I will start with the negative and just get it out there and then tell you how I had to try hard to not let one negative thing ruin a string of good people. Any guesses? My advisor...I got a summary of my committee meeting from a little over a week ago and, much like last spring's update, there is stuff there that is not true and stuff that she has never discussed with me. She stated that my defense goal is next fall. Lie. Try my goal is to defend by August. Hello? My lease is up August 31st. (And I know there are a million and one people with whom I could stay, but really? Is that how she would have wanted to finish her dissertation??) Never has it been stated to me that my next "big" paper had to be accepted for publication in order to even defend my dissertation. Now, I am not stupid. This is the stipulation she has put on my friend a year ahead of me. But to wait until the second semester of my fifth year to tell me that is ridiculous. Those are just two of many points. I drafted a response, will sleep on it, meet with her and discuss it tomorrow, and put my response in my folder, cc'ed to my committee members.
On to the nice people with whom I have dealt today!
At the gym - A few ladies who are slightly older than me and go to a step class I (somewhat) regularly attend all said hello to me this morning.
Getting coffee - The nice coffee guy acknowledged that if I am getting my PhD I have been working hard for the past four years. (I would transcribe the conversation, but that is the gist of it. I appreciate that someone knows I must be working hard.)
Insurance adjustor - Reassured me that the body shop I intended to bring my car to is good people. Shared a couple stories about his grandkids. Pleasant all around. (Note: Someone broke my driver's side mirror last weekend. Boo. :-( )
Body shop - HELLO friendly helpful people! They said they just go off the insurance estimates (boo to deductibles though), called a junk yard to get me a real replacement mirror, duct taped my mirror back on so well I can adjust it again! Told me they should have the parts Wednesday, I could drop my car back off, and would probably be able to pick it up Friday.
At work - A freshman who I tutored in writing last year stopped by to give me a gift. SOOOO unnecessary and sweet. I was pretty flexible with helping her with her writing over email, etc., but the gift was unnecessary. My friend assured me I should not feel bad; that when people give you a gift it is because they want to.
After work - An undergrad who used to work in the lab, and whose taste in music I find superb, posted a new group she found on my Facebook page. It is nice when people randomly think of you. Her roommate is currently in the lab I am TAing and also very nice.
5 comments:
For heaven's sake... your advisor needs to have her head examined! She's a first class crazy-maker.
I agree with your friend regarding the gift. It's difficult to receive a gift whole-heartedly, but that's how the giver wants you to receive it. (Unless they're a horrible, manipulative person, but I doubt that's the case in this example.)
I realize I haven't been reading your blog much! sorry.
Sorry also to hear about your advisor's annoyingess.
Meanwhile, what a lot of lovely people and gifts you've got (and it sounds like, got *back* on some level). Awesome!
Sometimes it takes 5 nice people to make up for one irritating one, though, especially when that personis supposed to be your "mentor". Good thing you had that today!
(Word verif: borat!)
Spark, no joke about my advisor.
Aurora (and Spark too), gifts do make you feel warm and fuzzy inside! Makes me feel bad all those times I was annoyed by this particular student. :-)
Ern, I just keep thinking about the nice people. (And borat of all words??)
Maybe this is all a plot to find out how much stress you can take. I mean maybe they feel a person trying to get a PHD should be able to handle massive stress and it's all a test, none of it is real...
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