Your boldness makes you a force to be reckoned with.I am pretty sure that is horoscope speak for: "You're a bitch". You decide. :-)
If I had been a fly on the wall last night at the museum, homing in on the awkward situations my friend and I got in, this is what we might have heard.
[NOTE: for all situations below, read my and my friend's comments in very sarcastic tone. At no point in the night were we truly, or even remotely, grateful for the members of the opposite sex with whom we interacted. We don't know how to politely remove ourselves from these situations and drunk boys are not all that perceptive. All the good ones refused our come-hither-and-help-us looks. Maybe next time.]
Jenski [exiting bathroom to see friend with man talking to her]: I'm going to grab a drink. Do you want one?She was real smooth accepting my out for that situation, huh?
Friend: I'm all set. [pause] But I'll come with you!
Man #1 sidling up to us: What are you ladies talking about?
Jenski: Ummmm...Actually, my sweater.
Man: What color is that sweater?
Jenski: Ummmm...brown?
Man#1: What do you both do for fun?Then he invited us to hang out with he and his friends at an "in" bar and gracefully [ahem] exited.
Jenski: I'm in grad school. I don't have fun.
Jenski's friend: I'm a lawyer. I don't have time for fun either.
Jenski: What do you do?
Man #1: Oh, you know, go to bars, restaurants, hang out with friends, the beach.
Jenski: It's a little cold for the beach still.
Man #1: I've been once already! Have to work on my tan, you know.
[To his credit, there was one day when it was 85. Weird New England weather.]
Jenski: Yeah, I don't tan.
Man #1: Let me guess. Are you a little Irish?
Jenski: It's true. I turn bright red, and peel. It's very unnattractive.
Man #1: I bet the tanning salon industry in Ireland doesn't do very well, huh?
Jenski: I am not actually from Ireland. Maybe my ancestors know though.
Then, my friend and I tried to use our education to deter the next set of boys to come our way. Usually this works. Boys find out your getting a PhD or are a lawyer and get all intimidated. Yeah, so last night, that didn't work.
Man #2: So what do you do?
Jenski: I'm a grad student.
Man #2 a few minutes later in conversation: So what do you study?
Jenski: Biology...[man nods]...developmental biology...[man nods]...Do you want me to keep going or just stop there?
Man #2: Well, is this something that is very important to you?
Jenski: Not right now! But someday people will have to call me doctor, so that's why I stay in it.
Man #2 crouches and does a weird pointing thing at my friend.Later at the bar, while my friend got us drinks...
Jenski to friend: I'm not sure what that was.
Man #2's friend: I'm not sure what that was either.
Man #2: It's between she and I.
Jenski to Man #2: I'm pretty sure it's between you and you.
Man #2: No, it's between she and I.
Jenski: No, it's between you and you.
[WHY was I having this argument????]
[Man does same weird pointy thing to friend.]
Man #2: Now it's between he and I. I'm going to head to the bathroom.
[Man #2's friend does not take the out and stays for several more minutes of AWKWARD conversation.]
Weird old man listening to his iPod: [While patting friend's arm] How're you?Go figure.
Friend: Uhhh...Fine.
Weird old man to two other people he doesn't know: I don't think she is happy to meet me!
I'll stop there because it is painful to write these conversations out. I'm leaving out all the men who were our fathers' ages who also tried to hit on us. My friend wondered when the social norms broke down that make these men think it is okay to do this.
Suffice it to say, if my friend and I head back to this meat market of an event, we will be more prepared and proactive about meeting the cute non-creepy boys.
7 comments:
Lets see you didn't run across any of these classics did you? "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" or "Are you tired because you've been running through my mind all night."
Wow. I couldn't come up with pickup lines that bad if I tried all night. I think my favourite was the guy who asked you what colour your sweater was. Not so smart, methinks!
And the pointing thing? Self-sabotage comes to mind. That's just painful!
Ackackack it's so painful!
2 comments:
1, excellent short answer on what you do. I have a similar 1 word answer, 2 word followup. Because most people (even if they really are interested in us as a person) don't want to know more than that.
2, what is the deal with the older men younger women thing? It's getting worse! I was reading about summer romance movies today and not a one of them were the stars the same age. Usually the woman was 10 or more years younger.
Your comments are pretty obviously negative so you'd think those guys would get the message. And 'ladies'? Oh, my!
Oh, heavens preserve us. That sounds pretty painful. But when you related them all at once, it's kind of funny (at least if you weren't there), so thank you for relating them for our benefit.
Boy, does this sound like a good time. ;-) I am smiling at how absurd some of it sounds. Lot of brain power going on there. Although, I will say that it sounds really awkward and I give guys credit for walking up to random girls and trying to talk to them. I know that I'm wretched at trying to start conversations with unknown people.
Oh, and was _anyone_ looking at the art?
Ron, not really. Kinda sad. At least that would have had potential to be endearing! Man #2 did bring up that people are known to try and pick people up on these Fridays. I asked if that was what he was trying to do. :)
Spark, maybe he thought I would use a more descriptive word than brown? Like, oh, bark or poo.
Ern, I usually keep going if they seem to understand. If they seem like they are just spacing out, I stop. I didn't realize about the romance movies - that's sad!
Aurora, when I was 16, I loooooved it when someone said 'ladies'.
Molly, never fear, I was amused the whole time. Shocked and amused.
Danielle, there was art? Huh? Maybe these boys were giving their first time a shot and will return with better lines, at which point maybe I will give them a chance. :) I also attribute some of the ridiculousness to the fact that they may have been drinking for a few hours and I had not had enough to drink to go for it.
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