I remember coming up with interesting things to post about with regards to another year under my belt. I am getting older, though, and I forget what those interesting things were. Just kidding. Well, not really. I do think I have forgotten, but it has been nearly a month since I posted, so I am sure I can come up with something you all care to read about....
So the big 3-5.
...I got some presents...
OH. Speaking of eggs. Here is a good conversation a BFF and I had. (This was totally a stream of consciousness-like post. My brain makes connections that are just this clever.)
Friend: Hey, Jenski, how's life?Actually, I guess relationships and family are the biggest thing I think about when I think about aging. At 35 years old, I do not actually FEEL old, but when I think about life, I think that I am slowly running out of time for certain things. Now that I am on the topic, why don't I turn this post into that?
Jenski: Great. Here's what's new, etc., etc. What's new with you?
Friend: Oh, not much. The boyfriend still hasn't finished grad school. I also called with a weird question. Have you ever thought about freezing your eggs?
Jenski: No. As in, right now I can't imagine feeling like I would ever want to freeze my eggs.
{Insert conversation about aging and fertility.}
After a somewhat lengthy discussion on the topic, it comes down to this: She assumes she will have fertility problems, and given certain situations and family, I do not assume I will. I would love to have children, but given my last relationship, prioritizing my current career given relationship failures, and my age, I have also come to terms with the fact that it may not happen. I used to worry about boogers and puke; now I wonder how I would be able to teach a 3-hour lab starting at 8:30 a.m. if my child is up with the flu all night. I am also completely open to falling in love with a child who was not my biological child if that is what is in the cards. While it was a bit tongue-in-cheek, if my child is already potty trained and sleeps through the night when they become my child, who am I to complain? (Right now) I do not need to mess with my body, inject myself with hormones, and have a bunch of my eggs harvested and frozen to be happy with my life. This is what feels right to me right now, but you never know what life will bring, right?
It is also frustrating to know I am getting older and have people tell me that I am "so" young (because I am the youngest in my department). While I do not feel OLD, I know I am not YOUNG.
Now that I have that off my chest, I will try to post again soon with more interesting things....
FYI, my birthday also entailed going out to a great dinner with Bill (and a future weekend away somewhere TBD), some flowers from a coworker's garden, and lots of "Happy birthdays!" in the form of FB posts and texts from friends and family. It is not so bad getting older. :-)
5 comments:
Happy Birthday! This whole aging thing sort of sucks, at some point I plan on stop doing it.
Those daffodils are lovely!
I think your approach to the biological clock issue is very sane. And there will almost always be someone older than you telling you how young you are, unless you get to be 98 like my Bubbe.
When we were living in a two bedroom apartment in Somerville...35 seemed so old, haha. Now I sort of resent getting older and being told how young I am, while at the same time I definitely still feel young.
Just wait until you rock a half marathon later this year, take that 35 :)
I have missed you! Glad you've returned! I can relate to your aging woes in a variety of ways regardless of my marital status. I remember my moms 35th birthday quite vividly and it often makes me sad in a sense to think about the fact that I am very close 35 but not even remotely close to having a child, let alone one that would remember that birthday. I then remember that my mom was no where as professionally successful as I am at almost 35. Everything is a trade-off. I have a feeling that your 35th year is going to be quite memorable. Happy birthday, cheers to many exciting years more. Xx
Ron, at some point we don't get a choice...
Spark - I loved all the different colors of the daffodils! And your Bubbe is awesome.
April, here's hoping 35 and 13 miles go well together...
Lynmittsky, thank you, thank you. I'll let you know how 35 goes. :-)
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