My ex and I were exchanging messages on Facebook*. He started it by saying he was thinking about seeing a "shrink" (his word, my quotation marks) and wondered if I would be willing to talk to said "shrink" to give him insight on the ex. Really?
I responded with a 'Seriously?' I think. At one point he asked if I was mad at him (a typical question from him when I question him about something), to which I responded that I was not, in fact, mad at him, but I thought it was a therapists job to talk to their patient and work through whatever with the patient. I had never heard of a therapist consulting a patient's exes to get insight.
He claims it was the "shrink's" idea.
Huh.
I finally told him, still via messages on Facebook*, that I would meet with his therapist if he thought it would help and this would not change the fact that we are NOT getting back together. I also asked if maybe from what he had told this therapist if the therapist thinks I am crazy and wants to see ME as a patient. I never heard back.
My roommate suggested that the ex was just making this up to see if I would say yes. So I asked him. He said he just met with the therapist for the first time**, thinks it will be good because he did not have the happiest childhood, and that his sister is bulimic. I could probably do the therapist's job of articulating what the ex's problems are for the therapist could give me a couple of months to write a novel about it.
This is the randomness I still get after breaking up nearly a year and a half ago.
*I really dislike that interactions are so electronic. I hate when the ex sends me a text message, because I have to pay for it! I have tried explaining this before, to no avail. Even when we were together, I did not understand why he would not just call me to say he was on his way over. If you seriously want a friend's help while you figure your shit out, why are you asking the friend over Facebook??
**This is suspicious because he said it was the therapist's suggestion, yet he had not yet met with the therapist at the time.
6 comments:
Wow. He must have had some redeeming features for you to stay with him for awhile, but he does have PROBLEMS. Yikes!
I'm glad he's seeing a "shrink". I hope he gets some help figuring himself out.
A good shrink shouldn't need someone else to tell them what's up with their patient. It's very nice of you to agree to go with The Ex though, and I imagine the more information the shrink has, the better. Maybe you could get something out of it yourself, by thinking of a particular question to ask while you're there. It shouldn't just be all to benefit Mr. Ex, unless you're feeling particularly generous.
Just make sure that you charge him the going rate for therapy...
And I agree, it doesn't make sense for the shrink to ask to talk to an ex. If you were in couples therapy or having some kind of issue directly with another person, maybe you bring them into a session...but not someone you broke up with 1.5 years ago...
Hm... I know of at least one psychiatrist who spoke with family members to help get perspective on his patient. If the Ex's problems were just that he was unhappy, then one would think the therapist should be able to figure it out. But it seems like he has real interpersonal issues... remember how he would *just not get it* when you were dating? If he didn't understand what he did to upset you and hurt you while you were dating, he's going to have a hard time explaining it to his therapist now.
Not to say that it isn't weird that he asked you (a) before he even went, or (b) that you should feel obligated to go. But it's nice of you to have agreed. Yay karma?
Spark, I hope he figures himself out too. [sigh]
Aurora, if the shrink provides me with any insight on The Ex, that would probably help me too!
Carolyn, he'll probably try to take me out to dinner or something (the Ex, not the shrink). I totally would not meet with his doctor with him in the room on this one!
Molly, well I guess it is not a completely unusual request, then. You mean there are guys out there who can "get it"? ;-)
Well, the shrink could be hot... :)
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