In general I am a very good sleeper. I have been through periods of stress when I have really awful dreams and am tired all the time.
A few months after the ex and I broke up, he was still trying to convince me that we should get back together and it was my niece's and my birthday party.
Anyway, that spring I was having all these horrible dreams. The worst, and the only one I remember now, was my nephew falling and hitting his head on cement and going in and out of consciousness. I was next to him continuously talking to him and trying to get him to focus on me and stay conscious until help came. There was another one in which I think I was being chased or something and I woke up essentially screaming (although it sounded like a weird muffled sleep scream).
I really tried hard to figure out why I was having these dreams. It occurred to me that every single one of them ended with me trying desperately to get someone to listen to me. I had one or two more significantly less awful dreams along the same lines, but they stopped after I really thought about why I was having them.
Last week, while I was stressing out about department seminar, a (3-page) grant, tutoring, and probably other stuff, I dreamt I killed someone. I do not recall ever having a dream like this. I still can not figure out who it was. It was a man. I did it in a home I was familiar with but in which I did not live, and I hung him up on a coat hook on a door to be found and went around cleaning my fingerprints. I do not even remember how I killed him. I figured someone would find him. I woke up after I realized no one would find him and I would have to pretend to find him and call 911. Ick.
Yesterday my long week was over, so hopefully I will not have any more dreams like that. I am still curious why I had it though. My because subconsciously I think my advisor is manly?
Let me preface this next part with the fact that I do live in a quiet neighborhood, but it is a very close suburb to the city. Last night I woke up to yelling on our street (several weeks ago there was a drug bust!). I heard my roommates boyfriend get up to check it out (he is a police officer), and it slowly tapered off. Then police lights went zooming down the street, but they did not stop. If I am having bad dreams, I do not need real life weird stuff waking me up in the night!
I did have an interesting dream about kissing one of my office mates last night. But as we ducked into a random room in the hall to do so, he hit his head hard on the door jam. So it did not last long because he had to go get ice. Then I woke up. I think this dream is because I told Molly the other day that I totally have a friend crush on him. Good times.
K. Off to start my day. I have a project this weekend...
5 comments:
Dreams can be fascinating - yet scary. I am not a dream interpreter, so I couldn't give you any thoughts on what your dreams might mean. But the ideas you have for why you have them sound reasonable.
My worst dreams are when I'm stressed about something and I start having anxiety dreams. Lots of running in those dreams. And showing up to class and not remembering that there is a test that day... (the typical A-student dream, it seems)
I hope you get better sleep tonight. :-)
How did you feel in the dream when you killed the person? It sounds as if, in your dream, you did something that was somehow necessary and yet also would make you feel really guilty. Handling any of those real-life situations sounds calculated to generate that guilt.
It sucks that people aren't listening to you. I hope you can speak up about that sometime.
There's one school of thought that says most of the elements in dreams represents elements of our inner selves. Is there a part of you that you feel you have killed? It could be a negative or a positive. The only clue is the masculine gender.
Are there any qualities that could be considered traditionally masculine that you have been repressing?
If he's popping up in your dreams it's pretty clear that you want him. We all know kissing is even better in real life. You're a very attractive woman. I'm sure he'd be happy to know how you feel about him. Sounds like a good opportunity to get to know each other a little better.
Danielle, I think it was totally worrying about things that needed to get done. I lost my nerve to bring up a meeting with my advisor again though, so I will still have to face that sometime. That kissing dream wasn't so disruptive to my sleep! :)
Aurora and Spark, you guys are good! I really felt like I would get away with killing the man in my dream. There was a little bit of irritation that no one had found him and I would have to be the one to report it. :) Probably stems from my feeling of always taking care of everything. Aurora, I make a point of saying something snarky when my family won't listen. :) One of my parents usually makes a point of listening then.
Unsigned, as one of my favorite phrases goes, I would probably do him. Not right now. An office romance of whatever sort in an office of 12 bored grad students? I'm not sure I want that attention. :)
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