files out of my pictures, I'll try to post some (anyone have advice???). We went to the coast, where the water is FREEZING, walked around Portland, OR for a while and got to see the city, and visited Mt. Saint Helens, which was also amazing. Now I have to recover from the very short red-eye, do laundry, and repack for a 50-mile walk this weekend! I may be MIA for a bit...