Life: I have been thinking a lot about what I want to do when I grow up...or at least for the next part of my professional career. Some of this stems from a whole host of post-doc bloggers I have happened upon recently, but we will get to the blog-soul searching first.
I am on a training grant that has a pay-back agreement. This means that I agree to work in my research/teaching field for a year to repay the investment in my training. But if I get an individual training grant, that would mean two years to repay. If I do not work in this area, I would then owe the NIH ~$70,000. So I need to stay in the field for up to 4 more years at least, but what do I want my life to really look like? My post-doc time is going rather well on a non-work level. I have worked only a few weekend days in the three months I have been in lab, I have some data, my advisor seems to think I am doing adequate work, and I am not working ridiculous hours in general. Ideally, and this comes up a lot in the science blogging world, if I made $15000 more a year right now, I would be happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah - if any one made $15000 more a year they would be more happy, right? Well, not exactly. I heard a story on the radio or from a friend or maybe it just came up in a conversation once (like my form of citing sources?) that the lower your income the more happiness additional income can bring you. Money cannot buy happiness directly (unless it buys you a trip to Disney World one could argue), but it releases you from financial stress. Eventually, though, I need to publish a paper or two, apply for a grant, get my butt in gear on new and exciting experiments-to-be-designed, start paying my student loans, and get a different job. So all of this blabber about soul searching in life is really me trying to figure out what to do with my PhD and training grant that will make me happy and truly allow me to do things I want to do (like travel to visit CFs family) without relying on credit cards. I would love a forever job in which I worked 40 to 50 hours a week (on average) ONLY and made $60000+ per year. Simple. :-)
Blog: As I mentioned, I have read and occasionally commented on a bunch of blogs by scientists recently. I think I keep reading them to connect to other PhDs who are at the same stage in their career as I am, as I am the only post-doc in my lab. My blog is not terribly anonymous, nor is my real-life identity a piece of cake to figure out (I think). I have told friends and family about the blog, but do not know if other people I know would happen upon it (or tell me if they did, hint, hint, if you are out there). I never really thought of my blog as a science blog, but do find myself reflecting on my post-doc and documenting observations and experiences in my career development...in addition to some recipes and randomness.
So what to do about what I blog? One thing I have considered is taking down everything related to grad school because it was so angsty and anxiety ridden and leave up the happier post-doc experiences. But putting reflections out there about colleagues is not a good habit to get into. Also, as I struggle to figure out what I want from life, maybe having those debates online is not the best option if it would be fairly feasible for someone to happen upon my blog? So if I recently started visiting your science-life themed blog, I have probably signed my comments in some combination of my web address/blogger name/'post-doc'/anonymous because I do not know how I feel about connecting the life and science I write about to a specifically science blog community.
To highlight what I mean: I recently made my blog indexible to see what would happen to the traffic coming through. First, I notice a lot of visitors linking to a post about lab notebooks from a science-oriented blog. Then I noticed that someone who used the internet to look up the meaning of 'queer bait' visited.
I have no way to wrap up this whole post, except that if you have any particular insight or suggestions, I would love to hear them. :-)
I am on a training grant that has a pay-back agreement. This means that I agree to work in my research/teaching field for a year to repay the investment in my training. But if I get an individual training grant, that would mean two years to repay. If I do not work in this area, I would then owe the NIH ~$70,000. So I need to stay in the field for up to 4 more years at least, but what do I want my life to really look like? My post-doc time is going rather well on a non-work level. I have worked only a few weekend days in the three months I have been in lab, I have some data, my advisor seems to think I am doing adequate work, and I am not working ridiculous hours in general. Ideally, and this comes up a lot in the science blogging world, if I made $15000 more a year right now, I would be happy. Yeah, yeah, yeah - if any one made $15000 more a year they would be more happy, right? Well, not exactly. I heard a story on the radio or from a friend or maybe it just came up in a conversation once (like my form of citing sources?) that the lower your income the more happiness additional income can bring you. Money cannot buy happiness directly (unless it buys you a trip to Disney World one could argue), but it releases you from financial stress. Eventually, though, I need to publish a paper or two, apply for a grant, get my butt in gear on new and exciting experiments-to-be-designed, start paying my student loans, and get a different job. So all of this blabber about soul searching in life is really me trying to figure out what to do with my PhD and training grant that will make me happy and truly allow me to do things I want to do (like travel to visit CFs family) without relying on credit cards. I would love a forever job in which I worked 40 to 50 hours a week (on average) ONLY and made $60000+ per year. Simple. :-)
Blog: As I mentioned, I have read and occasionally commented on a bunch of blogs by scientists recently. I think I keep reading them to connect to other PhDs who are at the same stage in their career as I am, as I am the only post-doc in my lab. My blog is not terribly anonymous, nor is my real-life identity a piece of cake to figure out (I think). I have told friends and family about the blog, but do not know if other people I know would happen upon it (or tell me if they did, hint, hint, if you are out there). I never really thought of my blog as a science blog, but do find myself reflecting on my post-doc and documenting observations and experiences in my career development...in addition to some recipes and randomness.
So what to do about what I blog? One thing I have considered is taking down everything related to grad school because it was so angsty and anxiety ridden and leave up the happier post-doc experiences. But putting reflections out there about colleagues is not a good habit to get into. Also, as I struggle to figure out what I want from life, maybe having those debates online is not the best option if it would be fairly feasible for someone to happen upon my blog? So if I recently started visiting your science-life themed blog, I have probably signed my comments in some combination of my web address/blogger name/'post-doc'/anonymous because I do not know how I feel about connecting the life and science I write about to a specifically science blog community.
To highlight what I mean: I recently made my blog indexible to see what would happen to the traffic coming through. First, I notice a lot of visitors linking to a post about lab notebooks from a science-oriented blog. Then I noticed that someone who used the internet to look up the meaning of 'queer bait' visited.
I have no way to wrap up this whole post, except that if you have any particular insight or suggestions, I would love to hear them. :-)
3 comments:
Me?! Advice??? LOL... I don't have a clue what I'm doing so giving advice is maybe not the best thing to do. I will say getting rid of your angsty posts seems questionable. Your life is the angsty parts and the good parts, it's a part of who you are/were. Besides if you get rid of your angsty posts then I will feel inclined to do the same and then my blog will only consist of four or five posts.
Ron, maybe perspective would be a better word than advice? I don't want to take down the angsty, but rather question how much to discuss about specifics in my experience, versus the abstract of being in science.
I don't know that I have a lot of great advice about this. I think you know my own take on how I have chosen to share or not to share on my blog. The problem for me is that I have whole sections of my life about which I "cannot" blog. One side effect of this is that it makes my blog boring at times and less reflective. Or blank of new posts (like now).
Keeping posts up or taking them down really just depends on you and what makes you comfortable. I would think it would be a loss to take down your posts. BUT if you ever think your former advisor would find it...
... well, you have to be willing to have that bridge burned (although, it might be already? I'm not clear on that point.)
Post a Comment