The new post-doc in my lab from Japan asked me how old I am the other day. This has never been an uncomfortable question for me, and I told her I am 31. Her reaction was similar to many reactions I get, and possibly why I do not mind the question - disbelief. [Well, she believed me but would have guessed much younger.]
And I told her what I like to offer as an explanation: that I am not married with children yet.
Though I will also argue that graduate school and a former relationship put years on me, you can still count my gray hairs on one hand (yet my 4-year-older sister will take every opportunity to point out that she has none). On the other hand, I do like to be in bed by 10:30 (but up at 6:00!).
...Which brings me back to my age. I have a hard time figuring out how old I feel. Living in Boston, it was quite common to be a single 30-year old in grad school. The city is full of young unmarried adults. Here in the Midwest, it is common for grad students to be married and possibly to have a child or two before they finish (from my experience). I assume that any of those grad students who are married with babies are in their 30s, but they have not even hit 30 yet. CF got his bachelor's degree when he was 27 (I think), so his college friends are now all around 27 or 28 and getting married or having babies. I think he likes to think of himself as 26 or 27 just like them. Anyway, I get confused about where I should be in my life at 31, and rationally know that it doesn't really matter because I am happy with what I have done with my life.
CF likes to joke that he is dating an old lady, although he is old than me. So I told him about the other day in lab and my exact response (see above). He didn't seem to find that funny. :-)
4 comments:
My college friends are 8 or so years younger than me, but I tend to consider myself their age too!
I wear a backpack like a grownup might use purse or handbag. People see backpack and think "twenty something".
A lot of the time I feel and act like a 10 yr old.
I have a few grey hairs that fell out last time I dyed my hair purple. I have always been curious about what age grey is normal. Women tend to stop covering up once they hit 50 or so, but I am sure many start early 30s - but that is not a polite question to ask.
My Dad always used to tell people he was 29, and I try that one sometimes to see how long I can get away with it. I have to think about my age now, and sometimes count from my birth date. I will be 37 in a few months.
A majority of my close college friends (as you know) are not yet married. Yet I look at my sister, 4 years younger, who went to college in the middle of VA, and all of her friends are married, and several have kids already. There is something to say about geography.
@Dr. Girfriend - I have a nice grey streak in the middle of my head (at 30). Not enough to cover up yet, but enough to notice. And I had a friend who went significantly grey while we were in high school and definitely dyed it - though she's the exception to the rule I suppose. There are two data points for you :)
I have more data points on the gray hair occurrence.
I'm pretty sure it starts in the 20s.
When I was in my late 20s, I had several female friends who were all in the same age group, and we were all lamenting the appearance of gray hair.
I've had gray hairs (and do not dye them - bad bad phthalates!)since my early 20s. My gray streak became really noticeable in my 30s, but because of the way I've always parted my hair, it is underneath.
I consider this a great improvement when I look at my family tree. My grandpa on my dad's side was completely gray in his 20s. My dad managed to put off the completely gray head of hair until his late 30s. I'm hoping for 40s or later, since mine is still scattered.
I know that it makes a woman look "older" than average, because everyone else is dying theirs. But I'm really against exposing myself to all of the chemicals involved.
Interestingly enough, even with the gray, people always think that I'm a LOT younger than I am (I'm 36). I think it is mainly the lack of kids. People use that as a rough barometer of age all of the time.
I don't know how many times I've said something to the effect of, "well, she must be in her 40's at least, because she has kids who are in college."
I should start a poll. Another 30-year old friend has lots of gray and my uncle was gray in his late 20s.
When people would ask me for directions on campus when I would explain that I was a graduate student and didn't know. :-) Now I just don't make eye contact.
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