CF is STILL not done with his PhD. He STILL does not have a defense date. He STILL has not set up a meeting with his committee chairperson.
He is not taking an unusually long time. Although in animal sciences, they often finish on the quicker end, and at the moment he is at the beginning of year 6. He has a job, several publications, lots of presentations, and, oh, did I mention a job? Not that I am in a hurry for him to leave for the job {sad face}, but still. I still, no matter how many times I ask, do not understand why he has not talked to anyone about a defense date.
The irony is that I totally understand how he feels. I have told him I worry that he is not advocating for himself. I have explained that the reason I finished was because I kept pushing, and even that takes time. I have repeatedly pointed out that no one will come to him to say, "Hey! Ready to defend?" As far as I can tell, I am the only person who keeps asking him these questions and pushing him to finish. So I end up being the bad "guy", but I just cannot help it.
Being a pain in the butt has not helped. I wish I could figure out what would help.
5 comments:
Hmmm.... have you tried being a pain in the butt??? That seems the route I would take.
As you know, there is a certain amount of SELF-motivation that is required to get a PhD.
He likely has it in him, SOMEwhere. The question is, where is it?
Actually, I'm surprised his school isn't pushing him out the door to finish. So many schools these days (and advisors) want to get their students out so that the "slots" held by the senior grad students become available for new grad students.
I'm not sure that there is really much you can do other than to just support him in whatever decision/path/timeline he is choosing.
"Pushing" him may just end up becoming a wedge in your relationship. He might even just dig in even harder to not do as you are suggesting (unfortunately), instead of seeing your thoughts as valuable advice from someone who has been there and done that.
Ron, I DEFINITELY have gone that route. :-)
Danielle, I agree on all counts. I am trying to resort to being supportive and just checking in to see if he needs me to read anything or if there is someone who can help him get through the SAS analysis faster.
I'd like to tell him to man up and get it over with! It must be scary to take that step, but still. Better to take the step and risk tripping and falling over than be stuck in a rut.
Sounds like a good strategy, Jenski. :-)
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