Inertia

It is only appropriate that I have been working on this post for several days - not sure how to put in to words what I am thinking and jumping between this, a job talk, job applications, getting organized for an interview, and then cleaning right after I make myself post this...


I came up with (or, maybe, Googled) a few quotes about inertia that felt particularly fitting to me right now, and I have been thinking about inertia in life for a while, and Danielle recently posted about something similar. I do not think that my points are well fleshed out though.

What I think we fear is rapid, pronounced, and uncontrollable changes to ourselves, and because of this we have a form of personality inertia - something that resists rapid change. - Simon Travaglia

I am trying to stay away from a blame game in my relationship with CF, and I think as a result start to wonder if I am crazy or if I am missing something. I can guess what any of you readers will say to this. ;-) CF suffers from the above type of inertia, I think. My sister rightly challenged my seemingly long list of complaints about my relationship with CF, particularly in regard to the fact that he has not finished his dissertation, to figure out why I get so worked up about the fact that he has not finished his dissertation, I explained that his dissertation has been an excuse for him not to do things, or to do them in a particular way, never with a compromise. This has been going on for two years. I still cannot figure out, nor has he shared, why he cannot just get it done. I have spent a lot of time trying to think about an instance in which he compromised or expressed his motivation for a particular decision with recognition of our relationship. Honestly, the only thing I can think of is when he pointed out that I am the only woman he has ever brought home to Germany with him. That was more than two years ago.

Human inertia makes the everyday environment, the furniture, as it were, appear to be a given. -Todd Gitlin

I am not sure what feels like a given right now. This makes me think about what might be 'safe' life decisions. Or riskier, depending on whose perspective it is. CF told me (via email) that he wishes nothing more than for me to find a job in his state and give that state a chance. I replied that I gave my current locale a chance three years ago, but that has not really gone anywhere, so why take the same chance again? I like the prospect of taking a chance back on the East Coast. Near friends and/or family.

Life leaps like a geyser for those who drill through the rock of inertia. -Alexis Carrel

I am trying to take this one to heart. I have been spending a lot of time at my desk and on my computer with the job search, and I feel completely unproductive in the lab. I try to convince myself it will pay off, but in reality, I need to keep being productive at the bench. People say that your research goes on hold when you are looking for a job. I do not think they meant because you have a hard time focusing and managing your time. If I can get a couple of big steps in my research done before the end of the year, that would be awesome.

And that's all I've got. On to the cleaning so that I don't have an excuse NOT to do work tomorrow...