Mini-makeover

Do you ever watch those home make-over shows and get annoyed that they compare a regular lived-in home as before with the polished nothing-that-the-family-owns-is-in-the-room after shot? I always notice even more when there is a play room or child's room involved. This is my own mini-makeover version. Unlike those TV shows, this was free.

I took down all of my Christmas decorations last weekend and cleaned up.

I could not remember what I had on top of my china cabinet before the big Santa was there. I started playing with the idea of moving my furniture around. This is the before - notice all the random stuff near the door and the crap on the table?

Then I emptied shelves to make furniture easy to move. Vacuumed. Polished the table. Hung all the things I have from my travels after not hanging them since I moved here. I tried to get it all done while there was lots of sunlight to play the other lighting trick they do on TV. Alas. I do like the new set-up so far though!

Hallowed Joy and Love

I was on a roll with reflecting on the Advent Season until the world took a wrong turn. I have not posted in a couple of weeks mostly because, while I can think of lots of things to post, I wonder why I want to put them out there on the internet. I feel guilty about my life moving on (some aspects faster than others). I have started thinking about why I am still posting here. What I want to post about - random life occurrences? Deep Thoughts by Jenski? Maybe just make a better effort to stay in touch with people? Those thoughts are for another time...a few more posts...but for now, some catch-up.

The third week of advent is supposed to be Joy. Joy is difficult to strive for when there is so much sad suddenly. Our pastor shared that two of the most difficult jobs to have after a tragedy has occurred are those of a reporter and a pastor. The most difficult idea to convey and to grasp is that there can be joy found in tragedy. That loving those you have and being kind to people is a way to honor those who have been lost. If you have not heard, looking for the helper is a good way to start finding that hallowed joy.

Fred Rogers about when he was a child and would see scary things: My mother would say to me, 'Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.' To this day, especially in times of 'disaster,' I remember my mother's words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers-so many caring people in this world.

The final week of advent, the week of Love, I was home and went to the church where I grew up. I was mostly interested in how I felt about the pastor now that I have found a church where I am touched or inspired by the sermon on a weekly basis. The sermon/message at the church in which I grew up was non-traditional, so I did not hear a sermon from the pastor. For me though, the message of Love for the week came from the people I know there - hugs from many, questions about whether I was back to ring handbells, and people noticing that my Mom, CF, and I left quickly after the service (which was then mentioned to me on Christmas Eve). The Love for the week came to me in the roots I had in the church, and not in looking for whether I could still find meaning in the pastor's message. It was good that I did not end up comparing my experiences there with my current church and could just enjoy my annual Christmas visit.

I did not take a picture, but every time I go back there, I smile and my heart is warmed by the hand-made sign proclaiming that it was the first open and affirming church in its state.

Peace

I had a good week. I am optimistic about my future. I am surprisingly sad at the prospect of leaving where I live. I submitted a paper. I am busy at work (in a good way) and outside of work. I have decisions to make.

I wish I had written this post earlier in the week.

I wish I had finished my Christmas and Hanukkah cards before today.

Alas, I did not, and there are parents facing the tragic loss of their children that I cannot begin to comprehend.

It is the week of 'Peace' during advent, and tonight I am wishing many people peace in their lives. Yesterday I would have been able to write a more calming 'Peace' post. Today, I will leave you with some thoughts by more articulate people that now take on a new meaning. From our church service last weekend:

We, Angels and Mortals, Believers and Nonbelievers, look heavenward and speak the word outloud.
Peace. We look at or world and speak the word aloud.
Peace. We look at each other, and then into ourselves.
And we say without shyness or apology or hesitation:
Peace, My Brother.
Peace, My Sister.
Peace, My Soul.                                               ~Maya Angelou

From our Associate Pastor's installation last weekend, the Prayer of St. Francis.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred, let me sow love.

Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith.

Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen.

Culture clash

I recently spent a lovely evening with a friend at a community-based micro-finance type event. The project presentations of note were for a local neighborhood-based history museum, a high school community-building art project, and a dog park.There was also a 5th-6th grade group returning to give an update on the project they had received funding for last spring.

The dog park group wanted to build a shelter at the park and a rain collection system if they received the funding that night.

A student from the 5th-6th grade group asked how "they would get food at the shelter".

The dog park presenter went on and on for what seemed like forever, but was likely 30 seconds, about dog treats, and the dog owners bringing food if they want to, and how great it would be for people to share treats because dogs love treats.

I cringed. I hope it was inside. My friend noticed the same disconnect between an inner-city elementary school student's understanding of the word "shelter" and the dog park presenter's understanding. Don't get me wrong - a dog park would be a great way to attract people to move into a city that has fallen on tough times. The people who have stuck out those tough times need some recognition though.

I voted for the high school group that was competing. Dog park users probably have enough money to build that shelter if they pool their resources.

Wanted

You know what is amazing?

When you have close friends
and their friends
and newer friends
all telling you
to move back to them
or where you might move is not close enough
or don't leave this college town
because
we miss you
or
we will miss you.

Hope so

Hope...Sometimes hope feels far away. But hope is always there. Hope is the warmth of strong arms around you. Hope is the sad tears flowing, making room for joy. Hope is angry words bursting, making room for understanding. Hope is scared words asking for help, and finding that help is there. Hope is knowing that you are loved. Hope is knowing that you love others. Hope is holding tight to your mother's hand. Hope is your father's good-night kiss. Hope is remembering his kisses when he can't be there with you. Hope is finding happiness in simple things. Hope is daring to do something you've never done before. Hope is remembering that you are not alone. Many others feel just the way you do. Many others care. Hope is a candle flame in the darkness. Hope is the clear sky above the gray clouds. Hope is the glistening of the snow when the storm has passed. Hope is a heart that is open to the world around you. Hope is knowing that things change - and that we can help things to change for the better. Hope is always there inside you, waiting to unfold.

- Lauren Thompson

'Tis the week of the 'hope' candle in advent. 'Hope' is something I have been struggling with. While I think this excerpt is from a childrens' book, it helps separate the idea of hoping from wishing. I am fine with the present. The day-to-day. It is looking ahead to what will be going on 3 weeks or 6 months or 2 years from now that makes me want a glass of wine on my couch and then to curl up in bed.

In other randomness and to get into the holiday spirit, I finally treated myself to a nativity. I had been looking for one that was not super-breakable and not a bunch of white people. I got this from the Serrv shop at church, and they have other lovely ones.

 I got and put up and decorated my lovely tree all by myself. I am self-sufficient like that.

As needy as my cat often seems, you gotta admit she is awfully adorable when she cuddles in like this. She slipped and didn't make it up when she jumped up on a dining chair this evening. She either needs more exercise or is getting old or both.